Things You Know
by Lex Sterling
Summary: Although rescued from the Infection ravaging outside, the mind is often unwilling to let go of past nightmares. Stuck in between the horrors of yesterday and the unknown of tomorrow, Nick finds himself lost in his own gripping insanity.
1. Chapter 1

_Stealing quiet on my bed_

_And fighting wars inside my head_

_While counting the footprints on the ceiling_

_Blank and colorless tapestries_

_The voices yell inside of me_

_And I knew then that the paint was peeling_

The stench of death suffocated his senses—choked and choked, squeezed and throttled, pressed and held—it suffocated without compassion. _God, how it was suffocating._

He felt somewhere deep within himself trembling. Trembling so terribly that he could feel it in his bones. His heart was aching, his eyes were stinging, his lungs begged to taste anything but this godforsaken room.

Green-gold eyes lifted slightly, wavering between a once-upon-a-time confident rogue and an utterly helpless broken soul. God, the things he had seen. The things he had done!

All around the broken conman were others just like himself. Sitting, waiting, shaking—helpless creatures all at the mercy of the people that had promised to protect them. All around him the others were slick with red death, worn and ragged, broken and powerless with festering and neglected wounds. They all sat and awaited their fate.

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._ Would they ever come? Would anyone ever return to this suffocating room and liberate them? Or would they simply succumb to the heat, succumb to the stench—succumb to the Infection? Maybe the longer they sat here, inhaling death, they'd start to crave it for themselves. Crave not just the taste of it that was so familiar on their tongues by now, but the feel of it! The feel of warm blood between their fingers, on their skin, on their faces, on their lips. _Oh, God, maybe he was Turning!_

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. _Someone's watch nearby was so loud as it ticked away the seconds. Nick wanted to find this person, wrap his fingers around their throat and crush the air from their windpipe. He wanted to make this person suffer. Wanted to let them know how insane he felt hearing every little second ticking away. He wanted to feel death between his fingers. He wanted to make it stop. Make that god damn ticking noise stop.

"You." The man seemed to have materialized out of nowhere, because Nick swore he hadn't heard him approach—it must have been that ticking noise. Yes, that ticking noise was so loud, so very, very loud... "Come with me."

Nick made no effort to move, just kept sneering up at the man with a 'touch-me-I-dare-you' sort of sneer. The soldier complied and reached down to pull him roughly to his feet. _In an instant Nick found himself jerking free, his fist cocked back and came forward to connect solidly with the soldier's nose. Blood exploded everywhere, hot and wet, crimson and beautiful. Nick's fist came back again and again. The soldier crumpled and Nick was standing over him, fist beating over and over, tendering the flesh into a pulp of blood and gore. God, he could feel it between his fingers, slick and warm. He could taste the splatter on his lips. **Die. Die. Die. Die. Die.**_

"Sir? Sir? Hello, sir?"

Nick's gaze lifted to the soldier's face—there was no blood. Just concern—pure altruistic concern. Nick made a soft noise, his mind unable to comprehend. The soldier took his arm a little more firmly and the conman found himself leaning against the other as he led him from the room. Eyes followed them, haunted, jealous eyes that wished more than anything that it was them leaving and not him. The looks made Nick feel guilty, filthy, disgusting.

He didn't know how long they walked or even what the soldier said. He had no idea where he had been taken or why. When his eyes finally started to see again he found himself sitting across a desk from a very weary, very concerned looking man. Why was everyone giving him that same look?

"Nick, right?" the man said as he adjusted his glasses. Nick said nothing, his gaze had shifted down to stare blankly at the mug full of assorted pens. Huh… what a strange color. Was that a blue? Or a purple? "Nick, your blood work came back and you are negative for the Infection. You will be moved to the medical ward where you will be treated for your injuries, washed and mentally evaluated. Do you understand?"

Understand? Sure, he understood. Time to wake up. It's time to get up and go to school, Nick. Time to get your lessons, time to learn. Wait…wait… No, no that's not right. That's not right.

"Who are you?" Nick asked, startled. It was the first time he became aware of where he was.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my name is Dr. Deidre. I guess you don't remember me, but I was the doctor that took your blood when you first arrived." The doctor hesitated, then nodded slowly, encouragingly. "You remember me, right?"

Nick twitched where he sat, really not sure what to say. He felt his mind turning hazy with… Wait, was this what it was like to be insane? Oh no, oh no, oh no. Shit, shit, shit. You're fine, Nick. You're okay. You're all right, buddy. Nothing's wrong. You're gonna be okay.

"Where are my friends?" Nick blurted out. Where was Ellis? And Coach? And Rochelle? Where'd they all go? He couldn't remember.

"If you came with others, they are probably still in quarantine," the doctor said delicately. "When their blood work comes through, they'll be moving to the medical ward too. It can take a few days for some people to get through."

Nick felt his eyes twitching and his mouth worked itself into a frown. How long had he been in the quarantine room with all those other people?

"But I was just in there," Nick breathed, shaking his head. "I didn't see them in there. I didn't see them. Where were they? Why would you separate us? Why would you put me in there with all those people but not with them?" His voice was shaking, his body was too. Where were they? Where did they go? Where had they put them!

The doctor sat back in his chair, brow furrowed and he suddenly looked very concerned. He worried his lips for a moment, cleared his throat and adjusted himself in his seat. Finally he spoke, and he sounded sincerely alarmed, "There was no one else in that room, Nick. You were alone. We quarantine everyone individually to minimize contamination."

Alone? Nick hissed in a breath through his teeth. No, that wasn't right. He had seen all those people in there. They had all been piled into that tiny room. Everyone had been bloody and—and… and… and dead. Everyone… they had all… He had seen them.. But… They were…

Nick's mouth moved but no words came out. _Oh, God… Oh, God… Please no. Please don't take away my mind. Please, please, please!_

"Nicholas, please understand that what you have been through has been very traumatizing," the doctor said gently. He leaned forward and cautiously reached across the table to place his hand over Nick's. "You're going to be all right. We're going to take very good care of you, all right? Do you remember where we're going to be taking you next?"

Nick's lips pressed together in an unspoken 'where' and his terrified eyes searched the hand touching his so gently. God, where was he going again? Come on, brain. Come on, we can do this. We got this. We're okay, you're okay. We're okay.

"We're taking you to the medical ward, Nicholas. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… okay." Nick stood up quickly and the soldier that had escorted him earlier moved forward suddenly, almost afraid that he was going to make a dash for the door. Nick, instead, smoothed out his ruined suit coolly and slicked back his hair with one hand. In that instance, he had gathered himself expertly. You've got this, man. You're okay.

The soldier escorted him down a narrow corridor that was lined with doors. Each door had a number. Four-hundred fifty one, four hundred forty nine, four hundred forty seven…. Nick read each number as he passed it, trying hard to occupy his mind with something sensible. Numbers made sense. They always did. They had to—else they were just stupid. They were wrong. These numbers made sense though.

Wait—shit! When did he get here? Nick jumped slightly and jerked away as he noticed the woman patting gently at one of his wounds with an antiseptic cloth.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir! Did that hurt? I'll try to make this quick." With skillful hands she finished cleaning the wound and bandaging it. My God, when had she started? When had he become clean? When did he start smelling like shampoo and disinfectant? Oh, God, oh God. What happened to the numbers? Where did they go? "Sir? Are you okay, sir? Sir?"

Nick tried to say something but it came out as an incoherent blubber. God, he was so confused. Tears of frustration clouded his eyes. What was happening to him? What was going on? _Where were the others!_

"I need to get out. I need to get out of here," Nick stammered, pulling at the fresh bandages that seemed way too clean, way too perfect.

"Sir! Stop, you can't take those off yet. Sir!" The nurse grabbed at the conman's hands but he proved far stronger. The bandages began to tear away, leaving little trickles of blood on the newly cleaned and bothered wounds. "Doctor! I need a doctor over here!"

A shadow of people surrounded the conman but he hardly noticed. He was too fixated on removing all of these bandages. _When had they gotten there!_ When had all of this happened? Something poked into his arm and he jerked his arm away from it, snarling and slapping at the offending object. Then he suddenly felt heavy with sleep. He fought against the darkness, tried to stand, tried to get away, tried to run, but everything simply disappeared.

_Christ, he was alone. All around him the sound of the Infected moaned and growled from the darkness. A shuffle of bare feet on the pavement to his left sent him spinning about, gun leading. But it wasn't a gun anymore, it was a white flag. __**Surrender, surrender. There is no escape.**__ He screamed in frustration, throwing down the useless thing and sprinted into the darkness, terribly, terribly aware of how alone he was. _

_The darkness seemed to consume him, pulling at him and suffocating him. There were voices all around—wailing, screaming voices in that darkness. He slapped at the invisible hands that tore at his clothing and skin. He screamed wordless screams that were harsh and hoarse. The sound of a Witch in the distance caused him to choke on his screams—no, no, don't startle her! His mother's voice joined the screams, next his sister's and then his brother's. He heard Ellis screaming for help behind him, Rochelle's pleas to his right, Coach's to his left. All around him the world was collapsing._

_The ground beneath him started to sink and the darkness wrapped tighter around him, flooded down his opened mouth and began to suffocate him. Invisible hands became real, clasped and clutched at his body, pushing him through the floor while all around him the world exploded with chaos._

_He screamed and screamed and screamed—_

The conman jerked up, screaming, clawing at his body to try and pull away hands that were not there. Tears flooded down his horrified face, his voice choked and caught in his throat.

"Nick, hey… Nick…" Real hands, warm and gentle, took a place on both of his shoulders and turned him towards the voice. It took Nick a long moment to register that familiar face. It was Ellis. "Hey, man. It was jus' a bad dream. Yer okay."

"Ellis," Nick said, he sounded confused. The conman's hands trembled as they reached up to grasp the southerner's face between his palms. His jade-gold eyes searched desperately in those soft blues.

Ellis smiled slightly and nodded, "Yeah, Ellis," he agreed softly. "Nick, man… They had ta sedate ya. Ya went crazy in the medical ward. Are ya gonna be okay?"

The memory came flooding back and Nick let go of the others face and leaned back in the bed he just noticed he was lying in. He shuffled his legs close and pulled the covers tight around himself. Yeah… yeah, okay. He remembered that. He didn't, however, remember what had triggered his violent reaction.

"Ellis," Nick choked out. The little southerner scooted closer, listening intently. "There's something wrong with me."

Ellis offered a slight smile and reached out to pat the others shoulder comfortingly. "It's okay, Nick. Yer gunna be okay. Ya jus' need a little time ta relax. We're safe now. There ain't no zombies an' the people here are real nice. Ro an' Coach are okay too. They're out tryin' to make sure they get paper work down fer findin' their families an' stuff."

"You? What about you? Why are you here?" Nick's face scrunched up and he reached up to grasp his hair between his clenched fists. "Where am I?"

"I've been out of quarantine fer a few days now, so I already got my stuff filled out an' stuff." The little farm boy shrugged slightly, letting go of the conman. He leaned against the bed, arms crossed over it as he sat back on his heels. "We all got assigned a room an' all. Since we came in tagether they said they'd like ta keep us tagether. Which, ya know, makes sense an' all 'cause if they need room fer other survivors it's best if we all got put with people we already know. There's a lot of people here, ya know, Nick. A lot of Survivors." Ellis buried his chin between his crossed arms and closed his eyes. He let out a little sigh and then opened his eyes again to stare up at the conman. "Nick, they wanna take ya an' lock ya up an' stuff." Nick looked sharply at him as he said this. But Ellis plunged on, "They think yer dangerous an' shit, but I know tha' ya ain't an' so I told 'em I'd watch over ya until ya snapped out of it."

"You?" Nick snorted out a laugh. "Why would you want to do that?"

"'Cause we're friend's an' all. An' thas wha' friend's do," Ellis said matter-of-factly. He stood up, hands on his hips now as he stared at the laughing conman. "Why's tha' so funny? Ya ain't thinkin' 'bout sayin' after all this time we ain't friends… 'Cause we are."

"Sure. Sure thing comrade." Nick leaned back against the pillows and let out a long, harsh sigh. "Jesus, Ellis… Don't tell me you haven't been feeling… weird since you've gotten here..."

"Wha' do ya mean?"

Nick looked quietly to the other. The kid was absolutely reeking with innocence still. The way he was staring with those wide, perfectly naïve and undisturbed eyes made Nick _know_ that the kid hadn't been affected in the least bit. Fucking son of a bitch.

Nick kind of found himself wanting to throttle the life from Ellis. Maybe that'll make those innocent eyes open and see the real nightmare they had been left to suffer through. Maybe that would calm the jealous rage filling in Nick's stomach, burning and consuming his damaged soul.

All the while, the young southerner simply stared down with gentle, compassionate eyes that, despite their good intentions, were only driving the conman even further into his insanity.

_You say you know this misery_

_Well that's no more than sympathy for me_

_Because this time you were faking_

_Your motive, very questioning_

_This silence is so deafening _

_Now, see, you've got me shaking_

_

* * *

_**A/N: **_Things you Know_ by **Bright Eyes** (Conor Oberst, actually, written when he was really young) is the title of the story and the lyrics belong to that song. The rest of the song will continue to pop up periodically throughout this story. For some reason that song just seriously gets to me every time I listen to it. I really needed to write this for myself. I'm sorry, Nick, for fucking with you like this, but man, I feel just as insane as you do. I need this, buddy. So, bare with me.

If I continue this (I imagine I will, considering how effed up my mind is right now), it'll work itself into being a NickxEllis sort of story.

This chapter was meant to be confusing, by the way._  
_


	2. Chapter 2

The water was hot. Really hot. It felt kind of good. But it also burned. It really burned… It kind of hurt.

Nick flinched up at the showerhead spraying a steady stream of blistering hot water on him. His skin was starting to feel like it was scorching. He made a noise, lifting his hand up to block it lazily, squinting up at it, wondering why he simply didn't step out of the way. The feeling on his skin almost reminded him of the pain of a Spitter's vile goo burning and melting his skin. Almost… Almost felt the same.

He stood there for—for, well he wasn't really sure how long—but at some point he had switched the water from hot to cold. His tender skin goose-fleshed and he began to shake. His joints began to ache and it became hard to clench and unclench his hands. His chest suddenly felt tight and his lungs quivered for air. He let in a few choking breaths that soon, to his utter surprise, became sobs. Dear God, what was wrong with him! Just shake it off, man, just shake it off. You're okay. You're all right. Everything's all right.

But he knew it wasn't. A part of him was still conscious of the fact that there had been a time when he could have easily, _easily_ shaken off the awful things he had done. He was a conman, for Christ's sake! He had little empathy for the living—or the dead for that matter. He had never been afraid to rob a man blind without even the slightest hint of regret. What had changed? When had it changed? When had he become such a pathetic excuse of a human being? When had his numbness turned into this raw and achy emotion? When had he started to _care_ about the things he had done? When? When!

_Screaming, cursing, then you spit_

_And saying all your worthless shit_

_And I, of course I'm worth hearing_

_Drip. Drip. Drip. _When had he stepped out of the shower? Oh, well, it didn't matter. Naked, wet and shaking the conman paced back and forth in the small bathroom, one hand wrapped tightly about himself as the other worried his lips obsessively. He had to snap out of this. He had to! You're okay, man. You've got this! _You've got this, buddy!_

"Uh—oh, uh? Nick?" Ellis said, flustered. Nick had wandered right out into the room, still naked and looking extremely lost.

"Huh? What?" Nick glanced about, gauging the room. Ah, okay. He knew where he was. He knew who that was. That was Ellis.

"Uh… Nick, why dontcha put some clothes on?" Ellis looked away uncomfortably until he reluctantly returned his gaze. Nick hadn't moved, he seemed frozen in spot. "Hey, man… Wha' happened ta all yer bandages? Did ya take 'em off again?"

Nick's fingers came up to press and touch at the watery-blood snaking down his opened wounds. Oh, yeah… He had taken them off. He looked over his shoulder to stare at the scattered bandages all over the floor. He hadn't been able to cope with the fact that he was bandaged back to health without any recollection of when it had happened. The thought had driven him insane; they had to be removed. For his sanity.

"All right, man, come here. I think there's a first aid somewhere 'round here. I'll patch ya back up." The little mechanic stood up and turned off the television he had been absent-mindedly enjoying. He scooted past the conman who was standing in the doorway of the bathroom still. The other made no effort to move and Ellis had to squeeze tightly past the wet and naked man.

Nick continued to stare, wide-eyed and silent. At least, until, Ellis returned to him with a towel. "Why dontcha dry yerself off… an' like… put on some boxer's at least or somethin'." Nick complied, shaking his head a little to try and free himself from the numbness that was starting to squeeze his mind. Ellis guided the conman back into the room and sat him on the edge of one of the beds.

Out came the little red first aid. Ellis pulled out the bandages and most of the little antiseptic packages, q-tips and all the other random little items inside fell out. Nick felt this sudden and intense urge to rearrange everything, but Ellis had grabbed his arm and was beginning to wrap it, humming quietly as he did it. Nick watched the bandages wrap once, twice, three times, four… Each time it went around he mouthed the number. Ellis looked at him slowly.

"Jus' like old times, righ'?" He was smiling slightly, maybe a little awkwardly, trying hard, so very hard to engage the conman's disturbed mind and bring him back from whatever hell he was torturing himself with. Nick looked up at him, startled. _Why was Ellis smiling!_

Nick's hands jerked out and he grabbed fistfuls of the other's off-white t-shirt and jerked him close. Ellis sputtered incoherently, trying to push away but the conman's grip was fierce and iron like. "Why are you smiling?" Nick said hotly. He gnashed his teeth. "Why the fuck are you smiling?"

Ellis' mouth moved and worked hard to voice an answer, but he looked terrified. Absolutely _terrified_. His shaking hands reached up to forcefully uncurl the conman's fingers from his shirt. "Man, ya gatta calm down. Yer actin' crazy."

Nick swallowed thickly and released the other. Crazy? He was, wasn't he? "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, man, don' worry 'bout it. It's okay." The mechanic hesitated a moment longer before he moved on to continue bandaging up the rest of the wounds. A few band-aids here, some wrap here and there and the conman was back to being safely first aided. Ellis began to stuff all the items that had fallen out of the first aid back inside. Nick watched him, gritting his teeth at the disarray. "So, Nick. Why dontcha get dressed an' we can, like, go fer a walk or somethin'. The sunset's are actually pretty cool out here on the ocean. I ain't ever been on a big ship 'fore, an' so, I won't lie ta ya an' say we ain't gunna get lost or nothin'… Cause we probably will. But, if yer okay with tha' then, ya wanna go?"

"Sure," the words had escaped his lips before he had even processed what the southerner had said. Nick hated himself for agreeing. He stood up and slowly made his way back to the bathroom to dress. All the while with the door opened Ellis found this to be an invitation to keep talking.

"But, man, there was this _one time_ tha' Keith an' I were on a big ferry on the Mississippi an', like, he thought it would be really funny if he jumped overboard an' used the water wheel in the back ta get back up an' stuff. Man, he got stuck in tha' sucker an' went 'round an' 'round an' 'round, but I was laughin' too damn hard ta tell anyone, so he kept goin' around on it fer like, five minutes or somethin' until someone else noticed him. They were sooo mad! They kicked us both off an' told us ta never come back 'gain."

Nick re-emerged fully clothed now in a pair of jeans and a red button up shirt. He may have looked handsome had it not been for the intensely worried frown on his face. Ellis noticed it.

"Whas wrong, man?"

"Where are we?" Nick looked utterly confused.

Ellis mistakenly translated this simple question to 'what room are we in'. "Six fifteen." Nick gave him an odd stare as though he didn't comprehend. "Ya know, room 615? Ya better remember it, 'cause I already told ya I ain't very good at navigatin' on these big ships." Nick stared blankly, but followed when Ellis lead them from the room.

They walked and walked, and all the while Ellis talked and talked, making wide hand gestures that often made Nick flinch instinctively. Ellis never seemed to notice, because he kept doing it. It was starting to drive Nick a little crazy.

"Ellis."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Ellis pressed his lips together between his teeth. Man, had he really been rambling that bad? He must've been. 'Cause that was the first time Nick had spoken since they had left their room. To be honest, he had just been trying to fill the dead silence with something—anything. Ellis hated how silent the conman had come. Usually he was so witty and eager to burn the hick with some snazzy comment, but the last few weeks Nick had been a hollow replica of himself. Ellis missed the old conman. He missed that sharp tone he always used when shushing him, that little smirk he would always give him whenever he had a particularly good shot, or the way he would always seem to go out of his way to poke fun at him—he missed that sarcastic whimsical man from before. God, did he miss it.

They found themselves on the deck and there were dozens of other people milling about. Everyone was talking in hushed whispers and almost everyone turned to look suspiciously at them as they came outside. Ellis smiled brightly in return but Nick continued to stare out at the world looking very disinterested and detached. Ellis guided them over to the railing.

"See, I told ya the sunsets were pretty cool."

It was—Nick would admit that. The sunset was hot, fiery red-orange and it smoldered through the horizon like burning embers—but it lit the city on fire with the same ferocity. It looked like New Orleans was burning. Nick flinched at the thought.

"Kind of makes it seem like nothin' wrong, don' it?" Ellis was leaning on the railing now, smiling at the horizon. He had this strange naïve vibe to him that made Nick's skin crawl. How could he _possibly_ think that everything was okay? Everything was okay because of a fucking sunset?

Nick had this sudden desire to destroy the southerner in the same way this infection had destroyed him.

"It sure does," Nick hissed between his teeth. His eyes were hard, unforgiving as they looked nowhere but that smiling face. "It almost makes me forget about all those people I shot dead. All those bullet I used to tear apart those snarling zombies —" Ellis was looking at him now, eyes wide, his smile gone, "—almost makes me forget about those limbs I hacked off. Almost makes me forget about all that blood. Almost makes me forget the smell, the taste," the conman's voice was growing louder with each word, "Almost makes me forget that everyone I know is dead, Ellis. ALMOST. AL-FUCKING-MOST."

_And I don't know of what I sing,_

_But you, my friend, don't know anything_

_And that's what makes you not worth fearing._

Ellis opened his mouth to speak, but Nick cut him off, leaning so close that Ellis stuttered and stumbled back. "I bet your buddy Keith is just watching this fucking sunset too. I bet he's staring up with hallow eyes, drool down his chin and a gaping hole in his chest where his heart once was. I bet he's fucking chewing on some kids brain right now as he looks up with a big fucking grin at that _beautiful_ sunset."

"Nick…" Ellis choked out the others names. Tears were in his eyes. GOOD. That smile was gone. "Tha'… Tha' ain't… Tha' ain't very nice ta say…"

"AIN'T IT!" Nick snarled.

Oh, God. Look at his face! Look at that god damn hill billie's face! He's crying. He's crying now! Ain't nothin' to smile 'bout now, is there you fucking hick! Yeah, that's right. Feel it. FEEL IT. Feel this agony! Feel this despair! Know that nothing will EVER be the same again! Know it and feel it!

"Nick, wha's wrong with ya?" Ellis looked away, and his mouth was curled in a trembling frown. What's wrong, gunna cry some more? Is reality sinking in? "Yer bein' a real asshole."

Nick laughed loudly, obnoxiously. He threw back his head and laughed hard. His hands gripped the railing so tightly his fingers hurt and went white. His body shook with the laughter. People stared.

"Feel it, Ellis!" Nick was practically weeping now, choking out each word with a shudder of helplessness. "Feel what it's like to live in reality. Feel what it's like to know that you won't ever be the same person again. Feel what it's like to lose yourself! Feel it! Do you feel it? I feel it! I feel it, I feel it, I feel it!" His legs had collapsed at one point and his face was pressed against the railing. He was weeping and laughing at the same time.

Beside him, Ellis stared, mouth opened slightly as he watched the other crumble before him like some delicate sandcastle in a hurricane. It had stood so proudly once; it had been such an impenetrable fortress. It had been so god damn prideful! But the second that big bad ocean came, it had lost itself in those suffocating arms. It had been smothered and snuffed out and it there was only a trace of what had once stood left in the battered sand.

* * *

**A/N**: Lyrics from the song "Things you Know" by Bright Eyes (Conor Oberst).

I can't even begin to capture what it really feels like to feel that helpless and lost. Can't even begin to describe it.


	3. Chapter 3

_And I've been lying here for awhile now_

_Sitting and acting like a child_

_And if you find my garden, could you bring it back?_

_There's something wrong with him_! **No, no! He's fine! He jus' needs… he needs some time ta relax. We've been through a lot**. _Everyone has! There's something_ wrong _with him! He needs to be locked up before he hurts someone!_ **NO! He's. Okay. He jus' needs some time ta recover. Please. Please, let me take care of 'em. He's gonna be okay**. _**I promise**__._

Nick was curled up in the bed now, back pressed against the hard headboard, staring, staring, staring out into the darkness. How had that hick convinced all those people that he was _okay_? God, he had such a charming tongue. A little enchanting tongue that could charm the Devil himself.

Beside him, said charmer lay facing him, having fallen into a fitful sleep after trying for many hours to convince Nick to lie down and sleep. Nick had stubbornly insisted he keep watch. _Watch over what!_ Ellis had practically cried, there's no monsters, Nick. There are no more monsters. We're safe, why can't you understand that?

But that was where Ellis was wrong. There was a monster. It was inside of Nick's head. God, _inside_ him. How could he not understand that? How can you not see it!

_Because I've been lying here for awhile now_

_And I, I've been dying here for awhile now_

_And I, I've been dying for awhile, for awhile now_

"Nick?" No. "Nick?" Shut up. "Nick…?" The conman finally dropped his gaze to the hick lying beside him. Ellis was blinking sleepily up at him. "Please… go ta sleep. Half yer problem is ya ain't gettin' 'nough sleep." He clumsily reached out for the other and his hand found Nick's shoulder. He tugged at the conman's clothing, gently, encouragingly. Because he didn't want to listen to Ellis talk anymore, Nick sunk down into the covers, staring up at the ceiling still. "Nick?" Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. "If ya want ta talk, ya know, ya can. I'll listen."

Nick swallowed thickly, eyes searching into the faint darkness. A part of him wanted to start talking, to just spill _everything_. All his fears, all his horrors, all his despair. He wanted to confess it all. But what could Ellis do about it? Nothing.

He rolled onto his right side to face away from Ellis, but only a few feet away in the bed beside his, he found himself staring into the worried face of another. Oh, Rochelle. Those eyes were haunted, concerned. She almost looked like she wanted to say something. Ah, pity. He didn't want it. Not from her. Never from her.

Nick buried his face into his arms, into the covers and the pillow. But he could still _feel_ her staring. My God it was maddening. He could tell those eyes were staring still. Staring, staring, staring, just staring. Judging. God, stop looking at me! Nick pushed and clawed at the covers so he could roll back to face Ellis. In an instant he found himself only inches away from the other. Their eyes locked and they held each others gaze for what had to be a full minute.

Then Nick did something he wasn't quite sure why he had. He scooted a little closer, dipped his head down and pressed his face into the southerners' collar. Without any more prompting, Ellis' arms came out around him and held him close. That was all it took. Nick was asleep instantly.

"_Nick, Nick! Let's dance, honey, let's dance!" Dance? She reached out and took his hands and pulled him close. Their bodies came together and the conman found himself suddenly in the midst of a very slow ballroom dance. But there was no music. There never was. Vienna seemed to always dance to the music in her head. He loved it though. He smiled._

_God, she was beautiful. The way she moved, the way she smiled, the way she tilted her head back so she could gaze up into his eyes. She had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. They were so pure, so very, very pure. A beautiful gray-blue, sparkling with hints of gold. God, she was __**beautiful**__._

_Their dance continued in little spirals about the kitchen and his feet matched her rhythm easily. She always set the pace and he liked that about her. She always pretended he was leading, but he knew differently. But, he was okay with it. She was just too damn cute the way she would lead him—him being a full foot taller than her—around and around that kitchen. Their bare feet padded softly against the floor. She was humming now—humming a tune he almost recognized. Where had he heard it? _

_Their dance stopped and her hands came up, body pressing closer. Her fingers caught in his hair and he tilted his head down, arms coming around her body. His eyes began to close, locked on those beautiful, perfect lushes lips. He wanted to kiss her, but—_

_He stopped, eyes half-mast as his right hand lifted slightly. Her body suddenly felt warm and sticky. He drew himself back, frowning worriedly. He was so intent, so intent on shaking the flesh hanging from his hand that he did not notice how her breath was hot on his neck now. When he looked back to her, finally, he saw that she was no longer beautiful. Half of her face was rotting away, a permanent smile of bone and teeth curving her missing lips._

_He froze. Her hand lifted, skeleton-like now as the skin had sunk revealing every little curve of each bone in her hand. The hand squeezed about his throat and he could feel each joint and bone burying in his skin. She squeezed and a rush of air left him. But he couldn't fight it. He couldn't move. She squeezed harder. He felt a bout of dizziness over take him and his legs abandoned him and he found himself lying on the floor. She was crying as her fingers pushed down into his throat._

"_I'm dead. I'm dead because of you. You left me and I died. Why did you leave? Why would you leave me! You were my everything!" I don't know! I don't remember! Why did I leave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But it was too late. It was far too late. As her fingers crushed his windpipe she hummed hauntingly over him. The song was Bach's Arioso. That song always made him cry._

_But he couldn't cry now. She was dead... and so was he._

Nick jolted awake only to find himself pressed into someone's arms. He panicked. With a cry his hands came up and shoved the body away and he heard Ellis yelp as he went flying off the side of the bed onto the hard ground. Before the southerner could even begin to understand what had happened, Nick was on him in an instant, grabbing and throttling him. Ellis made a choking noise and his fists came up to beat at the others hands. Nick squeezed harder, undaunted by the painful rapping against his hands. The southerner's eyes began to roll back and he was starting to turn blue.

Then a hand grabbed Nick under the jaw and jerked his head back. He snarled and bit at the hand but another came up under his armpit and yanked him off the southerner. Then he was thrown face first into the bed and he felt a knee in his back and his face was being pressed into the bed. He snarled like a savage beast, trying hard to break free but Coach was unrelenting.

Ellis coughed and gasped from the ground, his chest heaving as he rubbed his aching throat. Beside him Rochelle was kneeling over him, "Ellis? Are you all right? Are you all right?"

"I'm—" He wheezed and there were tears trailing down the corners of his eyes—"I'm okay. Wha' jus' happened?" As he sat up his body shuddered violently. He cleared his throat, rubbing at it tenderly.

"Nick just tried to kill you is what!" Rochelle yelled, throwing up her hands. "Ellis we _have_ to hand him over to the military. There's _nothing_ we can do for him! He's insane!"

Ellis looked up, startled to see Nick pinned down by Coach. The conman was contorted oddly and he kept making soft mewling noises of pain and rage. The former football player was giving Ellis a look that only suggested he agreed whole-heartedly with Rochelle. Ellis shook his head in denial.

"Nah, man, wait. H-He's okay. He jus'… he jus' had a bad dream. Righ' Nick?" Ellis struggled to find his footing. He still felt a little dizzy and there was a lump in his throat—whether it was from being strangled almost-to-death or something entirely different, he wasn't sure. "Coach… let 'em go."

Coach gave Ellis an astounded stare then looked down to the conman. Nick had stopped struggling and had instead taken up to sobbing loudly, maybe in pain or in regret, it was hard to tell.

Coach let in a slow breath and shook his head. "You ain't the only one that's crazy, Nick." Then he let go and stepped back, hands raised high as if to say '_I let go, now he's your problem_'. Nick, however, didn't move. He simply curled up onto himself, hands coming to crush over his ears. He sobbed.

"I can't do this," Rochelle said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but I just can't. I can't stay in here." She grabbed at a robe and pulled it over her pajamas and then shoved her feet into her slippers, all the while shaking her head and waving her arms in absolute distraught. "I'm leaving. I'll be at the mass hall." She left without another word.

Coach gave Ellis a long, long stare. "Boy… Are you sure you want to…" He nodded to the withering conman, "be responsible for that? You just say the word and we can take him to the professionals."

"No."

"He needs help, Ellis."

Ellis bit his lower lip between his teeth and tears wavered in his eyes. Yeah, Nick needed help, but being thrown in a straitjacket and shoved into a padded room wasn't going to help him. There were too many others like Nick—and not enough doctors to deal with them. They were labeled _lost causes_. Ellis knew that. He knew because Keith was one of them. Locked away, unreachable, unattainable. A forgotten soul far too gone to ever be saved.

Not Nick too. Please, not Nick too.

Ellis' breath hitched in his throat and he crawled across the bed so that he could kneel over the conman. He shook him gently and Nick simply sobbed harder, curled up tighter and shook his head. "It's okay, Nick. I'm here. Yer gonna be okay."

Coach simply shook his head and sighed. Couldn't Ellis recognize a _lost cause_ when he saw one?

_If your finger is an untamed beast_

_Then I am just a centerpiece_

_On the table of your feelings_

_I find it sort of an interlude_

_It's just that helpless attitude of mine_

_Because there's no footprints on your ceiling_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** Song lyrics from "Things You Know" by Bright Eyes (Conor Oberst).

I understand that these chapters are short, but in reality, they have to be. I apologize anyways.

NOTE: I really hate how the lyrics skip a line. They're not supposed to, but is a dickface and won't let me do it any other way. It really, really irks me.

Also, randomly lately, for some very, very, very odd reason when I played as Ellis and Nick kept protecting/healing/following me it kept making me blush like... intensely. I played Dark Carnival as Ellis (usually Nick like 99% of the time) and I was so excited that I got Ellis' voice command to spam on the 360 version so I just stood there saying Nick's name over and over for like a good two or three minutes until I moved away and knelt down (still in the safe room area) so I could grab my phone and as I was getting up to get it, Nick walked over to stand right over me with this really intense look on his face-almost as if he was looking out for me. It made me blush so freakin' hard and I don't know why. D: God, I'm an idiot. Just thought I'd share that d'awhl moment. Also, he kept obsessively healing me and giving me pills. It was so strange, but I enjoyed it c_c.

I also noticed that the game is way easier to play when I'm Ellis instead of him being a bot. Stupid bot alway grabs the hunting rifle. Granted he kills a lot of special infected, but the hordes are always more intense feeling and Ellis always has really small numbers of kills at the end. Just found that a little odd.


	4. Chapter 4

Everything has a breaking point. A point of no return. A point where there's nothing left, nothing worth saving anymore. A point where surrender is the most logical move. Everyone has an end point, where they've been pushed to their limit. It seemed most obvious that Nick teetered over this edge. One little tiny breath, one little push, one little false step and he would fall,

fall,

fall,

fall,

fall to his demise—a demise where his mind, heart, soul and body would simply tear itself asunder. Where he would cease to be someone. Cease to be himself.

Nick was sitting in an armchair, his legs pulled up into his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them and he was just staring. His face was devoid of emotion and each one of his blinks were slow and lazy. He had not uttered a noise since Ellis had finally gotten him to stop crying hours ago. He had simply folded onto himself and gone silent. Coach had eventually left—discouraged and unable to look at the conman anymore; Rochelle had never returned. It was only Ellis that remained.

Ellis sat at the edge of the bed closest to Nick and he was staring back at the conman. But it seemed unlikely that Nick noticed him. What was he thinking? Was he even thinking at all?

_And everything slips through my hands_

_I'm sorry, I don't understand_

_Those points I should be making_

God, he was so was silent. Nick was so damn silent! Ellis folded his hands neatly in his lap, studying the man's blank face. Every time Ellis swallowed he found it difficult. There was a lump in his throat and an ache in his chest. It hurt so much, _so very much _to see Nick like this. God, it just _hurt_. It hurt worse than any flesh wound he had received—which was saying quite a lot, considering. Ellis could have never imagined he could hurt this much. He wondered if Nick's heart felt the same way—maybe that was why he was so sad. This hurt. It really, really hurt.

Ellis hadn't really known Nick for very long—really, only a few months—but he thought he had learned everything about the conman. He knew that Nick was a neat-freak, that he liked to gamble, _that he could play the piano_, that he was once married, that he was witty and smart, that he could be charming when he wanted, that his smile always seemed to be more of a knowing smirk, that when he laughed he always closed his eyes…

But really, when Ellis thought about it, he knew _nothing_ about Nick, because Ellis could have _sworn_ Nick had the strongest mind over any of them. Ellis would have sworn on his life that Nick would be the last person he would ever witness becoming so utterly destroyed like this.

He would have never though Nick could be so fragile. So painfully and obviously fragile.

_Your selflessness I should have missed_

_I never knew this emptiness_

_Like a child that's been forsaken_

"Nick?" No response. "Nick?" Still nothing. The southerner slowly got to his feet, his hands still clasped together in front of him. He moved before the conman and knelt in front of him. "Hey…? Nick?" Ellis' lip quivered slightly and he inhaled sharply through his nose, trying hard to fight back the tears. Shaking he reached out to touch the conman's leg. Nick seemed to not notice. "Please, Nick. Talk ta me." The conman's response was only more silence. "Damn it, Nick… Damn it, wha' do ya want me ta do? Please, tell me wha' I can do ta help ya…" He dropped his face down, trying to hide the emotion twisting his features. He pressed his forehead against the conman's ankles and his hands grasped at the other's clothes. Ellis began to shake.

The mechanic fought for the longest time. He fought the tears for as long as he possibly could. But when his eyes had closed, all he could see were those blank, unseeing green eyes. Eyes that seemed so dead, so haunted. Eyes he didn't recognize. Unable to force back his frustrations anymore Ellis began to cry. He cried because he was starting realize there was a very real possibility that he might never see _Nick_ again.

_That all the things you never take_

_The toys you purposely would break_

_Like a gift that I was giving_

Nick was focused, so very focused on the lamp across the room. It was so bright. It was numbing to stare at. There were sparkles of light dancing across his vision; little black and yellow spots that drifted lazily to the left, but returned front and center each time he blinked. It was kind of amusing. He liked to watch them dance. He felt so powerful knowing he could control when they came back to the center. Like he was orchestrating a beautiful dance. One two three, one two three, one two three.

_I know I just did hear and stare_

_Never thinking about how unfair it was_

_Like a light that was leaving_

It had to have been minutes later that he felt himself jarred out of his stupor. He suddenly became very aware that Ellis was nearby—very nearby. The mechanic's face was pressed against his legs and his hands were clutching at him and Ellis was… Ellis was crying. Nick sucked in a breath through his teeth and his eyes jerked down to that trembling body. When had that happened? Why had it happened? _Where had Ellis' smile gone?_ His mind cheered with the realization that the kid was no longer smiling that sickeningly innocent smile—but his heart—dear God, _his heart_—had sunk further into his chest. Nick could have sworn it had already collapsed as far as it could, but it hadn't. It hurt even more.

Please, please come back sweet smile!

The older man's hands lifted slowly, shaking until they rested in the mechanic's hair. Ellis jerked back, startled blue eyes finding intense green.

The southerner's breath hiccupped in his throat. "Nick?" he questioned, almost as if he didn't quite believe that the man was acknowledging him. Nick found himself twisting the others locks in his hands. They were soft, really soft. The curls wrapped and twirled around his fingers and when he tugged at them they resisted for only a moment until they slipped from his knuckles and bounced back into their perfect lushness. He found himself obsessively stroking and twisting the hair. It was strangely comforting. "Nick, please... Tell me whas wrong."

_And I've been lying here for awhile now_

_Sitting and acting like I was in exile_

_But if you see my sister, could you send her home?_

Nick tilted his head slightly, almost as though he were trying to figure out what Ellis had said. His hands had come to a stop, buried in the young man's hair. He blinked once, twice. He tilted his head the other way. His lips pursed together, parted slightly, eyes gentle, strangely gentle. "Where is your smile?" he cooed softly.

Ellis blinked back at him. He wasn't sure if Nick was belittling him. The mechanic shuffled on his knees, hands coming up higher to grip at the others legs. "Nick… please… Let me help."

Nick did not reply, he only let his fingers continue to work in Ellis' hair. God, the softness… it was so calming. It eased Nick's troubled mind.

Ellis sighed and then his own hands rose to gently place over Nick's. Nick stopped stroking the locks and his fingers twitched. The conman frowned slightly. "Nick… ya need ta talk ta me. Ya can't jus' sit in here an' be like this. Yer makin' _me_ feel crazy."

Ellis stood up and Nick's hands lifted up with the motion and his fingers slipped from the others hair as Ellis straightened fully. Nick's hands were still reaching upward, his face suddenly looking terribly distraught. He took in a few noisy breaths and his hands began to shake. No, no, no… come back, come back!

_Because I've been dying here for a while now_

_And I, I'll be dying here in a while now_

_Dying for a while, for awhile now_

_I'm dying for a while, a while, a while now_

_For a while, for—_

"Nick. _Please_." Ellis shuffled backwards and fell onto the bed again. He let out a disheartened sigh. The heels of his hands buried into his eyes to attempt to stop his burning frustrated, frustrated tears. "Tell me whas wrong with ya. Tell me wha' yer thinkin' in tha' head of yers! Wha' are ya thinkin'?"

"_Will you smile again if I tell you?_" Nick blurted out. They gave each other startled looks, almost like neither had expected him to say anything.

"Yeah, Nick. I'll smile again." Inwardly, Ellis wondered if there would be a reason to smile.

Nick inhaled through his closed teeth. It made a hissing noise. "I'm. Not."

"Wha'?" Ellis shook his head. "Not wha'?"

"Thinking. I'm not. But I am." Nick looked suddenly confused. "No… I can't stop thinking… I can't stop _not_ thinking… I can't…" His face twisted and his hands came up to cover his ears. He shook his head forcefully back and forth, grinding his teeth. "I'm thinking… but not of things that mean anything. I can't focus. I can't concentrate on anything." His voice shook, "It's like my mind's not mine anymore… There's nothing I can focus on. I just need to focus on something. I just need to do _something_ to get this awful weight up off my chest."

Ellis searched the ground. Something to focus on? Something to… Ellis' lips parted slightly as he drew in a startled breath. He knew exactly what Nick needed! The mechanic sprung to his feet.

"Nick!" The conman looked up at him, cowering still. Ellis faulted for a moment, but then he held out his hand. "I wan' ta take ya somewhere."

Nick stared at that outstretched hand for a long, long time. Then finally, still looking unsure of himself, he reached out and took Ellis' hand. The mechanic's fingers came around his. Ellis held on tight.

* * *

**A/N:** Lyrics from "Things You Know" by Bright Eyes (Conor Oberst).

The sentence "I need to do something to get this awful weight up off my chest" is a line from the song "The Joy in Forgetting, The Joy in Acceptance" by, you guessed it, Bright Eyes.

Although the song "Things You Know" has essentially been completely written, I still have one-mayhaps two-chapters left.

I also really, really, don't like this chapter. I don't know if it's the length or because I used so much of the song in it... but it just seems... lacking. I don't know.

Thank you for the kind words and the reviews. It means a whole lot to me.


	5. Chapter 5

"_Well, I'll be damned." Nick let out a little snort and Ellis looked to him curiously. The conman was smiling—no, he was smirking; Nick didn't know how to __**just**__ smile. The conman always had to look like he knew something you didn't. Ellis felt the corner of his mouth twitching into a grin. _

_The mechanic's blue eyes followed Nick's gaze and he found himself staring at a simple piano nestled in the corner. The pub had suffered so many violent shudders from the military's bombs that it looked like half the ceiling's dust had covered the room—and especially, that black piano. Still, though, it stood proudly... almost like it was waiting for someone._

"_Oh, come on," Rochelle huffed. "This isn't the time or the place. If you've forgotten, we're in the middle of a __**zombie apocalypse**__."_

"_Relax," Nick shot back. He looked a little annoyed. "I just want to see if it works."_

_"'Sides, we can use a li'l break," Ellis voiced. Rochelle looked at the mechanic, judged his eager expression for a moment, and then with a sigh she gave in. The woman crossed her arms and nodded once as if to say 'well hurry up'. Her foot began to tap impatiently almost instantly. Beside her, Coach chuckled good naturedly._

_Perhaps just to irk her more, Nick took his sweet time moving to the piano. He stepped delicately around the broken glass and fallen bar stools. All the while, he was just staring fixatedly at that piano. When he reached it he stood for a brief moment to admire it. Then he slid onto the bench, for some reason not noticing that he had just covered his pants in dirty ceiling dust. _

_Nick glanced over his shoulder as Ellis approached but he made no comment. His gaze fell back to the keys. His eyes searched the dusty surface._

_Both of his hands lifted together and then his fingers came down onto one key, then two, three—Ellis lost count quickly. The conman's fingers flickered across the surface. The song that he played Ellis recognized. It was probably one of the few he did. He wasn't much of a classical guy, but the melody had been beaten into his head all through grade school. It felt odd watching Nick play it, though. It was the first time Ellis really listened to it._

_It was Beethoven… it was called "F__ü__r Elise" and Ellis would have sworn that the song was still as drab and boring as it had been when he was a kid, but __**God**__ the way Nick played it… The way his hands moved, the way his body swayed with the melody, how intense his eyes were, how he was smiling… It made Ellis' heart pound. Maybe it was because he had never __**seen**__ anyone play it—just heard it over and over in those boring and tedious classrooms—but there was something entirely different about the song now as Nick played it. Ellis found himself mesmerized._

_All too soon—far too soon—the song was over with. Nick's hands hovered over the keys for a moment longer as if he wanted to keep playing, but then he shrugged slightly and stood. Ellis stared at him in open awe. Nick smiled—no, no, he __**smirked**__ back at him and—_

He had that same look on his face. That same startled, curious look he had had back at the pub, back when his eyes had fallen on the piano for the first time… Nick's lips parted slightly and he blinked several times. His gaze momentarily broke free of the piano's captivating surface and found Ellis' eyes. He just sat there and stared at Ellis, almost as if begging him for permission to play. The young man nodded eagerly, encouragingly.

Nick's hands lifted slowly and his fingers came to rest gently on the keys. He brushed down the length of it, making no noise except for the soft _shhck_ of his fingertips on its surface. His hands came back before him, touching the surface greedily. He seemed almost lost, like he didn't know what to do. But then there was a flicker_—_a flicker of something.

Nick's fingers came down and the song—soft, slow and maybe _too_ gentle, _too_ sad—filled the air. His voice followed, barely a whisper, and each word was drawn out and smooth, filled with undertones of sorrow and humility. The words, although clear, were not in a language Ellis knew.

"_The mouth of the just shall meditate wisdom and his tongue shall speak judgment. Blessed is he who suffers temptation. For once he has been tried, he shall receive the crown of life. Oh lord, oh holy fire, have mercy. Oh how sacred, how serene. How benevolent... how lovely. Oh lily of purity… have mercy..." _

The music continued to flutter passionately long after Nick's voice had ceased its enchanting melody, but the misery behind the song was still evident.

The song ended and Nick sat back, staring at the keys wordlessly.

Ellis opened his mouth as if to speak, but then he stopped. He wasn't sure if maybe he had just made things worse. Nick looked to be in tears again. Damn it… this wasn't what he had meant to do. Ellis moved closer and lifted a hand cautiously to Nick's shoulder. The conman half-glanced at him, but he said nothing. Ellis swallowed painfully, feeling guilt creeping up inside of him. He would have sworn, he would have _sworn_ this would have helped Nick! If maybe even only little. _He would have sworn!_

"Nick… I'm sorry… I di'n't… I di'n't mean ta…"

Nick's hands rose again and his fingers came down on the keys.

The conman's face softened and his eyes closed—

—Nick had to of played dozens of songs like that, never repeating one twice. His voice had never joined again and his eyes had seemed to stay closed permanently. Ellis wondered how he could have possibly remembered all of these songs… but if Nick had ever missed a note—or a page—Ellis was unaware of it. As far as Ellis could tell Nick played with perfect, absolute tenderness and passion. At least he wasn't lifeless anymore.

Crowds came and went. People lingered and stared, some whispered and others nodded solemnly with unsaid appreciation. But it was only Ellis who stayed obediently. At one point he had pulled up a chair beside the other, but he hadn't moved since then. And, that, had to of been hours ago… But, strangely, Ellis found himself unable to move. Each song Nick played almost felt like it was meant to be a confession. It was almost like he was trying to tell Ellis what he was feeling inside. The lack of words didn't make his message any less obvious—Nick hurt. A lot. But… why?

"Ellis?" The mechanic about jumped out of his skin at the sound of his name.

It was Coach. The big man was standing beside the younger man and he was staring at Nick—almost off-handedly, absently. The conman continued to play—unhearing, unseeing, intolerant of anything but the gentle sway and rock of his body to the song that had seemed to have consumed him.

Coach was silent a moment longer until he finally spoke. "I found some of my family, Ellis. I'm going to be staying with them."

Ellis smiled up at the man, "Thas great, Coach. Thas real great. I'm happy fer ya." And he was.

Coach's mouth worked into a frown. "Ellis… are you sure about this? About staying with Nick? I won't be there next time if he loses it." Both of their gazes fell to Nick. He still seemed unaware of anything but the piano before him.

Ellis nodded once; yes. He was sure.

Coach let out a strained sigh. "All right then kid." He offered his hand to the fellow southerner but Ellis quickly stood and embraced the big man. Coach warmly returned it. "Take care, all right? And keep in touch… I won't be too far away."

"Thanks, Coach."

The big man gave Ellis one last look before he half smiled. His gaze then fell to the conman. "Hey Nick." Not surprisingly, Nick did not break his trance. "I'll see you around. You take care of yourself, you hear?"

Eyes still closed, fingers still coaxing beautiful notes from the piano, the man called back faintly, "Yeah, you too." It surprised Coach. It surprised Ellis too. Nick seemed to have not noticed he had said anything. Coach looked at Ellis and shook his head with a slight smile. Then with one last warm pat on the mechanic's shoulder, Coach had turned and disappeared into the crowds of people.

And once again, their party of four had become two.

* * *

**A/N: **The song Nick sings is a Latin opera song called "Lilium" (Not sure when it was originally written, but it a beautiful song used for Elfin Lied's opening song). I wanted to write it _in_ Latin, but if you don't know the song, then it's hard to capture the emotion behind it, so I wrote it translated in English to try and give off the humble, almost desperate tone to it. It's not fully written out—I imagine Nick maybe didn't know all of it, or perhaps Ellis just couldn't hear him he was whispering it so quietly =P

After some considerable time thinking, I've come to realize that there's no way this story can end in a few chapters and be fulfilling. I guess, it'll continue on as long as it needs. Besides… I need this story as much as it needs me, if not more.

Also, if you've ever had the pleasure to watch someone play one of your most favorite songs in person—be it classical or not—you will find yourself falling in love with that song all over again.

(Now bullshit rant here)

I don't like Rochelle. She's such a bitch. LOL Just had to get that out of my system.

So, this cracked me up. I was playing four swordsmen (which is a lot harder than I initially thought it'd be) and Ellis ended up getting caught up on a balcony after we all jumped down on a level in the Parish. (I'm not going to lie, I was absolutely heartbroken listening to that Charger killing him and Ellis screaming for help. But it was impossible to get back up and so I threw boomer bile at it (totally useless since there's no hordes e_e) and just… waited for Ellis to die… So, when he did I massacred the Charger and gimping away, Coach at my side and Rochelle somewhere behind us Coach whispers "Stay close now, it looks like we just became a party of two!" and I looked down—Ellis is dead, Rochelle is in green health, Coach yellow, me yellow… and then I started laughing. I'm with ya, Coach. Rochelle is dead to me too, buddy. For some reason, it made me laugh super hard. Then everything was okay when I saved Ellis from a closet. But, I ended up getting too pissed off at them at one point. They seem to get fixated on things really easily and just stop moving and it's not until you're really far away that they finally teleport out of their stupor. Ridiculous. I got so sick of dying because they're too retarded to turn and slap me free from a smoker or hunter.

I'm also becoming more and more aware that I am insanely jealous of Ellis giving attention to anyone but me. On Dark Carnival I kept standing between Ellis and Rochelle when he was trying to heal her (FUU you, Ellisbot. I healed yo ass with mine! So, that healthpack you're carrying was supposed to be for me –angry face-). I swear, Ellisbot is so persistent. He just kept pulling that first aid out, over and over and over and over, until I finally pitied him and let him heal her. Anyways… done with the rambling.


	6. Chapter 6

Ellis studied Nick. He studied everything about him. He studied the way Nick was hunched over slightly, how his eyelids twitched on certain notes, how small smiles or frowns touched his lips as the melodies grew faster or slower, how his body moved differently with each song.

Nick was speaking so many volumes, screaming so many things without saying a word. Listen close, my friend—he seemed to be saying—listen close and you'll understand everything. You'll understand why I am so troubled, why I cry, why I won't smile or laugh, or meet your eyes. If you look closely, you'll know exactly what I need. So please, don't look away; you may miss something.

There had been a time in Ellis' life when he would have been too nervous, too damn unsure to trust himself to help another in such a state of mind like Nick's. Sure, he was always there for his friends and his Ma when they were down and often his goofy antics were enough to make them smile—but, this was different. This was way, _way _different. At times Ellis felt like he said all the wrong things or simply failed at getting his point across; like maybe he just wasn't the right guy to be doing any of this. At one time he probably would have become too flustered, too afraid to keep trying—too afraid he would make things worse. There had been a time…

…When he had first arrived on this cruise ship—beaten up and bruised, but so damn happy to be there—he had still felt invincible—indestructible. Like nothing in the world could hurt him! Man, he couldn't wait, couldn't _wait_ to tell his buddy Keith about all the adventures! He couldn't wait to find Ma and Dave and tell them all about the crazy times he had just endured! Aw, man, Ma! You won't believe it! We went through Whispering Oaks! And Keith, you should have been there when went through the swamp! Dave, Dave! We were in the mall and _Jimmy Gibbs Jr's car was there!_ I know, man!

But that attitude, that simple-minded naiveness he had relied so hard on during their fight to New Orleans had all but shattered when he stood there holding a list of confirmed deceased in his hands. He had probably changed when he had found his neighbor on that list, that nice lady at the grocery store, his favorite high school teacher from way back when, his mother, his friend Dave and some of his high school buddies. It may have been then that he had realized he wasn't indestructible, or invincible. That everyone around him had suffered and that suffering had been very real…

But _for sure_ he had changed when he had walked into that brightly lit room, the one that had been modified as a holding cell for the insane. For sure he had changed, grown up and understood that the suffering people went through was real and not some game that he could restart and try again if he didn't like the outcome.

For sure he had changed when Keith had snarled at him, tried to bite him, scratch him and cursed him. For sure, he had changed when Keith had screamed at him—told him that he was dead—told him that he wasn't real. For sure, then, he had grown up while standing there with tears streaming down his face, unable to say anything to the man that had been his best friend since the day he could walk. In that instant he had grown up.

Watching that savage man—the one that had Keith's face—staring at that person that had once shared so many memories with him, Ellis had understood that there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending. He had been naïve—stupid really, to think that he would walk out of this infection unscathed. He had been so very stupid to think that this had all been a game. But this was real life and it had no redo button.

So, maybe it was because he hadn't been able to save Ma, or Dave, or Keith that Ellis felt obligated—no, _determined,_ to save Nick. Before Ellis still sat the shadow of a man he had once known. There were still glimpses of that confident, cocky conman. There was still hope. Nick was still in there. He just needed help finding himself again. Ellis swore he would be the man to save him.

The mechanic shifted forward, feeling his body ache with the motion. He wondered briefly when it was the last time he had moved. He slowly got to his feet, rubbing his hands down his sides, trying to bring the feeling back to them.

As much as Ellis didn't want to make Nick stop, he knew it was growing late. They had been sitting here for hours and hours and Nick had just been playing and playing and playing. His hands had to hurt by now, but if they did, it didn't show. He seemed to have just as much vigor now as when he began.

"Nick?" One two three four, one two three four and again! The song continued undisturbed. "Nick… Ya should eat somethin'. Ya haven't eatin' nothin' yet today." Neither had Ellis, for that matter and the mechanic knew he was, at least, starving. Nick _had_ to be too. He probably just hadn't noticed. "Hey…? Are ya listenin'…?"

…He had played this song at his sister wedding. How long ago had that been? Fifteen years? Jesus, it's really been that long, hasn't it? Nick's head dipped down slightly as the song called for a more dramatic flutter of his fingers. Behind his closed eyes he could see all those people, hand in hand, twirling, close, so close, smiling and laughing, laughing so joyfully. He could see his sister—beautiful in white, blushing and so in love. Her husband—Michael—a man that Nick had always secretly approved of, held her close. He was smiling too. Nick had to admit, they looked lovely together. He was envious.

Thinking back to that time, so long ago, Nick could recall how his sister had practically begged him to play at her wedding. He had stubbornly refused at first, of course. He just _had_ to make her beg. It was just a little brother thing. After she had stroked his ego for a good month or two he had finally caved in. She had refused to let anyone but him play—and, damn, he had sounded good. Real good. She had cried with delight at the end of the night. Just held him and thanked him, told him how much she loved him, how much she cared, how grateful she was to have him.

He had be twenty years old then…

And it was the last time he had held her—he had seen her. It wasn't long after that day that life had swept him into a world of gambling and conning. He had never once come back home after that. He had never even said goodbye. Not even a _'hi, how are you?'_ after that day. He wondered if they ever went looking for him. Why didn't he ever go home? Why didn't he ever call? What had stopped him? Why had he pushed them out of his life so easily?

And now he couldn't call, he couldn't apologize. Never, never, never. Because everyone was dead. Surely, most certainly, without any doubt they were all dead.

His hands lifted for the first time from the piano in hours and came to cover his face. He sunk forward and his body shook painfully. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I never said goodbye and _I'm sorry._ God, I'm so sorry. I never meant to leave. Did you worry? Did you even care? Did you look for me? Did mom cry? Did dad try to tell her I would come back? Did you ever tell Eric that I was sorry about what I said? Did he ever forgive me?

Ellis moved instantly to Nick's side the moment the music stopped. He stood hesitantly over the other man, unsure how what to do. Nick was falling apart before his eyes, absolutely crumbling. He was losing him and he was losing him fast.

Instinctively Ellis found himself descending onto Nick with a tight embrace. He felt Nick hiccup against the touch and the conman lifted his head up long enough to note who it was that held him. Nick tried to smile, maybe to show his thanks, but his sobs just refused to let him.

"Come on, Nick, let's go…" Ellis whispered softly in his ear.

Nick stood obediently and when he did, he became aware of how bad his back hurt. His muscles tensed and burned with each movement. The man supposed he deserved it. He took in a shuddering breath and, for the moment, stifled his tears. Ellis gave him a lingering look before turning to, presumably, bring them back to their room. Nick followed closely.

Just stay close. _Don't let him out of your sight, you can't lose him too_. Nick reached out urgently and grabbed at Ellis arm and his hand caught Ellis'. Nick could see the way Ellis blinked, the way his mouth parted slightly, how his breath hitched slightly—he saw the way the other man responded to that brave touch. But he didn't pull away. Instead, Ellis smiled and his grip tightened almost as if to say, 'I'm still here an' I ain't goin' nowhere."

Nick wept with this realization.

* * *

**A/N**: Mentally, emotionally, I am not all right. I confess this. I would apologize for writing in this mental state, but, in fact, I can't stop. If I stop I have nothing. Just my own thoughts, and I can't handle that. I need this. Bare with me… and thank you. Please be patient.


	7. Chapter 7

Ellis had left him alone only long enough to find them something to eat. He had spent five minutes reassuring Nick that he would be back soon—and although Nick believed him the first time he said it, he still found himself greedily wanting to hear it over and over. And so Ellis had promised him again and again that he would be back very soon. He must have only been gone for fifteen minutes.

Although Nick found himself strangely without an appetite, he ate anyways. The food wasn't great, but he didn't complain. He could hardly taste it anyways. All the while Ellis talked and rambled, stuffing mouthfuls of food in between a drawn out sentence that seemed to have way too many_ 'and then's'_ in it. Nick didn't mind though, he liked the brightness Ellis emitted… In a strange way, it reminded Nick of a beacon. Ellis was his beacon. If he kept his eyes on that light, didn't lose sight of it, maybe he could get out of this hell alive. Maybe… just maybe… So please, little light, just keep on shining, just keep on shinning and I'll keep holding on.

Empty plate discarded on the nightstand nearby Ellis fell backwards onto his bed. He let out a long sigh. "So, Nick?" He worked his hands underneath his head and looked to the other. "Do ya feel any better? Did playin' tha' piano help ya any?"

Nick blinked blankly at the other, his plate held in both hands, forgotten as it rested in his lap. Nick moved to speak, but he couldn't think of anything to say. He simply dropped his gaze from the other and nodded slightly, stiffly.

"Where'd ya learn ta play like tha'?"

Where? Nick blinked slowly. Where did he learn? Where…?

_He must have only been five, maybe even four the first time he had pounded his little hands on the family's piano. His mother had quickly pulled him away from it and gently chided him—__**No, no, Nicholas, that's daddy's piano, we mustn't touch.**__ He had cried and cried after being denied those pretty little noises. Then his father had come in, looked at him seriously and then lifted him up and onto his lap as they sat them before that beautiful black and white surface. Nick remembered how his father had pressed his fingers over his—and let him feel like he was playing those sweet notes himself. Nick could remember how he laughed and he laughed and he laughed—oh and how his father had smiled down at him, how he had just smiled so adoringly at him—_

"Nick? Man, hey? Are ya all righ'? I di'n't mean ta make ya upset." Ellis was standing over the older man now. Nick didn't remember when he had started to cry. The mechanic gently tugged the others plate away and set it aside. "Hey, man… Ya wanna talk? Ya can tell me anythin' ya want. I'll listen."

"My father taught me," Nick blurted out.

Ellis blinked at him, a little confused. "Okay?" he said, trying hard to follow.

"The piano, I mean." Nick rattled his head, fighting to stay in control. "He taught me how to play. I loved it… But I didn't love him." Nick shuddered and reached up to hold himself tightly. He was shaking, maybe at the memories or maybe because the AC had kicked on, the reasons almost seemed irrelevant. "He was a miserable and mean man. The only time he smiled was when he was playing that piano. It was the only time I could tolerate him… I don't know why mom stayed. He was so mean. He was so fucking mean to her... to us." His hands came up to bury into his hair and he tore and tugged at it. "I was twenty. Twenty when I told him how much I hated him."

Oh how the memory came flooding back—standing there, screaming, hands at his sides as he yelled, just yelled his frustration at that stoic man that just stared back so indifferently.

"I told him how terrible of a person he was. I told him how awful he was, how cruel and heartless, how he always made mom cry, how angry he made me and how I hated him. _God, how I hated him._ He laughed in my face. He laughed at me when I told him. He told me I didn't know what I was talking about. How I needed to open my eyes and stop living in such a lie, _stop living in such a twisted fantasy, Nicholas_! You are no victim. Oh, and how mom just stood there—staring. Like she couldn't believe what I was saying. She never spoke a word of those things she had secretly confessed to me. She never mentioned the feelings of despair she would always sob to me during late nights. She never said a word! She just stood there!"

God, that was why he had left. That was why! That was it! Twisted fantasy? Is that what you wanted me to wake up from? Is what you thought? Is it? WELL? IS IT?

He had left behind everything—his adoring sister, his troubled brother, his lonely mother and his disgusting, evil, vile father. He had left that day, filled with so much rage he would have sworn it would burn a hole right through his stomach. He had hoped on the first train east and just rode and rode and rode. He had arrived on that platform in Chicago with nothing but forty-six dollars left and his house key in his pocket. He had thrown the key first chance he had gotten. He had known that he would never, ever, ever go back. And in that moment he had felt like he had been lifted of a great and terrible weight that had been crushing him his entire life... and he had cried with relief.

Years had passed, years and years of making money through gambling and using charm he had never thought he had had—it must've been that small town charm that those city folks fed into so easily. Shit, as a kid he could have conned God himself with those innocent smiles.

After many years he had perfected that charm. Eventually he could flatter the money right out of women's hands, talk men into handing over hundreds of dollars with a trusting smile—and when that failed, he had used a slight of hand to earn his winnings. And when _that_ had failed, he would find some piano—somewhere, in a casino or a hotel and just play and play and play. Sometimes people would leave him money—call it pity or whatever—he didn't care; he knew beggars couldn't be choosers and so he would take it all. Often he was hired on the spot to come back and play. Sometimes he did, sometimes he just took the money and left. Either way, he just drifted and drifted and drifted.

He had fallen in and out of love once along the way and when that had crashed and burned, he then had sworn love off all together. No more! No more mistakes! I can't do it again, I can't handle it again. I can't go through that again.

More drifting, more gambling, more conning and lies had brought him here—to the south—where everything had fallen apart—the little world, his little fantasy, had been rudely destroyed when he found himself surrounded by a Green Flu outbreak.

And it was then he had to confine his trust with someone other than himself. He had to trust that these people wouldn't leave him for dead, wouldn't use him or backstab him. For the first time, in a long time, _he had to put his life in someone else's hand—_

"Nick? Nick!" Ellis shook the conman more insistently—and maybe because of how roughly he shook him, Nick seemed to snap out of it. He blinked up into Ellis face—_and only one remained._ "Nick. Tell me everythin'."

"Everything…?" Nick repeated, unsure. "I don't even know where to begin."

"At the beginnin'. Start there."

The beginning?

When Nick opened his mouth again he found words spilling out of it. They were words of confession; confessions of heartache from a life he had endured, confessions of feelings of despair, loneliness, regret... Feelings that had been suffocating and numbing him for so long. Feelings that felt so good **_and so terrible_** to speak about.

And as he sobbed out those confessions, Ellis held his hands tightly in his and just listened.

* * *

**A/N:** God, how I wish I could leave everything behind. Just wash my hands and be through. I so very selfishly burdened Nick's past with my present. God, how I would leave if I knew I had someone like Ellis to keep me from falling.

Thank you for the kind words and for the kind reviews. Thank you for being patient and for reading.


	8. Chapter 8

_There had been a time, Ellis, a time when I had been happy. A time before mom and dad had been so open about their hate for each other. There had been a time when my brother, my sister and I would run through the sprinklers and laugh, have sleep over's with the neighbors and stay up all night in that old tree house we built in the backyard. _

_There had been a time when everything was normal. Then one day... everything changed. Their fights became louder, angrier, more violent. Divorce was threatened at least once a week and we use to pray that they would just finally do it. Emily and I would try to keep Eric from crying, but he always did. He was always so sensitive—and that's probably why he started drinking by thirteen. I remember when I found out, how I yelled at him. He didn't care though, he just sneered in my face and screamed back at me... demanded me to tell him what he should do then. And I wasn't able to answer and so he just continued and he got worse and worse and worse. _

_Every year dad got meaner and meaner and meaner. The things he said, the __**things he believed**__ were nauseating. They were sickening. The things he would yell at us, tell us were truths were so incomprehensible that I knew he had to be insane. And we fought and we fought. Emily would never say anything when he yelled those things at us, Eric was never around—but I... I always disagreed with him. I always told him so. He always hated that. We would argue and argue and argue, and maybe it was because we fought so much that he always ended up having to go for mom at the end of the day. Because he knew she wouldn't question him or disagree with him... I...I still feel guilty about that. _

_And things just kept getting worse. I grew older, I moved out, but I still came back to visit Eric. He was always too drunk to even help himself and I had yelled at him in his bedroom doorway one night. Just told him he needed to grow up. You're eighteen, Eric! You're eighteen now. Do something! Do something with your life! You're so pathetic, you're so god damn pathetic and I'm __**embarrassed**__ to be your brother! But I didn't mean that. I was just so worried, so damn worried for you. But I couldn't voice my worry without crying and I didn't want to cry in front of you. I never apologized… I never said I was sorry for those things I said… but, God, I was so sorry. I never meant it… _

_But Emily, she got out. She went to college met a guy, fell in love and got married. Dad didn't like him though. He disapproved. Of course he did. I told him Michael was great, that was perfect for you, that he treated you right, bought you flowers and held your hand, was honest and faithful. But nothing was good enough for you. And that was when I broke. When I cracked and all that hatred I had for him came out of me and I just yelled. I told him everything; how he had ruined our family, how he made everyone so miserable, how awful of a man he was. And when he had laughed—__**when he had laughed**__—I knew I was done. I knew that I couldn't come back anymore. And I left without another word. I never went back._

_I remember how nervous I was the first time I walked into that big casino in Chicago. I'll never forget how I shook so badly when I showed them my ID that they thought for sure it was a fake and spent fifteen minutes trying to figure out if it was real or not. Eventually they let me in. _

_Then I met the first person I ever managed to weasel money out of. Some young lady, probably in her late twenties looking so sad and so very lonely. I must've too, because she came over to me and we talked and talked and eventually she bought me a drink, two, three, four and before I knew it I was back at her place. I didn't mind though, it was kind of nice getting laid by a stranger. There was no feeling to be hurt there. It was a mutual thing. A physical thing._

Nick risked glances to Ellis every so often, and each time that he did, he could see that the southerner was still staring intently, so fixatedly at him. Nick wouldn't have ever thought that Ellis could concentrate so damn much… I mean, he had spent a little over two months with him and the kid screamed ADHD like some stupid informational scare-tactic ad on T.V.. He would have never thought in a million years that Ellis could look so damn… serious.

_I became really good at getting money, you know. I developed this smile—this winning grin that melted women's hearts and men trusted. I spewed lies and they gave me money. I used that money to gamble—but to be honest, I liked pool. God, I was good at it. People would bet hundreds of dollars that they could beat me and I took every bet. I never lost once... Until I met her. _

_She was the first and the last person I ever lost a game too. It wasn't because she was better than me. That wasn't it at all. It was because of the way she giggled, the way she moved and the way she smiled at me. I was so distracted, I couldn't concentrate. Eight ball, right corner pocket—but instead of keeping my eyes on the ball they had drifted up towards her. Our eyes met and she smiled so cutely at me—it was only after I took the shot that I realized I wasn't even looking. It missed badly, banked off that right corner and to my surprise jolted across the table and into the left pocket. I had lost. It was the first time I had lost. I almost cried._

_But it was okay. She told me that if I took her out for dinner she'd forget about the bet. I agreed, God I agreed. I spent three years in Boston—two of them married to her. It was the longest I had ever stayed in one spot. But we grew apart, we grew apart so fucking fast! She was just too much for me, too damn beautiful, too loving, too kind. She was always worrying, always fussing over me. I didn't know how to handle it so I started to ignore her, started staying out later and coming back drunker and drunker. A year passed of neglecting her and eventually she couldn't handle it. She left me and I was relieved—God I was relieved. I left that city and I never went back._

_Life continued after that—but it seemed so hollow, almost meaningless. I grew fixated on money. Money would never judge me. It would never question my motives or why I used it the way I did, it was just simply there. It was the kind of lover I always wanted. And so I worked my way south, stuck in some places for months, others for days. Just kept moving and moving, never caring about who I hurt along the way, or why I did it. I just did it because it was something to do. _

_Then I found myself in Savannah, Georgia and I would have sworn it, Overalls, I would have sworn that it was going to just be like any other con. But then the Green Flu came and it absolutely ruined everything._

Nick talked himself hoarse, and God help him, he couldn't stop talking. He just told Ellis everything, anything that came to mind. It was like he was projecting a play by play movie of his life right before Ellis, but instead of pictures it was just words. There were no photos, no home videos, nothing like that to show the southerner; but Ellis didn't need it. Nick recalled each memory with emotion almost beyond comprehension. The memories he recalled were enough to paint a picture of misery and loneliness, of a neglected childhood and strained family bonds. Of someone that had fought so very, very hard to stay strong and in control.

But now, hours later, Nick was done speaking—his story had led him to where he had met Ellis, Rochelle and Coach in that burning building. Ellis knew the rest. There was no need to continue.

The conman sat silently, aware of how Ellis' eyes still searched him, of how the mechanic was still holding his hands… of how this was the first person—the very first person—he had ever told so much to… So many things about himself, dark things... things he wasn't proud of—he had told Ellis it all. Without any hesitation he had simply told Ellis everything. Every con, every heart he had broken, every dollar he had stolen, every lie he had told. He had told him everything.

It was judgment day. Oh, little Ellis, do be kind. With your sweet smiles, your innocent eyes and your southern tongue... judge me, but please, please, be kind.

At first Ellis didn't say anything and Nick could feel the anxiety rising in him, making his heart pound and his body tremble. But when he did finally speak, he shifted forward and Nick started. Their eyes met.

"Tha' ain't all, Nick. When I metcha ya weren't like this. Wha' happened? Did all this zombie shit goin' on make ya remember all of tha' stuff? I mean… I guess I don' really get it. Why remember this shit now? I ain't complainin' or nothin' though. I'm glad ya told me an' everythin'… I jus' don' understand why ya suddenly became so… burdened with it."

"You've seen the lists, Ellis..." Nick said softly. He tried to pull his hands away, but Ellis refused to let go. That very gesture made Nick smile slightly, appreciating how secure his hands felt in Ellis'. "You've seen the lists that they give you of the names of everyone who has perished… The lists were long. They go on for miles. When they asked me if I had family, if I wanted to look to see if I should be moved to another area, to another vessel to be with family or friends… It was the first time… the very first time since I left home that I remembered that, God, I did have a family. Once upon a time, I had had a family. I had been in love… I once had a woman I would have died for, a mother who had loved me, a little brother that had once looked up to me, and a sister that I could have told anything to... I had had it, I could have probably had more… But it was because of one person… _That one person_ that I had abandoned everything. He had taught me that no matter how well I thought I knew someone, they would never, _never_ be there for me when I needed it most."

"Nick… it ain't yer fault. Ya were jus' a kid an' kids do real stupid things sometimes. I mean, from wha' I know 'bout ya yer damn stubborn an' maybe tha' just kept ya from goin' back…" Ellis shrugged slightly, "An' ya never know… I've heard tha' the Infection's ain't bad everywhere. Tha' some places were hit harder than others. Maybe we can find 'em an' ya can like… do wha' ya gatta do ta move on, ya know? Where'd ya live 'fore Nick? Where are ya from?"

"Omaha…" Nick almost laughed at Ellis' face. The mechanic looked absolutely, positively... just utterly surprised.

"Wha'? Like… Nebraska?" Ellis' face scrunched up cutely. The corner's of Nick's mouth twitched into a full smile now.

"Yeah, Ellis. Like, Nebraska," the older man agreed gently.

"Oh… well… Okay. I mean, if ya want, we can see wha' we can do. If we can find anythin' 'bout wha' happened ta 'em."

"No, Ellis. I washed my hands of that family long ago. I haven't thought of them at all since I left… Not until I saw those lists, posted everywhere like a god damn war memorial." He laughed, but it was mirthless. "Then I had to wonder… Did they die too? Do I even care?" He sighed heavily. "I guess I do."

"Then le's look… Tamorrow, we'll go an' look tagether. Maybe tha'll ease yer mind some."

"Did it ease yours?" Nick asked quietly. He watched as Ellis' soft expression from before slowly twisted with sorrow. Nick realized, for the first time, that he had never asked Ellis what had become of his friends and family. The conman suddenly felt sick with guilt. All this time he had been consuming Ellis' time and his patience… and who knew, maybe Ellis had someone else that needed him. "What did you find, Ellis?"

"I…" Ellis struggled to find words. He bit at his lip and let out a shaking breath. "I ain't got no one anymore, Nick."

_What a coincidence, Ellis, me neither._ Nick thought the words, numbly, sadly, but he did not say them out loud.

"I jus' got you, Nick." Ellis could have very easily tagged on Rochelle and Coach's name, but something stopped him. He smiled at the older man. Nick looked a little rattled at this prospect. Ellis tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a choking noise. "I jus' got you, Nick," he said again, softer. "So, please… Ya gatta get better. 'Cause I don' wanna lose ya too."

Nick tried to pull his hands away to reach up and hold that sad face in his palms, but stubbornly Ellis still refused to let him go. And so the man settled on leaning forward and placing a firm kiss on the others cheek. Ellis didn't pull away or anything. He just stared, his eyes a little wider, a faint blush overtaking him.

"I'll do my very best," Nick assured quietly and gave Ellis' hands a little squeeze.

Nick swore that his heart was filling with something—but he wasn't quite sure with what. That void, that little empty space that he had carried with him for so long, was filling—but his heart wasn't feeling any heavier, but lighter.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you… so very much for all the kind reviews and the kind words… I feel… I feel like I don't deserve it—like I'm cheating by being so selfish with this story—but, I will take your words to heart anyways… because I need them. So I thank you, for your patience, for your understanding, for your kindness and for reading. Thank you.

At first I left Nick's past at what he said before in the last chapter… but it didn't seem like enough. Maybe that was just me being selfish, but I ended up just trying to give a small summary of what Nick said, but it ended up going on and on. Lol, yeah… sorry about that. I didn't know how to work it into a conversation so it became sort of narrative… I hope it doesn't seem messy or half-assed.

Nick always strikes me as someone that lived somewhere small, became swept up with the city life and just let it consume him and maybe lost himself in it along the way. They say us small townsfolk always look so damn lost and confused in the big cities. I say you city folk don't know how to sit back and enjoy our simplicity. So, I guess we're even.

I was very out of this when I was writing this chapter... I kind of wrote without thinking much, so if it's disorientating to read, I apologize.


	9. Chapter 9

_Where was he? He didn't remember this at all. Was this the cruise ship? Why was he in a line? Where the hell was it leading?_

_The conman stepped out of the line and stared down it—it seemed to go on forever. Everyone standing in it looked uncomfortable and dejected—like they didn't want to be here and Nick knew he didn't want to be here either. Maybe it was because had never been one to follow the rules that he found himself slipping out of the line and into the first door he saw._

_The door opened into a small room and he found he was not alone. He jolted back, embarrassed, and tried to find the doorknob. But there was no longer a door. He found this puzzling, but did not question it._

_His gaze returned back to the center of the room. Only the bright lamp over the hard iron table in the middle of the room kept his eyes from wandering into the darkness surrounding it. Where else could he look?_

_There was a child standing by the table—a child he didn't recognize. The boy was staring at the body bag lying so stiffly on that iron table. The child's face was worried, very, very worried. He looked up—not at Nick—but at another person. All Nick could see was the doctor's legs. The rest of him was covered in the darkness._

"_Go on," the doctor said. His clipboard came out—reflecting the light. The pen's tip rested on the paper, tapping impatiently. "Hurry up."_

_The boy let in a shaking breath and slowly unzipped the body bag—and when he did he began to cry, hard. The corpse was of a woman—bloated and disfigured. Her eyes and mouth—for some reason—had been sewn shut. The boy seemed to recognize her. Strangely, Nick knew it was the kids mother._

_The little boy began to cry harder and he shook his head in denial. He grabbed the zipper, closed the body bag and then instantly opened it again as though that very gesture would somehow make everything better. _

_Instead, when he opened it there was a man. Once again, Nick did not recognize the person, but the way the boy reacted—how he threw back his head and let out a wail of despair let Nick know that this child knew who this was too. _

_The boy seemed desperate to deny what it was he saw. Again, he zipped the body bag closed and opened it again. He did it several more times and each time someone new lay rotting and festering underneath. The boy cried each time. _

_Nick could see that the boy's blue eyes, innocent, innocent blue eyes had turned red from crying. Nick couldn't imagine how awful it must feel to witness the death of all your loved ones while being so terribly alone. All the while, those blue eyes just turned redder and redder as more tears came._

_But then Nick started suddenly with realization. He knew that boy! He knew who that was!_

"_Ellis!" Nick screamed. The boy looked up, but as he did, as he noticed Nick for the first time, he suddenly began to scream—this time in pain. "Ellis!" Nick yelled again, startled. He sprinted forward, but no matter how fast he ran he wasn't getting any closer._

_Before his eyes the boy began to wither and melt. His face bubbled and hissed and skin fell away from his bones. Ellis screamed and screamed, "You did this! You did this, Nick! You did this!"_

_No, I swear! I didn't! I didn't do it, Ellis! I swear!_

"_But you did, you did! You let me suffer and suffer and you just watched! You wallowed in your self-pity while I suffered! It's not fair! It's not fair! Why do I always have to be the one smiling? I have no more reasons to smile! I can't be there for you! I can't! I can't! I can't! Why are you so selfish? Why are you so god damn selfish! Look what you're doing to me! LOOK! LOOK AT ME!"_

_I'M SORRY, ELLIS! I'M SORRY, I'M—_

His eyes opened instantly and he let in a rushed breath of air that was more suffocating than relieving. It took him several disorienting minutes to get his bearings.

He was in the room—Ellis was still sound asleep in the other bed. He wasn't screaming or crying… or dying. Ellis was just sleeping, unbeknownst of how his dream-self had just chastised him so mercilessly. Nick felt his heart squeeze painfully.

The man let out a shuddering breath and sat up. He ran his hands over his face, trying hard to shake the terrible image away. That innocent child—that one that Nick knew had existed when he had first met Ellis had died. How had he not noticed? How had he missed it? How had he mistaken those looks for innocent smiles? No one could have gotten out of this damn Infection unscathed. And here he had been, absolutely squirming with rage at the thought that Ellis was so unbothered by the losses. God, he had never asked. He had only assumed!

Quaking still, he slid his legs over the side of the bed. He needed to get out of here... He needed to get out, needed to clear his head. He glanced at the clock—4:39 am. He felt his throat tighten and frustrated tears blurred his vision.

God damn it. It was going to be a long day, wasn't it?

* * *

Ellis yawned loudly, stretching his arms over his head and arching his back. He relaxed again, arms crossed above his head, blinking sleepily up at the ceiling. Then he glanced over—completely expecting the other man to be still sleeping in the other bed. Instead, he saw that it was empty.

Ellis panicked.

The mechanic shot to his feet but his legs twisted in the blanket and he toppled over the side of the bed and face planted hard on the floor. He let out a grunt, kicking at the bedding to free himself. He finally untangled himself and got to his feet. He rubbed at his aching jaw and pushed open the empty bathroom door. He flicked on the light and glanced around, just to be sure. Okay, not in there…

"Nick? Nick are ya in here?" He knew the conman wasn't. Ellis felt a jolt of terror run down his limbs and his knees almost buckled under the shiver. Where'd he go? Why did he leave? Why didn't he say anything!

Shaking the young man pulled on his shoes—not at all caring that he was still wearing his pajamas. He barely remembered to grab his key before he sprinted out of the room.

He ran and ran, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He asked several people if they had seen Nick and most of them looked at him as though _he_ were crazy. But as he ran further and further into the ship—he suddenly became very aware of the melody riding on the air.

The southerner moved into the ballroom.

Playing away as though he hadn't the faintest idea of how worried he had made Ellis, was Nick. In fact, he probably hadn't a clue. The song, to Ellis' surprise, was the first song Ellis had ever heard the man play.

Ellis stood there, hands hanging limply at his sides watching the other play, admiring him—everything about him and the way he played. And damn it—Ellis wasn't even mad anymore. A small smile actually managed to find his lips.

As he approached, Nick glanced up to him. The music shuddered in the melody and then went still. The conman looked away, looking guilty—like he had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

"Hey… Nick, man, why'd ya leave? Ya scared the hell outta me."

"Sorry."

"Jus' make sure ya don' do tha' again. Leave a note or somethin', man."

"If I had, would you have even looked?" Ah, smart-ass conman, I knew you were still in there! Ellis laughed, half in embarrassment, half in relief. Nick smirked slightly, but still did not meet his gaze.

"Well… uh, ya wanna go an' eat or somethin'? Then we can… like, do wha' we talked 'bout doin', ya know? The whole," Ellis raised his hands up and waved them slightly, making a face that showed he didn't quite know how to word it, "issue… we talked 'bout?"

"Sure." Nick picked himself off the piano bench and let out a little sigh. "Ellis?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Like I said, jus' don' go runnin' off like tha' again."

"No, I mean… for everything. I'm sorry." The man absent-mindedly pressed a few keys on the piano as he stood before it, head hanging low. "You shouldn't have had to take care of me like this. I'm sorry."

"Man, two apologizes in one breath?" Ellis whistled lowly. "Thas gatta be a record!" The other looked at him, annoyed, but Ellis only grinned. "I already told ya, Nick, thas wha' friends are for. I ain't gonna walk away 'cause ya ain't feelin' right. I'm gonna help ya out, 'cause thas when we need friends the most. I ain't gonna go no where."

"What happens when I get better?" Nick asked—he sounded worried.

Ellis blinked. "Huh? Wha' da ya mean?" Nick turned to face the other fully and Ellis became very aware of how much taller the older man was. Ellis felt a blush warming his face, but he wasn't really sure why. He swallowed, diverting his eyes."I ain't goin' no where. We're friends. Accept it, man. Yer stuck with me." His eyes slowly returned and Nick was staring at him intensely.

"Forever?"

Ellis tilted his head slightly, searching those worried green eyes. "Yeah, Nick. Forever."

Nick smiled—and Ellis swore, for the first time it was a _real_ smile. Not a smirk, but a _smile_.

Ellis felt his heart swell.

* * *

**A/N:** Why I decided to write this without drinking any coffee, I'll never know. I'm sure my lack of direction shows, but, I swear, I'm trying to get it somewhere.

I was feeling overly sappy near the end, but, meh, ya do whatcha gatta do.

I'll admit. I cheated with Nick's dream. It was a dream I had a few nights ago and it just begged to be a part of this story. I hope it made sense.

Thank you for reading and for leaving such kind comments. I really appreciate it.


	10. Chapter 10

After they ate, Nick insisted that they return to their room so they could dress for the day. Ellis seemed unwilling at first, but eventually he had given in. Honestly though, Ellis only resisted because he didn't want to give Nick any reason to suddenly get cold feet. Nick needed to stifle this vicious guilt he had been destroying himself with. It was consuming him. It had to end; Ellis was determined.

And dressed now they stood side by side in an enormous room that was plastered with pages and pages and pages of names. On one wall was titled in big clear lettering; _New Orleans Evac. __Survivors__: _**Vessel One**—underneath it spelt hundreds of names—maybe a couple thousand or more—**Vessel Two**—the same, and a third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, all the way through twenty-six. The last four ships had no names underneath it.

The names under Vessel Fourteen—their ship—were all handwritten. Each name had its own distinct curve and flow. Behind each name was a Survivor. It was oddly comforting, but at the same time, Nick knew that he would find only three names that he recognized.

His eyes drifted over the printed names under the other vessels. He stared in numbing wonder, his mouth dropping opened slightly. He would have never thought that there would be this many Survivors… But then again, how many people did these ships hold? Two, maybe three thousand? If you thought about, really thought hard about it, it just wasn't enough. There just wasn't enough names…

On the opposite side of the room written in the same bold lettering read _Region 3, South Atlantic: __Confirmed Deceased_. There were so many names that there were pages stapled on top of pages as more confirmed deaths pooled in from other sources. Each name was dated and located. There were so many names… So many fucking names…

Nick wondered if he had killed any of these people. Though it was more likely that all those he had killed were still nameless corpses piled on the streets, rotting away. Despite the length of the deceased list, there were probably twice as many names and faces lost along the way that would never be identified. That thought was not a good one.

They moved past the lists—having to squeeze by several worried-eyed Survivors searching the walls desperately. There was a row of tables and behind the tables dozens of disheveled and tired looking military personnel typed away madly at their computers. As the two approached they were waved over by one woman who looked as though she had been typing names in endlessly for days.

"The next updated list will be posted Wednesday at 10:00 am." She nodded briskly, obviously attempting to dismiss them.

"I—uh, actually," Nick fumbled for the words…

Ellis found the words for him. "Actually, ma'am, we're hopin' ya can find some information on the other evac stations. My friend ain't from here, an' so his family ain't gonna be on the New Orleans stuff, probably not even in the southern evac areas. Have ya got any information for like—the Mid-west? Around Nebraska… Omaha specifically."

The woman stopped typing and removed the headset covering one ear. She gave them a long look. "Yeah," she said finally. "I can do that." She stood. "Do you want deceased or living?"

"Both," Ellis said.

"You're going to have to help me carry them then."

"Sure." The southerner moved in between two tables as Nick stared after him. He found himself unable to move. The woman led Ellis into a room that Nick couldn't see into, and when they returned several minutes later they were carrying a stacks of papers that had to equal somewhere between four and five thousands pages.

"Hey man, take those from her, wontcha?" Ellis squeezed in between the tables and after he did Nick moved closer to take the stack away from the woman. "Thanks kindly, ma'am."

"Yeah, just return those when you're done."

"Come on, Nick." Arms straining under the heavy stack, the young man lead the other to an empty bench just outside. He huffed as he set them next to himself. "Geez man… Uh, whas yer last name? I think they're in alphabetical order…" He flipped through a few pages, "Yeah, it looks like it. Looks like I got—uh… the Survivors." He looked up hesitantly. "Do… Do ya wanna switch?"

"No." Nick sat beside the mechanic and set the huge stack by his feet. "It's fine. Look for Gates… and Welsh." Papers shuffled as the two moved handfuls and handfuls of papers aside as they tried to find the G's. Ellis found them first.

"All right, Gates…. Gates… Gates… Okay, here, I found a bunch of 'em. Wha' names am I lookin' for? Eric? An'…" He glanced over at the other man. Nick had stopped shuffling through the names. Instead, he was chewing at his lip, four or five pages still clutching in his hands as he stared somewhere off to his left. There were tears in his eyes. "Hey, man… Are ya all right?"

"Jesus, Ellis… The first time I go looking to find my family it's in a god damn death list. How fucked up is that?"

Ellis rubbed his thumbs over the paper, letting out a suppressed sigh. "Yeah, man, it's kinda weird an' all… But… Ya gatta look. If ya don', then yer gunna jus' keep beatin' yerself up over it."

"Yeah… I know. I know you're right." Nick hung his head and sighed harshly. "This is just so fucked up. So fucked up." The man struggled for a moment until he lifted his head up. "Eric and Nancy." He hesitated. "And Neil. Emily would be under Welsh."

It was oddly silent except for the flipping of pages. Nick's eyes searched the names numbly.

_Gates, Aaron—Madison, WI, 10/11/2009._

_Gates, Alexander—Bismarck, ND, 10/28/2009._

_Gates, Andrew—Fargo, ND, 10/12/2009._

_Gates, Anthony—Minneapolis, MN, 10/29/2009._

_Gates, Amber—Selby, SD, 10/21/2009._

_Gates, Amy—Omaha, NE, 10/17/2009._

_Gates, Brandon—Chicago, IL, 11/1/2009._

_Gates, Brian—Mission, SD, 10/19/2009._

_Gates, Brianna, Cherokee, IA, 10/7/2009._

_Gates, Bryce—Lincoln, NE, 10/17/2009._

_Gates, Caleb—Madison, WI, 10/11/2009._

_Gates, Christopher—Thief River Falls, MN, 10/24/2009._

_Gates, Christopher—Sioux Falls, WI, 10/11/2009._

_Gates, Cody—Des Moines, IA, 10/8/2009._

_Gates, Crystal—Jamestown, ND, 10/11/2009._

_Gates, David—Lincoln, NE, 10/13/2009._

_Gates, Daniel—St. Paul, MN, 10/27/2009._

He took in a shuddering breath.

_Gates, Edgar—Selby, SD, 10/1/2009_

_Gates, Edward—Duluth, MN, 10/25/2009._

_Gates, Edwin—Eua Claire, WI, 10/12/2009._

_Gates, Ethan—Fairfield, IA, 10/19/2009._

_Gates, Fiona_—F's? No more E's? Nick felt his heart flutter with hope. Jesus… maybe Ellis would find something? He flipped through the pages—past the F's, the G's, H's, I's until he find the N's.

His heart sank. It was the first name registered.

_Gates, Nancy—Omaha, NE, 10/18/2009._

Shit.

He reached up to dig the heel of his palm in one eye, squeezing his eyes closed tightly.

God damn it, Nick. Hold it together. You're all right, man. You're okay. You knew this was going to happen. _You knew it._

He felt Ellis squeeze his shoulder and the older man let out a startled breath. He forced is eyes opened and looked at the mechanic.

"You all righ' man?" Ellis said softly. He looked concerned.

"Yeah… Yeah, I'm okay…" Nick cleared his throat, trying hard to appear indifferent with his findings. But when he spoke, his voice quivered, "I found my mother, so stop looking for her."

Ellis swallowed thickly, the papers, for now, forgotten in his hand. "I'm really sorry, Nick."

"Yeah…" Nick's breath shuddered in and out.

Ellis opened his mouth to speak, but then he stopped. He sighed quietly. "I di'n't find no Eric's or Neil's…" he trailed off. He set aside the rest of the G's and began to sift through the stack. The W's were buried under thousands of names—comforting to say the least, but still in the way. "Are ya gonna keep lookin', Nick?"

"Yeah, no. No, I think I'm done." The conman slowly placed the papers back in place. "Yeah, I'm done… I don't want to know… I don't to know anymore."

"Are ya sure?"

Nick hesitated. No, he wasn't. He wasn't at all sure. Ellis glanced at him as he pulled a stack of W's into his hands. "Do ya wanna look with me?" He shuffled closer, pressing their bodies together. Nick half-heartedly glanced over as Ellis ran his finger down the name of Survivors. Slowly, Nick's eyes joined Ellis'. "Nick…" Ellis breathed out, tapping at the name insistently. Nick saw it too.

_Welsh, Emily—E.S. Mid-West, #16. North Atlantic—Vessel 3._

"You're kidding…" Nick found himself laughing with relief. He felt like crying. "You're fucking kidding me…"

"Nah, man. This is the real shit." They both sat and stared at the name. "So… wha' do ya wanna do 'bout it? Do ya wanna… ya know, get moved there?"

"…No." Nick let out a slow breath. "She's alive and… You know, that's all I can ask for."

"Are ya sure? I mean, I think tha' every week they got this system down where they'll move 'round Survivors an' stuff. If ya get on the waitin' list, they'll probably—"

"—Ellis." The conman stared hard at the younger man. Ellis blinked at him. "I'm not going anywhere. All right? I'm staying here…" His lips pressed into a thin line. "You almost sound like you're trying to get rid of me."

"Huh? Wha'? Hell no, Nick. I ain't tryin' ta do tha' at all!"

"Good. Then this conversation's over." He reached down to pick up the pile of papers at his feet and then stood. Without another word Nick returned into the room.

Ellis was left to blink worriedly after him, wondering if he had said something wrong.

* * *

**A/N:** I figured the year by the Midnight Rider's website with Jake's blogging dates. I would have sworn it was in like '07 or '08 but I guess not lol

Honestly, I had to think really hard on how to make the survivor/confirmed death lists make sense… If it doesn't, I'm sorry. Work with me. I'm sure there's massive flaws in the system I put up, but hopefully it's not too obvious. Like I made some shit up that makes no sense lol

I KNOW how I want this to end, I'm just working on getting it there. So, hang on, my friends. I know it was a nightmare to read this chapter.

NOTE: Reposted this chapter since for some reason it stopped showing up for me and said it didn't exist when I typed it in o_O


	11. Chapter 11

After they had—well, right after Nick had returned the papers he had taken off without a word. Ellis found himself messily trying to play catch up.

Being a gentleman Ellis had to help the lady return the papers back where they had been taken from. Then he had to thank her profusely, _and then_ he had to try and catch up with his friend.

Nick hadn't made it very easy. He hadn't made any inkling to where he was heading and Ellis would have _sworn_ it was the ballroom. But once passing it and poking his head in and seeing only groups of mingling people he didn't recognize, Ellis realized he didn't really have any idea where Nick had gone.

So, instead, the mechanic had sprinted off towards the only other place he could think of. It was by chance, really, that he almost ran into the other in a cross-section back towards their room. Nick didn't even look at him when they almost collided. He just kept marching forward with an intense scowl on his face. Ellis was, to say the least, very concerned now.

"Hey, Nick?" Ellis called, shoving himself away from the wall he had flailed and fallen into to avoid the other. The other didn't reply. He continued walking down the hallway, arms stiff at his sides. "Nick? Hey! Come on, man, whas wrong? Did I say somethin' ta piss ya off?" Still no answer. Frustrated Ellis reached out for him but Nick slapped his hand away even before it came close to touching him. Ellis whimpered in pain, rubbing his assaulted hand tenderly, tears in his eyes.

Nick came to a stop at the their door, grabbed the knob and tried it. Of course, it didn't open. He looked angry and surprised anyways. He scowled and looked at the mechanic. "Open it," he snarled.

Ellis fumbled for the key, tears still in his eyes, before doing as asked. Nick didn't even let him get the key out of the lock before he pushed the other aside and shoved the door opened. Ellis juggled with the card and followed clumsily.

"Hey, Nick. Wha' the hell's the matter? Wha'd I do? Nick—HEY!" The older man slammed the bathroom door shut, ending their one-sided conversation instantly. Ellis stood, mouth working, looking extremely frustrated. He refused to be blown off like this! He moved to the door and leaned close. "Nick? Hey? Wha' the hell's the matter with ya?" He pressed his ear against the door—he could hear that the conman was knocking things over inside. What the hell? "Nick? Hey, Nick, open the door up, man—"

On the other side, Nick sucked in a strangled breath, turned towards the door and kicked it hard. He heard Ellis swear loudly as the noise echoed through his ear painfully. For several more minutes he heard Ellis cussing loudly—but it was too muffled for Nick to understand since the mechanic had moved to the safety of the other side of the room. At least the kid had learned his lesson and wasn't eavesdropping anymore.

Finally, he heard Ellis voice more clearly as he moved beside the door again. He sounded hurt and confused, "I'm goin' fer a walk, Nick. I'll be back in like half an hour. An' when I get back, we _are_ talkin'. Got it, man?"

Nick heard the door shut and when he was sure he was alone he let himself break down.

God damn it. God damn it. God _fucking_ damn it!

He slid down the wall, hands coming up to cover his face. His sobs rocked his body violently. Fuck. Why'd he go and have to send Ellis away? The last thing he wanted was to be alone. Shit. Maybe it was because of that dream he had had—that dream that had reminded him that, shit, Ellis had issues he had to deal with too and constantly overwhelming him with his own problems wasn't going to help the kid get over his.

Jesus. Christ. This was a fucking nightmare. He needed to get his emotions in check and do it quick, because he was growing sick and tired of being so god damn lame and emotional. It was the _last_ thing he would ever, ever, _ever_ become a slave to.

Ask him three months ago and he would have sworn he didn't have any feelings harbored in his hallow heart. But, shit, look at him now! All crumpled up, hugging himself and sobbing away like some little bitch at the thought of a family he had abandoned—ABANDONED—was dead, missing _and_ _alive._

You looked, man, you looked and that should have been it. That should have been the end of all this emotional shit. It should have been the end of this guilt, of this shame, this worrying, this longing… It should have just been the end of it, god damn it!

One particular sob caught painfully in his throat and it made his eyes sting. Well, Christ. Is that what he had to look forward to for the rest of his life? This bullshit? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.

Nick banged the back of his head against the wall several times, hoping that the sharp pounding would knock some sense into him. Instead, he found himself with a throbbing headache that only hurt worse with his crying. Well, great job there, Nicholas.

Not ten minutes later he heard the door to their room open and close. A minute later a quick rap on the bathroom door followed.

"Nick? Hey? Are ya still in there? Are ya okay…? Do ya wanna talk…?"

God damn it, Ellis… Nick sighed harshly and shifted his legs out in front of him. He rested his head back against the wall, trying to take in deep even breaths, trying hard to calm himself. But all he could do was shake.

What is it you want, huh? What do you want? The kid's asked you a million times now and you've never answered him. What the fuck do you want?

Ellis slid against the wall beside the door, sitting himself stubbornly beside it. "Nick, I ain't goin' no where 'til ya come out an' talk ta me… Besides…" The mechanic twirled a pack of unopened cigarettes in his hands. The wrap around it crinkled loudly, almost teasingly. The young man twisted the corners between his thumbs, making it spin. "I got a present fer ya, Nick. If ya come out ya can have it."

Lure me out with a present? Nick laughed out loud."What am I five, Ellis?" he called back, unable to hide his amusement despite his tears. He heard Ellis laugh and Nick couldn't help but snort and smirk.

"Ya sure are actin' it righ' now," came the muffled reply. There was a pause. "I mean, the not tellin' me whas wrong. If ya gatta cry, ya gatta cry. There ain't no shame in tha'. But pushin' me away is only gonna make me worry more. 'Kay? Now get out here so I can give ya this."

Nick found himself obeying. He opened the door and looked down to his left to see the mechanic sitting there, twirling a pack of cigarettes very nonchalantly in his hands. Nick let out a rumbling laugh.

"What the fuck, Overalls. Are you serious?"

Ellis grinned slowly up at him then lifted the pack up for him. "I 'member ya sayin' ya smoked an' how much ya missed it."

"Where the fuck did you find this?" Nick asked, taking it. He didn't even care it wasn't his normal brand. Right now he could just use a hit of nicotine, fuck the name behind it. He tore off the wrapping and flicked open the box.

"I get 'round," Ellis replied mysteriously. He watched as the other move across the room to the nightstand between their beds. The older man opened the first drawer—nothing, then the second, nothing again. Nick frowned. "Light?" Ellis guessed.

"Yeah."

Ellis whistled and Nick finally turned around. The mechanic tossed him a half-used pack of matches. Nick caught it by default—it smacked him in the chest and he happened to react instantly, pinning it to his body. Ellis chuckled at him.

Smirking slightly, Nick pulled a cigarette out and placed it between his lips, but just before he lit the match he looked to the smiling southerner. "Do you care if I smoke in here?"

"Hmm?" Ellis replied in non-comment.

"If I smoke in the room. Do you care?"

"If ya gatta smoke, ya gatta smoke."

"God damn it, Ellis. Don't be such a girl and answer. Do you care if I smoke in here or not?"

Ellis shrugged, but when his lips twitched slightly into a frown it gave him away. Nick moved forward and reached down for the other. Before Ellis even knew what was going on, Nick had pulled him to his feet.

"All right, kid. Let's go for a walk."

"Ah, okay—sure." Ellis was not even the least bit concerned that Nick held his hand so firmly as he marched them down the residential halls towards the open deck.

Nick nibbled on the tip of the unlit cigarette as they moved and when he talked he pushed it to the corner of his lips. "So, kid, do you think I can make these cigarettes last long enough to see the sunset? It's gatta be—what, a little past four?"

"Uh—" Ellis quickened his pace considerably to avoid being dragged by the older man. "Somethin' like tha'…" He hesitated. "Nick?" he ventured softly.

"Yeah?"

"Ya gonna tell me whas wrong?"

Again, Nick chewed nervously at the cigarette in his mouth. "Let me smoke a few cigarettes first."

"Tha' a promise, Nick?"

The conman looked back at the other and their eyes met. Nick grinned slightly and with the cigarette pinned between his teeth Ellis found himself finding the other _extremely_ endearing. Ellis flushed intensely.

"Sure, kid. That's a promise."

* * *

**A/N:** I think I'm starting to get Nick back into his personality more, but he's still got some work—considering all the shit he's been through. I'm trying to work it back in without losing all the progress he's had with opening up… if that makes sense? (Nick's just a swear-er..ererer. Cusser? Whatever he is. And, I like to cuss too so it comes naturally to me –cough-... and I'm assuming no one's particularly offended by this… Sorry if you are…)

I'm really not sure how much longer this story will be. I can see myself ending it in a few chapters, but at the same time I'm not sure if I'm willing to let it go yet. I think I can make it work by making it much longer—considering, I originally was going to end this back on Chapter 4 with Nick throttling the life out of Ellis (lol c_c) but for some reason just kept writing. I'm sort of okay with it since, for now, the progression of this story is still coming relatively easy for me. I promise to try and not drag this out and make this meaningless/repetitive themes to read, but, as I said, I'm not sure if I'm willing to let it go yet and so it may continue for x amount of chapters. =/

Does not help that my chapters are so, so very short. Painfully short. I feel embarrassed posting them. D':

NOTE: for some reason the site is being ridiculous and not showing chapters 10+11 exist when you follow the links/open the story. I haven't the faintest idea why and I realize writing this isn't helping since no one can read it...-frustrated-


	12. Chapter 12

Nick smoked and smoked and smoke and Ellis was beginning to wonder if he was smoking that much just because he didn't want to talk, not that he missed it.

It was a little strange watching the conman smoke nonstop for a good half hour. Right before he finished one cigarette he had popped another one in the corner of his mouth, lit it and then took the older one out and flicked it overboard. Ellis almost berated him for throwing the butts into the ocean—but he decided that it was really the last thing Nick really needed to be scolded for right now.

Nick took in a long drag and then blew it out sharply. Finally, _finally_ he looked at the southerner. Ellis met his gaze immediately.

"What was your family like, Ellis?" The question surprised the mechanic and he blinked at the other in a silent stupor. Nick scratched at his jaw absently, frowning. "Not to pry or anything, kid. I was just wondering…"

"Nah, it's cool." Ellis shrugged. What to say? Where to start? He leaned his arms on the railing, crossing them and turned his azure gaze to the failing light on the horizon. "It was jus' my Ma an' I growin' up. Not sure wha' happened ta my Pa—Ma never talked much 'bout him. She was a right good lady. Always made me do my homework, kissed my scrapes an' bruises better, cooked the _best_ damn food I've ever had an'—hell, she even got me inta cars an' shit." Nick looked at him, one eyebrow raised. "I know, right? She was pretty dang cool. She always would, ya know, encourage me ta do wha' I felt was right an' never told me wha' to think or wha' ta believe. She was…" He trailed off—for the first time, really realizing he had been talking about his mother in past tense. The realization made his heart hurt.

"You all right?" Nick asked quietly.

"Yeah…" The man rubbed at his brow. "Yeah. It jus' feels weird, ya know? Thinkin' tha' everyon' ya knew ain't there no more. Like… It's hard. I've always been close ta my Ma an' my friends… Ta my whole community, really. It's jus…" He could see in the corner of his eye that Nick was staring at him, his expression, from what Ellis could tell, was soft, sympathetic. It was almost foreign on Nick's face—but Ellis wasn't complaining. "It's jus' hard."

"Yeah." Nick pressed the cigarette to his mouth again, puffed at it a few times and then let out another heavy sigh. The smoke curled into the air in front of them before dissipating into the sky. "You know, Ellis… If you ever want to talk…" Nick's voice was strained, but not with regret of what he was offering, but with the thought that his offer was ludicrous. "You can tell me anything. I'll listen." He puffed insistently at his smoke, but didn't let his eyes wander to the young man now staring intently at him. "I know I'm probably the last person on earth that seems worth confining your trust to, but I swear, Ellis,I won't fuck it up."

Ellis smiled. "I know." He elbowed the other gently and Nick seemed to forget he was trying to not look at him since he turned immediately at the touch. "Ya may not always act it—like, back when we was still tryin' ta get here an' stuff… I use ta wonder if ya really cared if any of us would die… but, ya know, ya surprised me. Tha' day when ya came back fer me—I knew tha' ya cared. 'Cause at any time ya could have jus' kept goin' an' jus' left me fer dead… but ya di'n't. Do ya remember?"

Of course he remembered. The memory was vivid. It was impossible to forget. It was the first time Nick hadn't thought about the pros and cons of turning back. He had just done it.

_Without even thinking he had just turned back._ _The second he heard Ellis' scream, the conman turned around, bursts of firing leading—tearing through Infected and sending entrails spilling from their bellies like slithering snakes. He slipped over the mess, his feet sinking into the spongy ground as he fought to move towards Ellis' pleas for help. Below him the swamp seemed to be sucking up the blood and corpses greedily, slowly, very slowly trying to consume anything that was too weak to stand. Nick refused to let it take him **or** that god damn hill billie._

_**Click. Click**__. Shit. Out of ammo. Gatta reload. He heard Ellis scream again and his eyes jerked towards the sound. There was a massive horde around the young man, grabbing, tearing at him, trying to pull him to the ground and devour him. _

_Nick fished for the ammo at his side, "RELOADING!" He released the empty clip with an instinctive slap of the heel of his palm and as he did a snarling man clawed at his arms. Nick slammed the butt of his weapon into the Infected's mouth. Its teeth shattered with gore and it gurgled nosily before collapsing. The swamp seemed to come alive, sucking the wounded Infected into the mud and water as it mewled pathetically. _

_**Click. Snap.**__ Reloaded. Nick fired into the horde tearing at the southerner and they exploded in a sea of crimson and smoke. Ellis was down, blood slicking his arms and face. He looked near unconsciousness. Shit._

_When Nick reached the hick he jerked at the others collar and then backhanded him hard across the face. Ellis' eyes fluttered opened and he let in a startled breath. _

"_Nick…? Nick?" he slurred._

"_Yeah, it's me. Get up. Come, on your feet." He slung the gun over his shoulder only long enough to grab the front of the others shirt and jerked him upright. Ellis was grinning slightly—looking absolutely ridiculous seeing as he was covered in blood. "Can you walk? Are you okay?"_

"_Yeah, yeah… I'm good." Ellis fumbled for his weapon. The blood wet and sticky on his fingers made him twice as clumsy. _

_Nick glanced about. For now there were only wounded Infected withering around on the ground. Rochelle and Coach could be heard in the distance. Damn it. The kid would have a hell of a time catching up. Nick looked back at the other—Ellis looked like he was about to pass out from his injuries. Damn it._

"_Hey, now, stay with it." Nick smacked the other upside the head again and Ellis shook himself awake. "Here, take this." Without thinking, the conman grabbed at the adrenaline shot in his pocket and stuffed it into the hick's hand._

"_Nah, Nick, thas yours… Thas—"_

"_Take it, asshole. You can't keep up without it and I'm **not** carrying you."_

_Underneath all that gore Ellis was smiling his thanks. He popped off the casing and then stabbed the needle right into his thigh—_

"Tha' was the first time ya ever gave me anythin', Nick."

"Yeah? Well… You guys pissed me off a lot. I didn't enjoy sharing my rations with you idiots." Ellis snorted with laughter. Nick joined him after a moment. "What? It's true. You three were always fucking running off on your own and getting yourselves all banged up and shit. It pissed me off."

"_Nick_. We was lookin' fer supplies," Ellis said matter-of-factly.

"Fff, whatever." Nick shook his head, smirking in between the drags of his cigarette. "In all seriousness, though, Ellis… I mean it. If you need to talk my ear off, you go ahead and do it."

"Wha' ya wan' me ta talk now?" Ellis grinned, "I was sure ya had enough of tha'? Ya were always tellin' me ta shut up."

Nick snorted, "Yeah, because no one cared about your stupid… Keith… stories…" He trailed off, noticing how Ellis slouched slightly, frowning. "…But, uh… You can rant now if you want."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I ain't feelin' much like rantin' now, Nick. I'm more of wantin' ta hear wha' _you_ gatta say. Ya ain't gettin' out of it, Nick. So fess up."

Damn.

Nick worked another cigarette out of his pack—what was that now? Ten? Eleven? Jesus. He lit it and pressed it between his lips before pulling the old one out and tossing it.

"I'm just sorry about all this, Ellis. I'm sorry for consuming your time and your patience and shit. I'm just sorry for that and—_just wait._ Let me talk, all right? Just listen." He took in a shaking breath. "I'm grateful that you didn't give up on me, Ellis. I am. I really fucking am. Because without you, I have no doubt I'd have fucked myself over by now. God knows the military's not fucking around with the insane right now. If you weren't there I'd probably be locked up. So, thank you. I mean it." Ellis nodded once. "But I'm also sorry. Okay? I'm sorry it had to be you. I'm sorry that you didn't get the chance to grieve for your family and friends. I'm sorry. I am. I didn't mean to latch onto you like this. I mean," he took in a long draw of his cigarette that made his lungs ache, "You didn't have to. But you did. Shit. You're probably an idiot for it, but fuck... thank you." He rolled the burning cigarette between his thumb and pointer finger obsessively. He sighed. "Okay… I'm done. You can talk again."

"Ya di'n't need ta apologize, Nick."

"Bullshit I didn't."

"Nah, ya di'n't… but I'll forgive ya anyways if thas wha' ya need ta hear. I ain't mad or nothin' 'bout it, so don' worry."

They stood quietly staring out at the sunset. It was, as usual, setting over New Orleans. The sky was gold, absolutely golden and beautiful. Everything about it was just stunning. The way it melted from that gold to violet then red was lovely, perfect. Even the clouds were painted deep lavender and they accented the splashes of color magnificently.

"You were right," Nick said suddenly.

"Huh?" Ellis blinked at the other. "'Bout wha'?"

"The sunsets. They're fucking awesome."

Ellis laughed. "I know, righ'?"

They watched the sun fall all the way below the horizon and stayed far past the first signs of stars. The sky had melted from a brilliance of colors to dark black velvet littered with diamonds. It wasn't any less beautiful. In fact, they found themselves tilting their heads and grinning, pointing out constellations to each other and laughing at old sweet memories. At some point Nick had run out of cigarettes and he hadn't even noticed. This was the first time, the very first time for as long as he could remember, that he had felt so perfectly, utterly and absolutely at peace. How strange.

But now, it was late. There were only a few stragglers left on the deck besides themselves, indicating that the hour was late.

"Ya think we should get ta bed, Nick?" Ellis suggested quietly. A small yawn escaped him and he blinked and cleared his throat to try and fight off the sleep in case Nick declined. Instead, the conman nodded. Yeah, it was late.

When they returned to their room they changed into their night clothes. Ellis hoped into bed immediately, pulling the covers over himself and snuggling into them. Nick, however, stood at the end of the beds, staring hard at the empty one on the left.

"Hey? Nick?"

"Huh?"

"We can share, ya know. I don' mind. These beds are so big tha' it kinda makes ya feel lonely when no one else is sharin' with ya."

Nick's lips pressed together and he blinked slowly at the other. His eyes had adjusted to the low light and he could tell that Ellis was being sincere with his offer. He really looked like he hoped Nick would agree.

"All right, yeah. Okay. Sure." Was this some made-up excuse to stay close? Nick decided he didn't care. He climbed into the bed with the other and Ellis scooted over so the conman could adjust himself comfortably.

"Hey… Nick?"

"Yeah?"

Ellis inched closer and Nick could feel the other's body heat radiating against his, especially when he came close enough that he was practically crushed up beside him. "It's… kinda cold."

"Okay…" Interesting…

Ellis seemed to gauge the other for a moment until he very tentatively raised his hand up to the others shoulder and then nuzzled his face against it. To his surprise, and relief, Nick's arm snaked around him and pulled him closer.

Hearts pounding and smiles on their lips, they fell asleep together.

* * *

**A/N:** I was interrupted, seriously, at least 3 dozen times while trying to write/edit this, so if it's choppy/missing words/typo'ed to hell I am really, super sorry. T-T

The flashback I almost, almost didn't put in. But a part of me super misses writing all the blood and gore that comes along with zombie apocalypses. Booyeah.

I'm fairly certain only a handful of chapters remain. So, thank you for the kind words along the way so far. It's been so helpful and encouraging.


	13. Chapter 13

_He was lying alone in a field of gently rolling hills and white flowers. The sun was a blinding white above and the sky was gray. In fact, there was no color. Everything—things he knew should be full of color were simple grays, whites and blacks. Nick felt cold; strangely, oddly and uncomfortably cold. He shivered as he laid staring up at the dreadful sky._

_He tried to take in everything around him, tried to convince himself that everything was okay. Everything's wonderful! Everything is beautiful! There's nothing wrong! _

_But he knew differently. This world… it was cold. Dark. Miserable. He was alone. God, he was alone. And there was an emptiness in his chest that was overwhelming… so overwhelming that he wanted to cry._

_Just give into this misery, let it **consume** you, **destroy** you, **devour** you._

"_Hey?"_

_Nick started, looking to his left. Ellis was lying beside him—when had he gotten there? The mechanic was squinting up at the sky and he was smiling._

"_Sure is nice, ain't it?"_

"…" _Nick didn't reply. He didn't know what to say. Maybe Ellis couldn't see what he saw? Maybe he didn't see all this awful darkness? Maybe he just couldn't see it… but how? How can you not see this, Ellis?_

_With startling realization, Nick noticed Ellis was the only thing full of color. Even he himself was colorless. Nick raised his gray hands into the air above him and stared, horrified. He was almost transparent with the dead sky. Oh, God… oh, God…_

_Ellis looked at him but then he frowned and propped himself up on one arm. Nick sat up too. _

_"Nick, man… Yer heart… where'd it go?"_

_Nick reached up with a panic to touch at his chest and when he looked down he found that a perfect child-like rendition of a simple heart was forming a hole in his chest. He blinked at it, pawing at the oddness. He struggled to find words._

_Ellis got to his feet. "Don' worry, man. We'll find it. I'll help ya." Nick found himself taking the mans hands and the other pulled him to his feet. Ellis didn't let go. The southerner tugged him along as he marched through the grass and flowers with a blissful grin. "It can't be too far though, man, so don' worry. It's out here. We'll find it."_

_You would think that, wouldn't you? Nick mused quietly. But he was not mad that Ellis was so naïve, just grateful. _

_Please, lovely light, keep me alive. Keep holding on tight and I'll follow. _

_Together they searched and searched through the endless black and white field and the longer they looked, the more desperate Nick found himself becoming. He clutched Ellis' hand in his, afraid that the kid would suddenly abandon him. But Ellis never did. He held his hand faithfully, never once trying to let go. For the life of him, Nick didn't know why, but he never voiced his confusion. He didn't dare to._

_Please, please just keep shining. Please don't let go. Please hold on tight, please don't let me disappear. I need you, I need you. I want you, God I want you here with me._

_Suddenly Ellis stopped and when he turned around he held a perfectly shaped heart in his free hand. He beamed up at the conman and lifted it high for the other to see too. Nick gaped at it._

"_Well, damn! Here it is, Nick. Looks like ya just misplaced it. But don' worry, I gatcha covered." _

_The southerner moved forward and pressed the heart to Nick's chest. When he did Nick felt an intense surge of warmth and happiness fill him. Color exploded everywhere and Nick could see that the flowers weren't white, but red, blue, purple, orange—every beautiful color he could have possibly imagined. The grass was green and the sky was blue, the sun was bright and yellow. A breeze seemed to pick up and it was gentle and warm. Ellis stood grinning proudly before him._

"_Thank you, Ellis. Thank you," Nick whispered. He reached up and took that smiling face between his palms. "God, I love you. I love you, I love you."_

"_I know, Nick," Ellis said quietly, moving closer, "I'd do anythin' fer you, 'cause I lov—"_

Agh… Awake? Shit. Nick closed his eyes tightly, trying desperately to return to the dream that had made him feel so wonderfully warm and fuzzy inside.

After lying there for several minutes trying to will himself to sleep he realized that the object of his euphoria was pressed into his arms. Nick flushed crimson.

At some point in the night their innocent closeness had turned into some intense spooning. Ellis' body was pressed firmly into Nick's front and the conman was _very_ aware of every curve of the man's body. Nick had—at one point or another, pulled Ellis obsessively against him. It was a wonder how the poor kid could even breathe. But if Ellis was uncomfortable, it wasn't obvious. He was sound asleep.

Now—wait… wait one second. Nick shook his head slightly, suddenly remembering _exactly_ what it was he had dreamt. What the hell was that? Some… some sort of… of… unconscious longing? Whoa, whoa, hold on… one second… That's impossible. Absolutely _impossible_. Why would he—how could he—from Ellis? What? Really?

Nick almost shook the southerner awake just to clarify the thoughts jumbling in his mind, but instead he did what he had always done for as long as he could remember—he retreated.

God help him, he untangled himself from the others body and somehow managed to not awaken him in the process. He half hoped that he would have. He half hoped that Ellis would question where in the hell he was going, but the man stayed fast asleep. Damn.

As he quietly pulled on his clothes and shoes he glanced at the clock. He was surprised—9:23 am. At least it wasn't 4 am. His gaze returned to the sleeping mechanic. Ellis was sprawled on his back now and his foot had caught the blankets, pulling most of them down far past his thighs. His nightshirt was caught under his hand and most of his stomach was exposed enticingly, teasingly.

Nick watched the man sleep for several antagonizing minutes. God, how he wanted to crush those lips against his, smother him with kisses and touch him. Just kiss him and love him, hold him tight and—Nick shook himself back to reality.

Nick moved back to Ellis' side and very gently tugged the blankets back up to his chest. Then, feeling terrible for it (but not able to stop himself) he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the corner of the sleeping man's lips. Ellis stirred slightly, rolling onto his side towards Nick and pawed at the empty space beside him. He pulled the blankets into his arms and clung to them, face nuzzling into them. Nick smiled.

Adorable little bastard.

Again he turned to leave, but paused. He moved to the nightstand, picked up a pen and scribbled in his fancy, but messy handwriting;

_Ellis,_

_Out wandering. If you want me, come find me._

_Nick_

It was fifteen minutes later that the conman found himself wandering aimlessly on the ships deck. His first instinct had been to return to the ballroom—but after standing in the doorway staring at the piano—he had felt almost like it was mocking him. _That's right, Nicholas, you'll always come back to me because you can't explain those feelings you have with words. That's right, you always do._

Well, fuck you, that's not true.

So, instead of giving in he had worked his way outside.

The sun had long ago risen high above and the sky was cloudy. It seemed likely a storm was on its way. For a fleeting moment Nick found himself feeling, hearing, tasting those storms back in Mississippi. God, how the rain had just kept coming and coming

_and coming. Jesus fucking Christ. Would it ever end? The man scowled up at Heavens. He let out a string of curses all aimed at a God he believed was either one cruel mother fucker or a non-existent fear inducing fairy-tale meant to scare little kids and weak-minded adults into playing nicely. Either way, he got his swear on._

"_Whoa, man. Whas the matter?" Ellis asked._

"_The rain. That's what. Oh, and the zombies. Don't let me forget about them."_

_Ellis shrugged good-naturedly. "It ain't so bad. It's jus' a little rain."_

"_Just a little," Nick reeled back,"—just a little rain? Are you fucking kidding me? I've seen less water in the fucking Atlantic."_

"_Now, __**tha'**__, Nick, ain't true," Ellis replied instantly. _

"_Oh yeah? Sure 'bout that, Overalls?" Nick asked sarcastically. They ducked under a tree as a heavy wind suddenly blinded them. Ellis moved closer to him and their shoulders touched. Nick glared at the other, annoyed that he was invading his personal space. Ellis, however, seemed not to notice. He was trying to keep a watchful eye out for Infected, but it was impossible in the rain. Even so, the hick kept squinting out into it. His intensity made Nick laugh. "I thought you were use to all this shit, Ellis?"_

"_Well, sure. Georgia—well, Mississippi wherever-we-are ain't always rainy an' shit. But ya know, it ain't so bad. My Ma always told me tha' it's the rain tha' makes everythin' beautiful in the mornin', an' so ya gatta jus' respect it an' ya know, accept it, 'cause it ain't goin' no where and it's really gonna end up makin' ya smile at the end of the day 'cause everyon', an' I do mean everyon' Nick, needs the rain—" As he talked, no __**ranted**__, the kid was soaking wet through and through. His hair was plastered to the sides of his face and his clothing was suctioning to his skin, but shit, he was grinning from ear to ear as he went on and on. "'Cause without it, ya ain't gonna get yer nice flowers an' yer garden's an'—"_

"_Ellis, seriously," Nick was laughing. "Shut up. It's fucking raining on me. I could careless about fucking petunias and marigolds. I'm wet and I'm pissed. Let me have this, Jesus Christ."_

_Ellis chuckled embarrassingly, "All right, Nick. But yer gunna regret bein' mad when ya see everythin' lookin' pretty tamorrow."_

_Nick rolled his eyes. He had such—_

amazing optimism. It had been Ellis _every time_ to pull some bullshit out of the air and make everything terrible around them seem like it really wasn't so bad.

At first, admittedly, it had pissed Nick off to no end—but it was now, standing here on the ships deck breathing in the salty sea breeze that Nick realized without that god damn relentless optimism he'd be dead—or worse, locked up. Christ. He owed Ellis his life. He owed Ellis everything.

Damn it. Thinking about that kid again.

Nick glanced about. Nearby there was an older man with graying hair and a dark scowl—and better yet, he was smoking. The man was staring bitterly at the coming clouds.

Time to work the magic.

The conman made his way over to the fellow smoker and sported his most charming smile. "Mind if I bum a cigarette off you, sir?" Be up front about what you want, this guy doesn't look like he's much of a talker.

The older man looked at him with that same menacing scowl he had been directing at the clouds, but Nick's smile did not falter. The old man let out a puff of smoke in Nick's face, but still, his smile held... even if he was rather irritated.

"You're that piano guy, aren't you?" The old man finally said, eyeing the other up and down. Nick's smile fell slightly, but he nodded once. The old man reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes. Then he shoved it sharply into the younger man's chest. Nick fumbled with it.

Before Nick could ever stutter out a 'thank you' the old man had flicked his cigarette onto the deck and walked off without another word.

Well… whatever. Nick shrugged and flicked open the pack. There were only four left, but that'd have to do. He pulled a cigarette out and placed it into his mouth. Eventually, he settled on laying himself on the deck—somewhere not really in the way, but not exactly a designated relaxing area. Oh well.

Nick stretched one leg out and laid on his back, one hand coming under his head as a make-shift pillow. His other hand worked the cigarette to and from his mouth every few minutes. All the while, all he could do was stare up into the clouds and no matter how hard he tried, his thoughts always came back to Ellis.

Curious, how that little mechanic was starting to consume his every thought.

It wasn't much longer—because he hadn't even finished his second cigarette—that Nick became aware that Ellis was standing over him. Nick tilted his head back, staring up at the southerner. Ellis was out of breath, flushed and still in his pajamas.

Nick began to laugh, "God damn it, Ellis. I left you a note."

"Wha'?" Ellis' face scrunched up and then he itched the back of his head sheepishly. "…Oh… I di'n't… uh.. I di'n't see it…"

"This seems most obvious." Nick chuckled again, but it quickly caught in his throat as Ellis sat himself behind him and then shifted forward so that his head now laid in his lap. Nick felt a flush overtaking him and try as hard as he could, he simply couldn't make it go away. "I…uh… so… sleep well?"

"Yeah. 'Til I woke up 'cause I was cold." There was a hint, only a hint, of annoyance in the southerner's voice, but Nick caught it. He puffed at his cigarette worriedly in response, but said nothing. Ellis' gaze dropped to the conman and then slowly his hands rose and his fingers dug into his dark hair. Nick blinked at the touch, tilting his head back again to catch the others gaze. "Still havin' bad dreams?" Ellis asked quietly, sympathetically.

Nick's mouth dropped opened slightly before he caught himself. "Ah… no, actually… I had… I had a good dream."

"Really? Thas cool. I haven't been dreamin' much lately, which I guess is okay, but kinda borin' too, ya know? I like dreams. They're always so cool an'…. dream-like…" Nick chuckled and Ellis cleared his throat and quickly tried to cover up his lameness, "So—uh, ya had a good dream? Wha'd ya dream 'bout?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yep." Smoke curled into the air as Nick let out another lungful.

"…Ya gonna elaborate?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

Why not indeed? Nick twisted the cigarette in his fingers, brooding. But then Ellis leaned over him and jerked him out of his thoughts.

"Was it an embarassin' dream?" Nick flushed and looked away, smoking more insistently. "…Was I naked?" Ellis whispered. Nick choked on his cigarette smoke. "I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin'… Or, wait… Was I? Why are ya lookin' like tha'? Nick? Nick!"

Flustered, the older man sat up, running his fingers through his hair several times, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Ellis, you were not naked, okay? What the hell." He huffed. "Who the hell even suggests that? Jesus."

"Aw, then wha' were ya doin' dreamin' 'bout me?" Ellis leaned over the others shoulder, his chin dropping down onto it. "Come on, Nick. I'm curious. Tell me!"

Nick felt a shudder run through him as he felt the others body pressing closer and closer. Ellis continued to whine playfully and his arms came around him. He draped himself over the older man, pawing at him persistently, all the while just begging to know _exactly_ why he had been in the other's dream. Nick found himself smirking.

"Ellis, I swear… if you don't stop I'm going to kiss you." Ah—wait, oh shit. Did he just say that out loud? There was no turning back now. Nick looked slyly to the mechanic. Ellis' face was one of surprise. Ha!

"Do it then. I dare ya." Wha—wait, what? Now it was Nick's turn to look startled.

Nick studied the other for a brief moment, trying to decide if he was being serious. It didn't take long before Nick decided he was.

The conman turned his face towards the other and very briefly placed his lips against Ellis'. But Ellis wasn't having any of that innocent kissing stuff. His hands came up instantly to take fistfuls of his hair and Nick found himself twisting around just so he could compromise to the man's enthusiastic advances.

And, holy shit, was the kid ever passionate. As their mouths worked together, Nick found himself almost laughing with relief.

Oh,_ thank_ _God_.

* * *

**A/N:** I think I was high when I was writing this. I'm not even kidding. And it was a bad kind of high. Like, I couldn't think and so I'm most positive what I wrote is absolutely just… (for lack of a better word) retarded to read. I knew of 2 scenes I wanted to write but had no idea how to fill up the space in between them… and… uh… yeah… apparently that's what comes out of my non-thinking brain. Consequently, I really don't like this chapter. I apologize for it's… lameness.

My brain feels empty. –sadface-


	14. Chapter 14

If there had been any doubts of a coming storm, they were all washed away with the sudden downpour. It was so violent that it practically knocked the two out of their tongue-dancing pleasure. In absent-minded amusement, Nick wondered if that was Gods way of saying '_now knock that shit off!_', but he never thought twice of it. He pulled Ellis to his feet—they were both sopping wet.

"Ah, well…" Nick brushed the rain from his eyes, "Guess that's the end of that, kid."

"Uh, no," Ellis replied. His hands came up and grabbed the front of the conman's dress shirt and jerked him down into a clumsy kiss. Nick blinked at the intensity, but then slowly let himself relax and enjoy every bit of it. They had to of lasted a full minute before Ellis finally pulled away to take in a much needed breath of air.

Ellis tried to return eagerly but Nick grabbed the others face between his hands, "_Easy,_ tiger. Let's get out of this rain and you out of that wet clothes." The smile that accompanied those simple words promised a much deeper meaning.

"Yeah," Ellis replied, loosening his grip only slightly, "Yeah, okay."

And Nick could have sworn, _sworn_ that Ellis wasn't walking—or running—but _marching_ them purposefully to their room. It made Nick laugh. Ah, to be young.

"Whas so funny?" Ellis asked as he shoved the card into the door and out. He pushed it opened.

"You," Nick replied, smirking, as he followed the other inside. He leaned back against the door and it clicked shut quietly. His eyes roamed the southerners drenched appearance—yeah, he looked exactly like he did back in Mississippi. Soaking-wet to the bone, but still grinning like an idiot. God, damn it, the kid was fucking adorable. "Come here."

The conman plunged forward, hands grasping at the mechanics wet shirt. It took a few tugs before it un-plastered itself from the mans skin, but when it did Nick was not disappointed. Shit, he had seen the kid half-naked more than once but he hadn't ever given him a second-look. And why? Because he hadn't cared. Now though, as their tongues clashed together in a heated dance, he let his hands ran up the others spine and found every muscle and curve in his body. It was now that Nick realized Ellis was _perfect_. Absolutely perfectly toned in every way. Despite the irony, Nick thanked God for such a marvelous display of man-flesh.

"Well, hey now. This ain't fair…" Ellis was working very, very hard to try and unbutton Nick's front, but he had come tangled up on the third button down. It may have been their closeness or because Ellis was shaking so badly with anticipation, but for the life of him he could not get the button to unfasten itself. "Damn it. Can't… get… it… off…"

_Pop_. The button went flying through the air to land somewhere to Nick's left. Nick blinked once before looking down to watch as Ellis jerked the front of his shirt apart all the way down—popping off every button with a little audible noise. Nick didn't know whether he should laugh or be mad. He decided on the former.

"Impatient, are we?" Nick purred, taking the younger mans chin in one hand and tilting his face up. Ellis flushed as he stared into those tantalizing green-gold eyes. But, to be fair, he got what he wanted—Nick's shirt was now unbuttoned. Ellis allowed his fingers to touch the exposed flesh underneath, relishing every little detail. Nick descended his lips onto the mechanic's as he pulled him into a tight embrace, walking the other backwards. They toppled right onto the bed.

Nick tried hard to be as efficient as he could be—kissing and undressing the other at the same time—but he found himself becoming more and more frustrated as it proved impossible to remove the others pajama bottoms without untying the ungodly knot. Doing it one handed wasn't proving to make the job any easier.

Nick broke their kiss, pushing himself up onto his knees and pulling at the draw-string. "What—what the hell is this, Ellis? This is ridiculous. Is this a fucking Celtic knot?" He jerked the knot one way and then the other—damn thing was tight as hell. The older man finally settled on using his teeth. Ellis had no complaints, he simply shivered under the touch, trying hard to not wither too much under the others not-quite meek attempts to undo it.

"Success!" Nick cheered. Off came the cumbersome wet pajama pants. Nick threw them over his shoulder and grasped the others naked hips between his hands. His hands at one time would have been soft and effeminate due to his lifestyle, but after months of killing zombies and fighting for his life, they had become rough and calloused. Ellis found himself pleasantly surprised to enjoy the roughness of it.

Unable to resist not teasing all that flesh with his teeth and tongue any longer, Nick gave in, only after giving the flushed younger man under him a parting kiss. Then down his mouth went, biting and pressing deep kisses down the southerners chest and abdomen. Ellis hands found the conman's hair and the mechanic twisted it between his fingers—it stung, but, gods, it felt good.

Now Ellis was a good and proper gentleman—he had never had sex any other way than what God had intended—man, woman, missionary—enough said. But the moment that Nick's mouth had found his throbbing member Ellis felt like he had been cheated in life. He probably would have been mad at his loss had he not found himself gasping and moaning with pleasure. In fact, it hardly mattered. Waiting this long and experiencing this feeling from Nick was well worth the wait.

Nick's movements were all deliberate, expert and maddening. One tilt of his head one way would send a wave of pleasure through the mechanic, and then a slight dip the other way would practically send the young man shuddering with ecstasy. His tongue was warm, wet and far more nimble than Ellis would have _ever_ imagined. Twisting, stroking—the pressure of his lips as he moved him in and out expertly—that was all Ellis could handle.

"N-Nick—" He had to warn him, had to—"N-N-Nick, I-I'm, I'm gonna, gonna…"

"Mmhmmm…" The gentle rumble in the conman's throat was all that hinted Nick had even heard him. And had he not, he was probably in for one hell of a surprise. Ellis body spread with an intense feeling of pleasure that built up from his groin and melted outward, sending his body shuddering in the throes of an orgasm. Nick almost acted like he didn't notice, but as Ellis' body collapsed back he finally re-emerged. He was smirking.

"H-hey now," Ellis panted, trying hard to push himself up onto his elbows. Nick had straddled him, all the while kissing him along the neck and fondling him in every place imaginable. Ellis only had one complaint; "Ya still got yer clothes on." Nick paused in his kisses and sat up, glancing down to the wet clothes still clinging to him. In fact he hadn't removed one article of clothing yet. "Now tha' ain't fair," Ellis whined.

"I suppose it's not," Nick agreed. He unfastened his belt and slipped it from his waist and tossed it. With far less trouble than he had with Ellis' bottoms, he removed his, boxers and all and moved to grab at the mechanic again—but Ellis surprised him.

The younger man pounced the conman and pinned his arms over his head. Well—holy shit. Nick didn't even get a chance to stay surprised—Ellis crushed his lips against his and practically forced his tongue inside. Nick fought it only briefly before submitting and very quickly, Ellis relented with his aggressive advance, satisfied that Nick had so willingly allowed him entrance. The young man was a surprisingly good kisser when he wasn't so damn keen on simply suffocating his mate into surrender. In fact, Nick noted to allow the kid to dominate him more often in the future.

They pulled apart, panting and grinning at each other. "Are you going to let me go?" Nick questioned, one eyebrow raised. Ellis flushed embarrassingly before releasing his grip on the others wrists. Nick snaked his hands up around the others waist, touching the mechanic's warmed and moist skin greedily.

"Here," Ellis said. He leaned over to the nightstand—purposefully grinding his hips against Nick as he did. The conman let out a little grunt, eyes squeezing shut and smirking at the playful movement. When he opened his eyes again Ellis was waving a small bottle of lotion in his eyes. "Ya wanna?"

Wanna? Sure. Why the hell not. Nick's answer was a passionate kiss.

The younger man straddled the others legs and poured a very liberal amount of the lotion into his palms before lathering the warmed cream onto Nick's hardened manhood. Nick sucked in a breath and held it as Ellis spent probably a little longer than he needed to smothering the lubricant on. Ellis adjusted himself forward, closer, and Nick slicked his fingers with the excess and probed him gently at first, but more insistently as Ellis' soft moans became far too much for him to handle.

It was a breath and a few gasps later that the conman settled himself inside of Ellis. The younger man's back arched at the odd new sensation and his thighs locked against Nick's hips. His breaths were catching in his throat, hands touching and grasping at the others well-toned stomach and chest.

"El-Ellis… You're all right? Are you—" Nick barely could keep himself from moaning the rest of the words out as Ellis shifted his hips forward and then back hypnotically and each time he took in a startled gasp of pleasure. Well that answered that.

At first Ellis was gentle, explorative and aware that he needed to work himself into a position that he and his lover could tolerate. But eventually his enthusiastic youthful drive kicked in and he was grinding the other inside his body with hard and feverish rocks.

Nick wouldn't have ever thought that this other man—any man for that matter—would ever trigger such an intense feeling of pleasure. It wasn't just the movements, that almost violent rocking of hips against hips, but those soft sounds and moans, the way Ellis' face was tilted downward, how his eyes were closed and how he was smiling between each throaty gasp. There was more than just a physical pleasure here—Nick felt his heart swelling even as his body twitched and spasmed under waves of bliss.

Shaking, his hands came up to grasp Ellis' waist and those blue eyes opened just enough to catch his gaze. Ellis' smile widened even further and as he did Nick thrust himself upward and deeper into the other. Ellis' eyes closed involuntarily and then his back arched—a moan escaped him—a moan that suggested that their pleasure was about to reach its peak.

Watching the mechanic moving over him is probably what caused Nick's body to give in first. God damn, those noises were maddeningly beautiful. His body trembled as the orgasm shook his body in uncontrollable spasms. His own throaty moans sent the mechanic over the edge too and soon Ellis' own gasps joined his.

Panting now, they grinned at each other—sweat beading on their bodies and breaths harsh in their ears.

Well god damn—who would have thought? Little mechanic and shady conman? Three months ago Nick would have shot the person dead who had ever even suggested such a ludicrous idea. The odds had been zero. Absolutely zero.

Ellis pulled himself free of the other before he settled himself in the conman's arms. Nick brought him into a fierce, appreciative kiss.

But hell, even a skillful gambler could calculate the odds incorrectly from time to time.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ For some reason I could not _for the life of me_ stop laughing during the writing of this entire sex-scene. It's probably because I know that I'm _awful_ at it—thus why my writing relies so heavily on evoking feeling/emotion—but I took a stab at it anyways. (P.S. if you could SEE the conversation I had with my friend while writing this, you'd probably laugh at how much I made fun of myself while writing this LOL I really should have saved it, we're awful. I must have said cowboy buttsex a hundred times.)

I apologize for not keeping my one-chapter-a-day ritual. My brain was still feeling awfully blank and after having to ride in a car (soon again tomorrow with 6x the distance, ugh) I've been battling some awful carsickness. So, pardon me and my fail.

Once again, not sure how much longer this is going to be. I have several plot ideas in mind, but I'm not sure if anyone is interested enough in following them all the way back to shore and starting a life. I may just write it because I need something to occupy my brain whilst still living in this hell hole. So, if you were expecting a wrap up very soon, I do apologize. I'll try and stay interesting.

lexsterling(dot)deviantart(dot)com/journal/33688860/ -the convo I had with my friend on MSN while writing this chapter. Just to prove how insane I was while writing this LOL


	15. Chapter 15

When the conman woke up he was pleasantly surprised to find a very naked and very warm Ellis asleep against him. The mechanic was half-lying on him and his arm was curled around his neck, face pressed into the curve of the older man's neck and shoulder.

Nick lifted his left hand slowly and pressed it into the younger man's hair. Ellis didn't wake and so he bravely ran the locks between his fingers, admiring everything about them. God, they were so soft… such a lovely auburn… Ellis was beautiful in every sense of the word.

And who would have thought? Little mechanic…? Little rambling-never-shuts-up-and-always-smiling-hill-billie? He would have never found himself cuddling another man after a night of passion before this Infection. But, damn, times have sure changed. Nick figured it was for the better.

Normally Nick would get up almost immediately after waking. He had never had a reason to lay there—considering he had always been sneaking out of a bed or lying alone. He hardly ever laid in bed once his eyes had opened for the first time, but today he found himself unwilling to give in to his ritual. The conman was thoroughly enjoying the mechanic's warm body and soft hair. He felt rather possessive as he stroked those curls over and over and over, but he realized the motion and the texture under his fingertips was almost therapeutic. He would never stop if he were allowed.

But despite this almost day-dream like stupor he found himself in, his heart was aching… But, not with pain or guilt or shame… But with… admiration? Longing… Maybe even love? Christ, _maybe even love._ This aching, but strangely satisfying hurt in his chest was a good feeling. A great feeling, really. God damn… he wouldn't have ever thought he would subject himself to this emotion again. This fragile and often intense emotion… Shit… he really had gotten himself transfixed here, hadn't he?

Ellis stirred and shifted forward, nuzzling his face into Nick's neck before his sleepy blue eyes blinked open. He squinted blearily up at the conman before a smile found his lips. "Hiya," he mumbled sleepily.

"Hey," Nick replied quietly, smirking. He twisted the mechanic's hair between his fingers. Ellis squeezed one eye closed from the slight pain, grimacing mockingly, then he inched forward and pressed his lips to the older mans neck. Nick felt his body swelling with delight. "Well, now, good morning to you too," he mumbled gruffly.

Ellis' reply was to shift his leg around the conman's hip and adjust himself on top of the older man. His hands came up to bury themselves into the others hair and he tugged on it (as a little payback, of course). As he did, his kisses on Nick's neck became more of a sucking and biting frenzy. Nick almost wondered if Ellis was even conscious of how aggressive he was being—probably not, but did he mind? Not at all.

The kisses worked from the dip in his shoulder across his throat and to the other side—leaving little marks all the way across the teased skin. And all the while the little mechanic simply jerked and twisted at the other's hair, seemingly not at all interested in quitting any time soon. Once again, Nick had no complaints—especially when the young man started to involve his body—like had just became aware of how he was formally just lying on top the other so placidly... Not anymore though—Ellis' entire form was now committed in pleasuring the man beneath him. His legs caressed his sides, body fervently smothering against his, hands so eagerly touching everything within grasp.

One particular nip at the conman's neck caused him to jerk slightly with surprise and Ellis ceased his playful attack, lips pressed into a pout. "Awww, did tha' hurt?" he cooed. Nick almost answered but the young man had crushed their lips together again.

Ellis' teeth took Nick's lower lip and he bit it gently a few times in between his lavishing kisses before he bit down hard—enough to leave a bruise. Nick hissed out between his teeth before grabbing the mechanic's face between his hands. He used his weight advantage to switch their positions, now having the sulky-eyed man pinned underneath him.

But, god damn, despite the bruises and aching on his abused skin, Nick honestly reveled the thought that he was becoming marked up like a treasure map by the young man. Absolutely _loved_ the thought. But the kid was just having way too much fun doing it.

Nick had the other's wrists pinned down on either side of his head (a position that was becoming popular for them).

Ellis was pouting immensely. "I wasn't done yet," the southerner said.

"No?" Nick questioned mockingly, kissing him. Ellis bit at him again and Nick pulled away before he drew blood. "You, my darling, are full of surprises." Ellis gave him a smirk, licking his teeth lustfully before trying his hardest to muscle his way free of the other man. Nick, however, was enjoying Ellis' body crushed up under him far too much to let him go just yet. He decided to let him struggle for a bit.

"Nnnickkkk," the mechanic whined, thrashing one way and then the other. He huffed loudly before locking his legs around the others hips. The squeezing distracted the other enough to where Ellis was able to free his wrists. He sat up instantly, grabbing the mans face and locking lips passionately. He felt Nick adjusting his knees forward, changing their position only slightly, but the slight movement was enough to release their awkward position. Now Ellis was practically sitting in Nick's lap.

Now, Nick was perfectly content macking at eight-in-the-morning, but Ellis seemed to have gotten a taste of something irresistible because he suddenly pulled away. Nick watched amused as the other clumsily grabbed at the lotion from the night before.

"Hot damn, Ellis, are you sure you're ready for—"

"—yer turn," Ellis said, smirking.

"My turn? What do you mean my turn?" He got his answer when Ellis shoved him onto his back. It became even more obvious when Ellis began to lather himself up. Nick felt a flush burning his face as Ellis' suggestion became _very_ obvious.

At first Nick doubted everything about this current position—it seemed odd that he, the conman with a sharp tongue and massive ego would be able to enjoy the feeling of being dominated so blatantly by another person—but all doubts, every single one of them went out the window the second Ellis found his rhythm.

Nick drew in his breath as much as he could—filling his lungs with a tightness that only seemed to emphasize each wave of passion that passed through his body. _God damn_ that felt good. Never would have thought, never would have tried, never would have crossed his mind had Ellis not so bravely enforced this odd role reverse. He never would have thought he could enjoy it so god damn much.

And Ellis was practically laughing in between each thrust he was smiling so damn much. It was his turn to bask in the glow of his lover's sweet moans and pleased gasps and the southerner was enjoying every second of it. Nick looked fucking beautiful as his body arched and trembled with each blissful wave. Ellis was damn proud that it was him enticing those noises and looks from the older man. Yep, Ellis was damn pleased.

Nick didn't last for much longer under those ardent thrusts and touches and when he finally did give in, he moved forward, pulling Ellis against him, tightly, obsessively clutching him against his shaking body. Ellis held him, listening to those startled and pleased gasps in his ear. Nick hadn't even finished before Ellis found his own body giving in.

Still holding onto each other, Nick let out a surprised chuckle, "Well… that was… that was rather pleasant." He sure sounded surprised. His mouth twitched slightly as he took in the other's flushed expression and he kissed the mechanic gently. Ellis returned the kiss, tenderly this time. "Thank you."

Ellis grinned, "Anytime, Nick. Anytime." Man, this young southerner was just full of surprises.

Nick loved it.

* * *

**A/N:** Nothing really plot-worthy happened in this chapter, sorry guys –cough- I mostly made it this short so I could start editing chapters 1-15 since this website can only hold up to 15 documents at once and I wanted to make sure I can get my editing in. Thought I'd be nice and try and get back onto my one chapter a day updating D:

Well, that's one way to wake up. (The only reason they uh… banged again… is because I didn't know how to move them from waking up to starting the day without wrapping it up with a few sentences… and so… this happened…) Even though they really didn't go anywhere come to think of it… Damn me! (In my defense it just felt odd going from bangin' ta plot-line again)

Also, I don't buy into the whole uke/seme thing anyways. If two men (or women) are going to have a good healthy relationship, typically there's no such thing as an uke or seme. Some just need more convincing than others… but… yeah. My two cents.

I am all for the thought of Ellis being hot and horny all the time. He just seems like someone that once he gets a taste of passion, he'll be unwilling to stop… (I mean, shit, look how obsessive he is with his rants/objects of adoration in his dialogue) Which, I can imagine is going to get tiring to write, but hell, at least it's fun. I just hope it's as fun to read LOL (Although I promise not to burden the plot tooooo much with them going at it.)

I also found it super hilarious after posting two sex scenes, I'm totally unabashed at continuing. Thanks guys XD


	16. Chapter 16

"Hey, Ellis?"

"Yeah?"

"What's the date today?"

Ellis scrunched his face cutely and scratched at the side of his head. "Ya know… I ain't really sure… We got here late December… probably 'round Christmas. I only know 'cause they kept sayin' that we was like a late Christmas gift or somethin'… They ha'n't see too many Survivors comin' outta New Orleans an' so they sorta figured everyon' was done bein' saved an' stuff… But then we four came 'long an' rekindled the hope!" He grinned, obviously proud of that thought. "We sure surprised them."

"Uh-huh…" Nick replied absently. He adjusted the collar of his dress shirt—trying to, at least cover _some_ of the hickies that the mechanic had so generously smothered him with that morning. It was a failed attempt at best and eventually Nick gave up, realizing he really didn't mind that much. He caught the young mans grin in the corner of his eye and turned to slowly meet his gaze.

Ellis' grin widened. "I sure got ya good, di'n't I?"

Nick's eyes teased the other suggestively for a moment and Ellis was almost positive they were about to tear clothes off again, but, instead, the conman clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and moved to the door. "Oh the explaining you'll have to give to poor, poor Coach and Rochelle." Ellis flushed crimson at this before following.

Though it was as they walked down the hallway towards the mess hall that Nick became very aware that he hadn't seen Coach for days—Rochelle for at least a week. Where had they gone? He vaguely recalled Coach's farewell, but he hadn't seen him since… And Coach with his heavy-set build and immense height wasn't _exactly_ someone you didn't notice lumbering about. Where had they run off to?

"Ellis…?" he started curiously.

"I know whatcha yer thinkin' an' yes, Coach is still on this cruise ship. I've talked ta him a couple times over the last few days—"

"What? When?"

"Gettin' food an' stuff fer us." Ellis paused and then whispered, "It's like he lives there…"

Nick laughed. "Why does that not surprise me?"

Ellis grinned knowingly and continued, "But, yeah… anyway, he told me tha' Rochelle was gunna transfer ta the North Atlantic ta be with her family an' stuff. She also got some reportin' job out there an' so I think she's actually gunna be back ashore reportin' on the progress pretty soon… But tha' was like two or three days ago… I think she might be gone by now…"

Did he feel a great sense of loss knowing that the woman was probably gone out of his life forever? Not really. He and Rochelle hadn't always seen eye-to-eye but he respected having her as a part of the team—even if she had a habit of wasting bandages on little nicks and bruises.

It was like she couldn't stand seeing blood and did her best to cover up anything and everything—from little scratches to gaping wounds. The worse part is that she seemed to have no discretion between them. It was more than once that he simply had to throw up his hands and let her baby one of his many scratches along the way just so he wouldn't have to argue with her. Yeah, she had probably caused him the most headache throughout their journey to New Orleans. But, hell, she had saved him more than once and he remembered that too.

He was startled out of his quite musing when Ellis' hand snaked in his. Nick looked to the other and the southerner was smirking. Lately he had been holding that kid's hand a lot… not that he minded, but when he really thought about it, it was a rather new experience. He had barely even held _her_ hand when they had been _married_. That thought alone actually made his fingers twitch violently—and Ellis noticed. The younger man gave him a worried frown. Nick pretended to not notice.

The ship was, as usual, lively at this hour—it was somewhere near noon and practically everyone was awake, wandering about aimlessly or making rounds back to the survivor/deceased lists to check for friends and family. Nick and Ellis, however, made their way to the mess hall where—not to either of their surprise—they spotted Coach.

In the big mans defense, it looked like he had was volunteering his time cooking—because he was dressed in a volunteer outfit. The moment that he spotted his two friends, he quickly waved them over.

"Well I'll be damned, Nick!" The former coach said, slapping the conman roughly on the shoulder. Nick did well to not flinch, but he gave the other an annoyed scowl (he was definitely back to his old self.) "Look at you, all smilin' and full of life." Coach paused for a moment—eyes wandering slightly and he looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he gave Ellis a healthy smack on the shoulder too, "And you, Young'un. Good for you."

They played catch-up as they ate—but mostly Coach did all the talking. Apparently, Coach had been very lucky—most of his immediate family had been found alive and transferred all around the New Orleans's vessels and they were waiting for another transfer before the rest of them could be reunited. It was good news—great news. Coach was probably one of the luckiest men alive right about now, and to be honest, Nick was happy for him… even if he was growing increasingly more annoying as he went on and on about all his amazing luck.

But then big mans ranting soon came to an end. He suddenly looked very concerned. "How have ya'll been findin' your families? Any good news?"

Nick shifted slightly and frowned, but Ellis spoke for them both, "Uh—oh… yeah… Nothin' real good though. Well, except fer Nick. Nick's got a sister in the North Atlantic evac area." Oh, Ellis and his big mouth. The southerner cringed visibly, realizing he had probably offered more information than Nick would have cared to. It was obvious in the way that Nick was now looking at him.

"Really?" Coach frowned thoughtfully, "North Atlantic? That's where Rochelle transferred. You should have gone with her."

"…Nah," Nick drew in a slow breath, trying to calm his suddenly pounding heart. "She and I weren't very close."

"You should at least send a notice to her that you're all right."

"Well, thanks, Coach. I'll keep that in mind." Mind your own damn business, Coach. Good guy, but your heart is sometimes bigger than your brain. Leave it be.

Of course, Coach didn't. "Well, I'm sure she'd be happy to hear from you."

"Uh-huh." Nick felt his brow twitching slightly.

"Wouldn't hurt."

"Right."

"Hey!" Ellis interjected loudly. They both looked to him and he flushed, fumbling for words. "So, uh… um… any news on when we can return ta shore? Ya seem like yew'd know Coach… bein' all volunteer-y an' all."

Coach seemed to decide whether or not to question Nick's suddenly sour mood, but he reluctantly moved on without comment. "Yeah. They're working on cleanin' out the city and sanitizin' it. It'll probably be at least another month before they move the vessels back to shore and set up the new stations there… Where do you two plan on goin' after all this, anyway? I know I'm headin' back home and I'm gonna start helping with the clean up of good ol' Savannah. You're welcome to join me, Ellis…" He hesitated for only a moment, "Nick."

"I'm not much for cleaning up other people's shit," the conman replied instantly.

Coach scoffed. "Where's home for you then?"

Nick shook his head slowly, almost annoyed with the lack of information Coach had seemed to gather on him, but in reality, Nick shouldn't have expected any differently. He never offered information about himself and it was becoming painfully obvious as their conversation continued.

"I have an apartment in North Carolina," the conman said, shrugging slightly.

Although, to be honest, he hardly even went there anymore. It had become more or less a quiet retreat when he was having a particular bad string of luck. He'd go 'home', relax, re-gather himself and continue on the road with his conning and gambling. His landlord had no complaints—he always paid on time and never caused any trouble…

Well, except for one time when he had been followed home by a particularly angry man… The guy had practically torn down Nick's door with a golf club and trashed his apartment with savage rage even a Tank could be proud of. Nick had been able to pawn it off as a random attack to the police (and to his landlord) and no one had thought any differently. Except, probably, for the poor sod left to serve time. Losing 30 grand didn't usually sit well with most. But, hey, it wasn't Nicks' fault the guy was so damn gullible. Too bad he had to use that 30 grand to fix up his apartment. Well, lesson learned.

"Well, how about you, Ellis? You wanna come back to Savannah with me?"

There was a long silence—an uncanny silence—and Nick looked to the southerner. Ellis was staring down at the table, frowning deeply. When he finally spoke, he didn't look up. "No… I love Savannah an' all… But there's jus' too much shit there tha' I don' wanna think 'bout… I ain't got no one left there no more an' goin' back there jus' won't feel righ', ya know? I think… I think tha' I'll…" he trailed off.

But then Nick elbowed him sharply and Ellis looked to him, startled. "How does Oak Ridge sound?"

"Oak Ridge?" Ellis looked confused.

Nick had to keep himself from sighing. "North Carolina?"

It took Ellis a few seconds to catch on, but when he did he beamed. "It sounds real good, Nick. Real good."

Nick ruffled the mechanics hair roughly, "You're god damn right it sounds good, kid. You're stuck with me forever, remember?"

Ellis giggled under the touch, swatting playfully at the other's hand, "Yeah, yeah I remember."

Coach raised one eyebrow slightly, but never voiced whatever he was thinking. Instead he simply shrugged mentally.

In the end, it seemed they had both found someone to live for.

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter kicked my ass. It was painful to write but I hope it's not _too_ obvious I struggled with it. I needed to get some info in and it was a damn fight to do so and keep it interesting. (Shit it almost seems like I could end the damn thing right here, but I'm too selfish to do that LOL)

(pointless rambling here)

I was playing City 17 today… Turned a corner and shot a burst of fire at a Jockey that scared the shit out of me—hit a wandering Witch too. So I booked it—like mad. As I'm trying to climb over some rubble behind me I hear Coach's rumbling voice going "Hold on, I got somethin' for ya!" all the while the Witch's screams are getting closer and closer… And Coach suddenly stops me dead in my tracks as he starts to heal me. Of course, I start screaming at him and punching him, tried to pull out my health pack and back-peddle at the same time to get him to let go—but no, the Witch got me. I was… so pissed… Stupid… bots… seriously… Not to mention they let me die—twice after I turned off an alarm on another level and they were too stupid to figure out how to get up there. –shakes head- Bots. I swear. They drive me crazy.

I like making jabs at Rochelle because she's annoying. Today while playing she kept grabbing me and trying to heal me and I took pills and then an adrenaline after Ellis gave me one (I HATE her touching me)… and then she started to heal me again anyways and I kept smacking her and getting away and AGAIN she came after me and frustrated I yelled out "NO MEANS NO ROCHELLE. JESUS CHRIST!" and… now, I was playing in the lodge that I work in… and there were people… and they all gave me a O_o expression… I about died of embarrassment… stupid Rochelle…

I got a late start on this chapter but I was determined to post a chapter today! So ha! Got one posted before midnight, so I win!


	17. Chapter 17

Now call him paranoid, but when Coach called Ellis back—and only Ellis—and began to whisper quietly with him for a good minute or two Nick couldn't _help_ but feel suspicious. It didn't help that when Ellis finally returned to his side he refused to make eye-contact.

Nick frowned. "What was that about?"

"Nothin'." Still no eye-contact and now the young man had turned a fierce shade of red.

"You're a terrible liar," Nick said flatly, eyes narrowing.

"…I… I ain't… Hey, le's go outside! Maybe it stopped rainin'." Ellis took off in the direction of the deck but Nick simply stood rooted in spot, eyes still narrowed. Ellis continued for another few steps until he finally stopped, realizing that Nick wasn't going to follow him. The southerner sighed loudly, head lowering but he still did not turn around to look at the older man.

"Ellis. What did you do?"

"…I… I might of told… Coach…" He mumbled under his breath.

Nick tilted his head slightly, "What? I can't hear you."

Ellis felt his heart pounding. A part of him knew that if he told Nick the truth the other man would probably beat him senseless. Nick didn't need to know right now. Not yet. So, Ellis fibbed; "Coach wanted ta make sure tha' I was doin' okay stayin' with ya still… Took some convincin' but… le's jus' say tha' he ain't worried no more." Well, he never said anything about being a good liar. Nick, at least, seemed to buy the fib.

The conman sighed quietly. "What exactly did you tell him?"

"Everythin'…"

Nick pursed his lips together in a silent 'oh'. Then he shrugged. "Well, whatever. I don't care."

Ellis let out a sigh of relief, but then jerked in surprise as Nick's arms came up around him from behind. Ellis blinked over his shoulder at the other. Nick was smirking.

"So, you want to go outside to see if it's raining…? Okay, fine… But if we get wet again, you better not ruin any more of my shirts." He nipped at the younger man's cheek before letting go. Ellis grinned and hurriedly followed after.

A little to their disappointment it had stopped raining—although it was overcast and humid. Standing outside in the dense muggy air was almost not worth it—but at the same time, it was nice not being cooped up inside with the majority of the masses that all seemed hallow-eyed and gloomy.

Nick sighed. "God, I could use a cigarette." He glanced around, trying to find someone to con a cigarette or two off, but it appeared that no one on deck was blessed with any. He sighed again. "I should start playing the piano or something in exchange for smokes. Do you think they'd pay me in cigarettes?"

"I think fer the most part they ain't got much money…"

"Well, exactly. I wouldn't do it for free so getting cigarettes out of it would be a fair exchange."

Ellis rolled his eyes, "Man, ya still get yer head all obsessed with them material things, dontcha? Haven'tcha learned nothin'? Learn ta be grateful fer whatcha have."

"Sure. But I _want_ cigarettes."

"Butcha don' _need_ 'em."

Nick let out a huff of annoyance, glaring out at the ocean. Well, sure, he didn't _need_ them per se, but the conman would pay to see anyone else try to cope with going from smoking a pack a day to having not one damn cigarette for weeks a time. He wanted a cigarette and there was no and, if's or but's about it. He would get one eventually… somehow.

"Hey… Nick?" Nick's slightly annoyed gaze turned to the southerner. Ellis was looking suddenly very, very _very_ guilty. "Promise not ta get mad… okay?"

"…" Nick shifted his front towards the mechanic and eyed him. "What is it?"

"Ya promise?"

"No."

Ellis made a face, gripping the railing in his hands. He wasn't good at lying—and whenever had lied he had never been able to live with himself until he had ultimately confessed. His mother had quickly instilled that virtue in him at an early age and it had stuck with him all throughout his life.

He could still remember at fifteen when he had worried himself sick one time after lying to his mother about going to Keith's house—but the two had actually ended up going to the next city down to party. It hadn't even been the booze that had made him puke that night—but the guilt. He had felt so awful that eventually Keith had just let him call home. He had sobbed out his confession over the phone to his mother about where he really was. She hadn't really been mad, but that didn't change the fact that he had been grounded for a good month… Yeah, Ellis didn't handle guilt very well and he took the punishment without any complaint.

"Coach-wanted-ta-make-sure-yer-sister-knew-ya-was-okay-an'-so-I-gave-him-her-name-an'-location-an'-stuff."

Nick blinked once and then leaned forward, eyes narrowed dangerously. "What did you just say?"

Ellis fumbled for words, backing away and trying very hard to not look Nick in the face. The conman did not look happy. At all.

"I asked you a question, Ellis. What did you just say?"

"…Told… Coach… 'bout yer sister…" Nick let out an annoyed breath before shoving himself away from the railing. He stared at the mechanic in open disbelief. "I-I though' it'd be a good thing tha' she knew, ya know?" Nicks face twisted with bitterness and he gave the mechanic one last scowl before storming away. "Nick? Nick! Hey, come on, I'm sorry—Nick? Please, don' be mad, okay? I'm sorry. Maybe if I can find Coach real quick he mighta not told the military ta give her a notice… Nick? _I'm sorry!_ Nick! Wait, come on, man!"

Although the guilt of lying had left a bad taste in his mouth and left him feeling queasy and dishonest, the thought that Nick was now furious with him made the mechanic absolutely _distraught_. And so he did the only thing he could possibly do in such a situation. He began to cry.

Nick made it perhaps four more angry strides before he noticed that Ellis' apologies had turned into choking sobs. He stopped, lifting his gaze to the sky and muttered a few curses before slowly turning back. Son of a bitch. He let out a hissing sigh between his teeth before returning to the mechanics side.

"N-Nick, I'm sorry, okay? I'm—" Ellis hiccupped, tears now wetting his flushed cheeks—"I di'n't mean ta make ya—" his voice choked and he tried again, "make ya mad."

Nick drew the younger man into a tight embrace and the mechanic fell apart quickly, burying his face into Nick's chest and continued his mantra of apologies in between his guilt-ridden sobs. Although Nick _was_ pretty pissed off, the truth was it wasn't worth staying pissed off over. Especially not if it meant condemning Ellis to a bawling wreck. It just wasn't worth staying upset.

"Hey… are you done yet?" Nick asked quietly, trying to sound disinterested. Ellis sniffled loudly, eyes rising tentatively. Nick reluctantly met those worried blues. He felt his heart squeeze painfully. "…I'm not mad, all right…? Just don't be doing that shit. I thought I made it pretty clear of what I intended to do about that whole mess."

Even so… Even so he was oddly relieved… Like a weight had been lifted… Maybe he should thank the kid? Nah.

"…Ya sure ya ain't mad? I mean… I can… I'll go an' make thing's righ'… Okay? I'll find Coach an'—an'—"

"Relax. It's fine." He released the southerner, but Ellis still clung to him tightly. It was after a moment that Nick returned his arms back around the other. Ellis' fingers dug into his back and Nick winced slightly. "Hey… calm down, all right? Everything's fine."

Ellis pressed is face back into the others chest. "I'm sorry," came another muffled apology.

Nick felt himself starting to grin a little. "This cryin' shit AIN'T gonna work forever, kid. You get this one time that I'll let it work. Got it?"

"Yeah…" Ellis let out a soft laugh. "Yeah, I got it… sorry, man… I jus'… I don' wan' ya ta be mad at me..."

"Do you want me to be mad?"

"No!"

"Then let it go." He released the mechanic again and very reluctantly Ellis' grip loosened. The younger man smiled embarrassedly. Nick could only shake his head slightly and smirk. God damn kid had really rooted himself in deep, hadn't he?

Nick decided he was all right with this growing prospect.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter yet. I feel like I've been lacking a lot these last few, and I apologize for that. Tryin' to work back into conflict/emotion invoking shit. Bare with me. D':

I rocked out to Nick singing while writing this entire chapter. Which, of course, kept making me laugh. Hearing him singing "chit-chat" over and over just made me bust out laughing for a good minute. And gawd the notes he hits in the song "Friends of Mine" makes me lawl so hard! 'Maybe it's not that prettttty, it's just a place in tiiime. Those days are gone foreveeeer and so are those friends of miiiiineeee~" LOL

Ellis strikes me as someone that can't handle lying to people he cares about—especially when he knows that they trust him fully. I don't think there's a worse feeling in the world than guilt. e_e I just think him crying would inadvertently guilt-trip Nick… and I don't think he likes feeling guilty XD

Also, thank you again for following this story along with me. I am so grateful to receive such nice comments. It makes me happy to know that there are people following their journey :'D. Thank you!


	18. Chapter 18

There had been many things he had taken for granted before the Infection—like say, toothpaste and a toothbrush, working bathrooms, a bed, food… and showers. Christ he had to go days—sometimes a week or two at a time without being able to wash himself clean and that feeling in itself had practically driven him insane. He'd have happily exchanged a weeks worth of food for a nice, clean, hot shower. So, did he appreciate the things he had? Contrary to Ellis' belief, yes. Yes he did. (Did that change the fact that he still stubbornly wanted a cigarette? No.)

The conman glanced up into the mirror to catch Ellis stealthily making his way into the bathroom—and upon being caught the young man simply waltzed in confidently. Nick continued to brush his teeth, not looking away from the others smirk… Now what in the world was he doing acting so sneaky…?

He spit into the sink and when he straightened Ellis had wrapped him in an embrace from behind, nibbling at his ear while his hands caught under the older man's shirt and riveted up his stomach.

"What are you doing?" Nick asked calmly, one eyebrow raised.

Ellis inched himself around the others front, still grinning that mischievous grin. Nick had to will himself not to grin back.

Ellis was just radiating sexual energy and despite the fact that Nick would have gladly given in under any other circumstance—there was still that tiny, _tiny _little fact that Ellis had gone behind his back. Although no longer mad, Nick hadn't quite forgiven him for it yet. He could think of a few ways to punish him.

Ellis tried to kiss Nick earnestly—but to his surprise Nick quickly shoved his toothbrush back into his mouth and continued to brush his teeth as though he hadn't noticed. Ellis' eyes narrowed slightly. "I though'… ya were done…"

"Mmm?" Nick brushed more vigorously, pointedly drowning out the other with the sound. Ellis tilted his head slightly, looking bewildered. Nick nudged the southerner gently out of the way and then finished rinsing his mouth out. Again, when he straightened, Ellis tried his best to bring him into a kiss but Nick quickly dodged it. "I'm going to shower."

Ellis' face lit up and then his lips pursed together, eyes suddenly sultry and suggestive. He was nearly irresistible… nearly. Nick had played this game before and he knew that his will was strong—although currently faltering under those sensual blues. "Ooh?" Ellis purred, moving closer. "I see…"

"Uh-huh. So get out."

"Wha'?" Ellis' surprise was very evident. He blinked widely.

"Privacy." The older man quickly turned Ellis about and ushered him out of the bathroom. Ellis resisted, still too confused to even comprehend what was happening. "Pri-va-cy, Ellis. Out." He had to keep himself from laughing as Ellis turned around quickly and gave him a very perplexed stare.

"But, Nick—" _Click_. The door was closed. _Click_. The door was locked. Ellis stood, gaping at it. "Wha'… Wha' jus' happened?" he muttered out loud. He didn't know whether he should be worried or offended… But God help him, he was going to get what he wanted.

Nick spent probably longer than he needed showering but every minute that he took he knew that Ellis was outside—hot, bothered and horny. Oh, how that thought made him grin wickedly. That would teach him. That would teach him damn well… even though Nick doubted that Ellis had even the slightest idea of what he was being punished for.

When he finally emerged from the bathroom, hair still damp and wearing only boxers—Ellis, to his surprise, was full outright naked. Just lying there cutely on his stomach, legs swinging back and forth playfully. Whatever sarcastic comment Nick had prepared came out as an incomprehensible stammer. Ellis' smile was positively lecherous.

"You…" Nick let out a little laugh, leaning against the doorframe. "What are you doing?"

Ellis tilted his head slightly and a slight pout touched his lips as he nonchalantly traced random shapes into the bed. "I nno~" he said in a sing-song voice. His eyes rose to meet the others and Nick couldn't help but smirk. "Hopin' maybe yew'd join me…" There was obvious suggestion in his tone and Nick could feel his will cracking.

"…I'm not sure you deserve me right now," Nick replied slowly. He crossed his arms, glancing towards the ceiling disinterestedly—though in the corner of his eyes he couldn't help but take in that beautifully perfect form. He could tell that Ellis was now frowning.

But very quickly the young man recovered. He pushed himself up onto his knees, running one finger down the middle of his chest and letting out a heavy mocking sigh, "Do I not…?" He bit his lip between his teeth, sighing loudly again. "...Are ya sure?"

Nick's gaze slowly returned to the other and when it did Ellis smiled eagerly. "…I want you to beg."

Ellis didn't even hesitate. He moved forward, crawling to the edge of the bed on his hands and knees. His face tilted down slightly, but his eyes were still locked with Nick's. When he spoke, his voice was low, almost dark, "Please, Nick?"

Nick felt a chill, but he did well to hide it. "Please what, Ellis?"

Ellis' lips parted and his teeth flashed white. He licked the corner of his incisor. "Come fuck me… _Please_?"

Nick's will held on for a fraction of a second longer, but the way Ellis drew in a breath, the way his eyes narrowed ever so slightly with obvious desire and how his tongue snaked out to tease his teeth was just far… _far_ too much. His will to resist was shattered—gone. Just _poof_. Just with that simple look.

It took him two strides to clear the room and on the third he practically tackled the mechanic into the bed. Ellis chuckled at the impact but Nick wasn't at all for giggles. He bit the mechanic hard on the shoulder—he meant business. Ellis felt his body swell with anticipation and his eyes dilated as a rush of blood left him dizzy. Nick did not relent at all, but simply pinned him down against the bed, his bites hard and almost punishing. Like they had a hidden meaning behind them…

"Ni-Nick!" One of the bites broke skin and the mechanic whimpered. "God damn, are ya mad or somethin'?"

"Nope." Nick pressed their lips together, stifling any other questions the young man may have. He pulled away for a breath—

"—Is this payback?" Ellis asked quickly. Nick returned tenfold with a kiss that hurt. Ellis struggled underneath it, fingernails raking down the man's back. Two could play this game. Nick pulled away with a hiss. "Is it?"

"You want payback?" Nick whispered breathlessly. "I'll give you payback."

Ellis did not at all regret his decision to work Nick into such an ill-tempered mood. In fact, he found himself relishing the fact that every one of Nick's actions were riddled with the intent to both please and punish him. And when Nick seized him roughly behind the neck with one hand and dragged him to the edge of the bed with forceful kisses and tugging, Ellis had to admit—it was only more fun when he playfully resisted. It had frustrated Nick to the point that he had simply grabbed him about the waist and heaved him off.

It was only after Nick bent him over the bed and entered him with an almost overly-aggressive thrusting that Ellis briefly questioned if angry sex was worth it…

And yes, yes it was.

The angle was a killer on his back and he felt his muscles aching and quaking under the stress, but the rest of his body was absolutely screaming with pleasure. Each time Nick's body drew back, Ellis sucked in a breath that released into a low moan each time he pushed back inside him. He tried to keep his body rigid against Nick's, but the violent rocking was almost unbearable on his back and his shoulders were beginning to burn.

Nick must have taken pity on him as his moans became choked with soft mewls of pain, because his body shifted slightly forward, lifting Ellis' hips a little higher. The angle was all that was needed to reach their bonded climax. And Nick was only more satisfied with how many times Ellis moaned his name. It was like Ellis' mind went completely blank of any other word but his name. To say the least, Nick was immensely satisfied with that thought.

Nick drew himself free of the other and was rather amused to see that the young man had simply collapsed forward onto the bed, chest heaving, body glistening with sweat. The kid didn't even have enough air in his lungs to say anything. Well… that was a peculiar result.

The conman sat himself on the bed before leaning over and nudging the others shoulder. Ellis slowly gathered himself and rolled onto his back, still trying hard to catch his breath. When he finally looked at the older man, he noticed that Nick wasn't smiling… he looked rather concerned.

"I didn't… I didn't hurt you, did I?" Nick asked softly. Ellis let out a soft laugh, clumsily reaching over to grasp his arm.

"Nah, man… I'm okay." He struggled to sit up, wincing as his muscles trembled under the movements. "Ah… man… I must've really pissed ya off."

"Fff… you still don't know why, do you?" Nick shook his head, smirking and then lifted up one hand to the young man's shoulder. He dug his thumb in, massaging the area experimentally. Ellis shifted slightly, letting out a soft moan. "And here I thought I was getting a point across… You get a fuck and a massage? Shit. Don't get the wrong idea and start doing shit I specifically tell you not to do."

Ellis snorted with laughter but it quickly became a suppressed moan of appreciation as Nick shifted closer and both of his hands came up to work the tensed muscles that he had so greedily given tautness to.

"Wha'd I do again?" Ellis asked in between his soft noises and grimaces.

Nick leaned close, "You got handsy with my personal life."

"Oh… yeah…"

"Don't do shit like that again."

"…Can't really screw tha' up more than once…"

Nick rolled his eyes. "Nonetheless…"

"Yeah, yeah… I won' do tha' again…"

"Good." Nick placed a firm kiss on Ellis' cheek before grinning. "Wanna go again?"

Ellis shrugged, "Well sure. If I get ta be top."

Nick let out a mocking sigh, "I suppose I could find it in my heart to allow it."

Ellis chuckled, reaching over to take a fistful of the older mans hair and kissed him gently.

Oh, this was going to be an entertaining night.

* * *

**A/N:** LOLOLOLOL! This. Cracked. Me. Up. Gawd, Ellis. Just, LOL. I really debated whether this was… worth actually putting into the story—but since in my mind it had happened I kind of felt like it needed to be put in so we were all on the same page… even if it's kind of… maybe a little… out of character? I don't know. It gave me some good laughs. I feel a little like an idiot for including it though XD Oh well… Am I really going to keep up this sex-splurge? Probably. I can't imagine why'd they'd ever want to stop.


	19. Chapter 19

_Every Sunday he ate with his mother and today was no exception. And it was a beautiful day too—absolutely perfect. Not too hot, not too cold; just perfect. He wondered if maybe he should get the picnic ware out. Ma would probably love to eat outside today. With a slight shrug he started towards the house, but noticed that the mailbox was full._

_He found it very peculiar that it was stuffed full of mail as though she hadn't bothered to get it for a week or two. Shrugging to himself he quickly detoured to grab it. He hummed quietly, shuffling through it. Every return address had only a number on it, more specifically a date ranging from early October to late November. That was sorta odd…_

_He knocked on the door a few times before letting himself in, "Hey-a, Ma. I'm home." He moved into the house and set the stack of unopened mail onto the hallway table. "I got yer mail… Don' really look like nothin' interestin' though…" He trailed off, shuffling through the rest. Absent-mindedly he waited for her to reply, but she never did. "Ma?" No answer. "Hey, Mom?" The young man frowned worriedly, setting down the mail and wandered further down the hall._

_The second door he passed was the living room and he caught the back of the rocking chair moving back and forth slowly in the corner of his eye. It was an old silly thing—draped with what he liked to jokingly refer to as 'old lady quilts'. His mother, however, sat it in every day, gazing out the window in between her reading. She enjoyed it and so Ellis never really teased her too much about it. _

_He stopped in the doorway._

"_Hey, Mom?" __**Creak**__. __**Creak**__. The chair groaned eerily with each rock—Ellis didn't quite remember it ever making such a noise. "…Ma…?" For some reason he felt a tremor of fear gripping him. He didn't know why. He took a step forward, squinting hard. He could barely make out her arm—her bracelets glittered in the sun, but she still… still did not answer him. He moved to speak again but before could say anything he became aware that someone was standing directly behind him. He jumped, turning on his heel quickly. "Ah—shit, Keith, man ya scared the piss outta me!" Ellis let out a laugh, but it quickly died in his throat._

_Keith was not smiling, in fact, his face with contorted oddly—almost like he was in an enormous amount of pain. Ellis caught a glint of silver. His eyes drew down his friend's right arm. Keith was clutching a large knife in his hand. Keith was shaking. _

_Ellis felt his heart starting to pound even harder._

"_Uh… Keith…? Wassup…?" Keith took a step towards him and Ellis took one back. Keith's eye twitched and his mouth curled into a sneer. "Keith…?"_

"_Yer dead," the man said coldly._

"_Uh, no I ain't, Keith. I'm righ' here."_

"_Dead," Keith said again, his voice was soft and deadly._

"_I ain't—"_

"_DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!" Keith brandished the knife in his clutched fist and brought it down to slash at Ellis but the mechanic quickly dodged the blade. He let out a terrified scream and bolted past him. His feet tangled up on each other and he stumbled into the hallway. Behind him he heard Keith snarling. Panicked, Ellis shoved himself off the wall and sprinted out the door. _

_Oh shit, oh shit! What the hell's going on? Man this is—this is—_

_Ellis came to a startled stop. Keith was standing in the middle of the road now, knife lifted menacingly. He was still whispering harshly under his breath. His face was now twitching uncontrollably and his body moved awkwardly as he came towards him. Ellis shook his head in denial. No way—how did he get there? He glanced towards the door—that was impossible—impossible—just—_

_Keith was standing directly in front of him and Ellis let out a scream. The knife came down and buried into his shoulder. Ellis screamed again and fell over backwards. He felt the blade wrench from his body and the pain was intense, overwhelming. He let out a choking sob, shaking his head in denial. What's going on? This isn't right. This isn't right!_

_But Keith wasn't done. He came down on him again with vicious wrath and the knife led each attack. Ellis tried to protect himself—he threw up his arms, cowering and kicking at the other—but, God, it was useless._

_His left hand sheared off at the wrist and the blood that pulsated from the severed limb became a shower of crimson. Ellis felt his stomach lurch and the pain was almost too much to bear. His right hand did not fair much better. First he lost his ring and pinky fingers and then his thumb and finally the last two digits were sliced away. Keith laughed and continued to stab him with murderous intent._

_And the blood—there was so much blood. Ellis couldn't even comprehend how all of this blood was coming from him. His body felt weak, awfully warm and the pain was so choking that he couldn't even scream anymore. The blade nicked his neck and a spray of blood painted Keith's front red. Keith didn't stop. He kept stabbing the knife into the other, laughing cruelly._

"_Yer dead, yer dead, yer dead," Keith whispered repeatedly, and each time he said the words the knife plunged somewhere new. Ellis felt blood gurgling in his throat. He choked on it, trying to spit it out, tried to bring air back into his starving lungs… but it was useless. He could not breathe._

_If the wounds didn't kill him, his own blood suffocating him would._

_I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I don't want to die! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!_

_"Ellis!"_

_HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME!_

"_Ellis!"_

_GOD PLEASE DON'T LET HIM KILL ME!_

"ELLIS!" Nick shook the other roughly one last time and the mechanic finally awoke with a startled gasp. "Ellis? Are you all right…? Hey? Ellis?"

Ellis lay rigid, mouth working to form words but nothing came out. There were tears coming from the corners of his eyes. When he finally looked at the older man, he looked terrible lost—but most of all, he looked scared. Nick quickly drew him into his arms. He was alarmed by how little Ellis reacted to the embrace.

"It was just a dream, Ellis… All right? No one's going to hurt you… You're okay." He held the other close with one hand while the other stroked through his hair comfortingly. It took several minutes before Ellis finally even seemed to register where he was.

"Nick?" the southerner asked quietly, almost confused.

"Yeah, kid. You're all right."

Ellis' arms finally came up and gave Nick the embrace the conman had been expecting the first time. Ellis clung on tightly, staring out at the wall with morbid detachment. He was strangely quiet.

"Ellis…?"

"Keith ain't dead, man," the young man whispered shakily.

Keith isn't…? Nick blinked several times. A worried frown found his lips. "Ellis, it was just a dream…"

"No, I mean Keith _ain't_ dead."

"I don't understand."

Ellis sighed and very slowly he pushed himself out of the the other mans arms. Nick reluctantly let him go. Ellis settled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, eyes searching through the darkness.

He swallowed several times before he tried to speak again. "Keith's all locked up an' shit, Nick. I've seen him a couple of times since we've been here, but they told me I shouldn't come back no more 'cause he was only gettin' worse… I probably would have kept goin' an' stuff… but I wanted ta be there fer ya too… I… I almost forget tha' he was still in there…" Ellis shook violently. He lifted his hands up and studied them intently. "…Shit man… I gatta see 'em one last time… Jus' ta make sure there ain't nothin' more I can do for 'em…" He hesitated before looking at the Nick. "…Can… Can ya come with me?"

"Yeah… Ellis. Yeah, I can do that." Cautiously Nick reached out to gently run his palm down Ellis' cheek. The mechanic looked at him through the dim light. His eyes were still full of tears. Nick studied him worriedly. Ellis seemed to not want to speak any more and Nick respected that, knowing all to well how horrifying ones own mind could be in sleep. Sometimes it only made things worse to speak of such terrible nightmares. "We'll do that in the morning, all right?" Nick offered gently.

"…Yeah… Thanks, man." Ellis condemned himself to lying alone, refusing to let the other comfort him. But, Nick was persistent and eventually Ellis found himself wanting to be reassured with gentle touches and kisses. He shifted over and Nick instantly pulled him back against him. Nick pressed a delicate kiss against the corner of Ellis' mouth and the young man couldn't help but smile.

Nick offered the comfort he needed—craved— but despite his valiant efforts, Ellis still found his heart ached too much to be warmed with such gentleness.

Neither one of them fell asleep again.

* * *

**A/N:** Mostly this chapter is so short because I am so god damn tired. I don't know what the deal is, but I haven't been able to sleep lately. So I do apologize for the shortness. I was going to condense this chapter and tomorrow's chapter as one, but when I started to expand it, I realized I was too tired to even think any more.

NOTE: I don't write dreams for the fun of it (although it is quite fun). The dreams that they have all have hidden meaning in them. If you look closely you may be able to find links to thinks back in previous chapters or giving hint to things in coming chapters... I just had this sense that people might start thinking I use dreams as a filler when I don't know what to write, but I write each one in an attempt to give you insight on what they're currently thinking/feeling.


	20. Chapter 20

_It wasn't because he had hit his baseball into the neighbors yard that he was so upset—but because of __**which**__ backyard it had gone into. There was no way, no possible way that he was going to make it out alive if he went back there. If the dogs didn't kill him, the old guy who lived there would._

"_Don' worry, El! We'll get it!" Eleven-year old Keith announced confidently. "Jus' give me a lift up thar!"_

"_I don' know 'bout this Keith… maybe we should jus' get my Ma…"_

"_Don' be such a sissy, El! Come on! I can get it~!"_

_A little more convincing and name-calling caused Ellis to finally give his friend that boost he needed to clear the fence. He heard Keith land on the other side and Ellis quickly pressed his eye to the small cracks in the wood fence. _

_The dogs barked instantly—two viciously angry Dobermans that came snapping and snarling out of their doghouses. Ellis was sure he was about to witness his best friend being eaten alive. He almost couldn't watch._

_But then somehow—__**somehow**__ Keith dodged them. He moved like some action hero, springing on top of the first doghouse then to the next and then he landed on the grass beside the ball. He scooped it up into one hand, turned and bounded back up onto the closest doghouse and then he launched himself forward onto a pile of wood. The dogs snapped at his heels the entire way as he ran along the shifting logs—but despite the immediate danger he was in, Keith was laughing. The next leap he took sent him high enough to catch his arms on the top of the fence and with a little scrambling he managed to heave the rest of his body over the fence. He landed, straightened and then held out the ball to his friend, looking very satistifed._

_Ellis stared, amazed. Keith had to be the __**coolest**__ kid in all Savannah!_

Ellis drew in a long breath that made his chest hurt. When he released it he could still feel a painful ache. God… he didn't want to do this… but at the same time he knew he had to. He looked to Nick who gave him a slight encouraging nod. Ellis continued to hesitate.

"_Ah, man I can't wait ta see the Midnight Riders!" Ellis cheered, practically exploding with anticipation. "Man, Keith, I can't believe ya got us tickets! YER AWESOME, MAN!" He probably would have hugged his best friend had his seatbelt not locked down on him at his jerky movement. Ellis choked on it and sat back, still grinning despite his sore shoulder. "Ah, shit, man. This is gunna be AWESOME!"_

"_FRONT ROW!" Keith cheered. The song on the radio switched to a familiar tune and Keith quickly turned it up, drumming his hands on the steering wheel to the beat while Ellis air guitar-ed enthusiastically._

_Together they began to sing; "Well I'm a half-tone son of a gun with a suitcase full of pistols an' money! Come dawn, woman, I'm gone but tonight can be your lifetime honey! God damn girl, I'm your man girl. I'll get your engine singin'~"_

_Ah shit man, tonight was just going to be the greatest night of their lives._

What exactly did he think he was going to accomplish subjecting himself to this torture? He knew that Keith was lost—absolutely gone. There was nothing, _nothing_ left of the person Ellis had once known. And he knew that. When he had looked Keith in the eyes all those days ago he hadn't seen even a glimmer of the once clumsy optimist that he had enjoyed so many pointless endeavors with. There had been no joy behind those eyes—nothing. There had been just nothing.

Ellis shifted uncomfortably. "Nick, I don' wan' ya ta see 'em like this… I can go alone…"

Nick's face softened and he reached out to gently brush his hand down Ellis' wrist until he found his hand. "Are you sure…?"

"Ya…" No. "I'll be okay." I hope. He gave the conman one last faltering smile before he allowed the military man to lead him back into the holding cells.

_Together they had bought a pair of badly neglected and seemingly impossible-to-fix dirt-bikes. Pooling their money together had brought them to fifty-six dollars and sixteen cents. The man had willing shoveled the useless things over to them—more happy to get the free space and a little cash out of it… He probably would have shit himself had he known that not even three days later the two kids had both of them running like brand new._

_They had to of been riding for hours—but neither one of them were ready to turn back. It was dusk now and they probably would end up getting lost—or maybe even running out of gas, but that was where all the fun lay. There was something just too thrilling as they rode out into nothing, with nowhere to go, with no destination, no reason to be heading anywhere. They were just riding and riding, chasing that falling sun sinking into the horizon. If they rode longer, maybe they would find where the sun hid at night._

_They were just kids, but they were already convinced that they were going to open a shop together. A mechanic shop. They were going to start saving their money and they were gonna own their own shop. Dave wanted in on it too—and that was just better. More the merrier? That's right. They were gonna do it. And why not? It was a flawless plan. Flawless! It was only because their parents had insisted that they finished high school that they were going to wait a few years. Who needs college? Not these guys. They could fix anything and you don't need no college degree to do that. _

_Yeah, start savin' guys, 'cause we're gonna be the Kings of Savannah come here in two years._

Ellis couldn't really see anything as he moved. He felt rather faint, his eyes were swimming and he felt like at any moment he was just going to black out. But he refused to give into the blankness. Refused to leave this nightmare unaddressed. He had to know… Had to know… Had to…

_Keith had become all tangled up in his fishing line. He was cussing like a sailor, stumbling all over himself before he tripped over one of the seats and fell right into the tackle box. Every lure they owned seemed to latch onto his skin. Ellis howled with laughter as his friend flailed and shot back to his feet._

_Although in pain, Keith started to grin. "Maybe if I jump in righ' now I can get my limit?" And did he? You bet he did. He just dove right into the water—Ellis laughed harder. God damn it, Keith. _

A new hallway lead to a new long corridor that needed to be walked. Funeral march? Sort of. Reminded him a little of it. He put his hands in his pockets as he moved, reminding himself that he had no one but himself. He had to do this by himself. Had to face this terrible realization. Had to confront it. Had to accept it. He had to be sure… but… maybe Keith was still in there? Maybe he was still that smiling, joking, obnoxious and accident-prone idiot that he had grown up with? Maybe… maybe, just maybe… Couldn't help to pray. Couldn't help… Couldn't help himself but to…

_He couldn't have been any happier. Twenty-three, two years into co-owning his own mechanic shop along side his two best friends. God damn, life couldn't have been any better. Couldn't have possibly gone any better for him._

"_Hey, El?" Keith called. Ellis glanced about, unsure of where he was, but then Keith rolled out from underneath a car he was working on. He was covered from head to foot in grease. "Someone uptown needs ta have their car picked up for 'em. Can ya do it? I gatta get this shit figured out by five an' I still ain't got a clue whas wrong with it. The address is in the office."_

"_Yeah, okay. I'll do tha'."_

"_Yer a life-saver, El!" Keith called before grabbing underneath the car and wheeling himself back under. Ellis rolled his eyes and moved into the office. He grabbed the tow-truck keys and the messily scribbled address._

"_Ya owe me one, Keith."_

"_I'll buy you a twelve pack!" Keith called._

"_Cheap ass!" Ellis laughed back._

"_Twenty-four?"_

"_Gettin' there."_

"_Twenty four and a handshake?"_

"_Make tha' twenty-four an' a big man hug."_

_Keith laughed obnoxiously, "Yer a riot, El. A real riot." Ellis responded with a hearty laugh before climbing into the tow truck. He waved absently as he pulled out, not really bothering to even say a real goodbye.._

And that was the last time Ellis ever saw Keith before the Infection.

"All right, sir. Right here…" The military man tapped at the large yellow sign plastered on the door, "He's a level 3 danger. You can't go in there."

Ellis felt his heart sink. "…Then wha' am I supposed ta do?"

"There isn't much you can do…" The soldier glanced through the one-way window, frowning. "Not much anyone can do."

Ellis glanced in too. His breath hitched. "…Ya sure I can't go in there?"

"Nah, sorry. Last person that went in there got bit. He's one of the bad ones. No matter how many times we draw his blood and test it, he always comes back negative for the Infection. It's all in his head… Sad thing is, he's not the only one." The soldier stepped back, waving his hand almost nonchalantly towards the rest of the hallway/ "All these are level 3."

Ellis followed the mans gestures. The hallway was long—maybe even endless. Ellis swallowed thickly. "Whas gunna happen ta 'em…?"

The solider shrugged slightly. "When we get back to shore they're going to be put into a proper asylum where they can get better treatment."

"Better treatment?" His heart lifted. "Will tha' make 'em better?"

The soldier snorted, "I wouldn't get your hopes up… He's far gone." Ellis nodded mutely and, as instructed, he let his heart sink painfully low.

Maybe it was because they were talking so close to the door that Keith had become fixated on covering his ears and gnawing at his upraised knees. He was rocking back and forth, muttering and biting at himself. Ellis' throat tightened painfully and it hurt to breathe.

"Ain't nothin'..." He drew in a shuddering breath, "Ain't nothin' I can do fer 'em?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Can I talk ta 'em?"

"I wouldn't recommend it…"

"…Please?"

The soldier let out a low sigh. "I'm not supposed to do this… So don't tell anyone." He moved forward and flicked open a box on the wall. "Press the button to talk… He hasn't ever responded much to anything anyways, so I can't see this being a huge problem…" The soldier covered the button with his hand before Ellis could press it and very seriously continued, "He's really gone, kid. I'd really rather you didn't do this."

"…I gatta."

"All right…" The soldier dropped his hand and stepped away.

Ellis sucked in a long breath before pressing the button. He leaned in probably further than he needed. "Keith…? Keith, it's me… It's Ellis." Keith did not respond at all—except his rocking became more violent and he was starting to sob. Ellis felt is body starting to shake. "Keith, man… It's all right… It's Ellis… Do ya remember me?"

More crying, more rocking. But no answer. Nothing more indicated that underneath all that psychosis was a man he had once known. Ellis' finger left the button but his eyes never left Keith's rocking, sobbing body. He stared for along time.

"Sorry, kid…" The soldier said slowly. He tried to smile sympathetically, but it was obvious that his job had caused him to lose a good majority of his empathy. His smile was almost mocking. "Say your goodbyes. I've got stuff to do." He probably hadn't meant to be so insensitive, but it still made Ellis flinch.

"How do ya say goodbye ta someone tha' ya knew since ya were a lil' kid?" Ellis snapped back. He gave the soldier a withering stare and the man frowned worriedly. "Sorry… I jus'…" Ellis sighed again, steeling his will. He leaned forward and pressed the button again. When he spoke, his voice was strained, guilty. "I'm sorry, Keith. I'm sorry 'bout wha' happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there fer ya… I'm sorry… I… I guess… I guess this is… this is goodbye… All righ'? I'm sorry… I'm really… really really sorry…" Did his apology even matter? Did Keith even hear it? Acknowledge it? It seemed unlikely. Keith had curled up and it looked like he may have fallen asleep.

Feeling hollow inside, Ellis allowed the soldier to escort him back down the hall, back down the lonely white hall, the place where he kept his hands in his pockets, kept himself isolated, alone. Reminded himself that everyone was gone… Everyone was—

"Ellis?" Nick called gently. The mechanic jerked back to reality, blinking widely. Nick was sitting against the wall, legs drawn up and his wrists resting on his knees. He moved to get up but Ellis silently sat himself next to him before he even got the chance to stand.

Nick didn't know how long they sat there, side by side, but when the southerner finally did speak, he sounded full of hurt. "He's gone, Nick. Ain't nothin' there no more. It ain't Keith in there… I don' know wha' ta do."

Nick didn't know what to say. His lips parted to speak, but he ended up just letting in a breath that soon released into a soft sigh. What could he tell the kid? What words could comfort him? What could he possibly say?

When he looked at the young man again, it was obvious that Ellis was fighting to keep himself from crying. Nick had never seen Ellis look so miserable before.

"Do you want to go back to the room...?" Nick suggested gently. Ellis nodded before getting to his feet and Nick followed suit. It wasn't until they had returned to the safety of their room that Nick finally worked up the courage to speak again. "Ellis… if you need to grieve for what you've lost, do it. Don't torture yourself with _what if's_ and _should have's_. You did what you needed to do to survive."

Ellis shook his head, sitting down heavily on the edge of their bed. "I coulda been there though, Nick. If I had been there with 'em… Maybe if I—"

"_Enough_, Ellis. Wishing hard isn't going to change anything." He knelt before the young man and gently took his hands. Ellis' gaze lifted to meet his. "You can grieve for what you have lost, Ellis. You have every reason to. Cry if you need to, but shit, don't dwell on it. Don't fucking confine yourself to a world of heart-ache and suffering. You don't deserve it."

Ellis' breath hiccuped painfully in his throat. "So I can cry?"

"Yeah, Ellis. You can cry."

Ellis took a few more shaky breaths before he slid off the bed onto his knees and reached forward to bury himself into the others arms. Nick pulled him close. He could feel each shuddering sob the young man took. It made his stomach twist painfully, but he only held on tighter.

And he would never let go—not, at least, until Ellis was ready for him to.

* * *

**A/N:** This did not transition how I planned. D': (I don't think it came across with as much strong emotion as I intended either. Goddamnit.)

Ellis can have his bad days too, but unlike Nick I don't see him as someone that can stay in such a depressive mood for very long. He's got in indomitable spirit. He'll be okay soon. I thought this would give Nick an opportune time to explore his more sensitive side. :'D

A lot of this chapter's content was inspired by the song Willow Wood by Bright Eyes (Conor Oberst). Haven't been able to get the song out of my head. (Not sure if that's the right title for it, but it's what it's called on my iTunes).

Making memories for Ellis and Keith wasn't nearly as hard as I initially thought it was going to be… Although, whether they were significant is debatable lol Significant to Ellis, at least. For some reason, I just got this impression that Keith called Ellis "El" which is why Ellis bothers to introduce himself as "Ellis or El" but prefers Ellis since El sounds-like-a-gurls-name.


	21. Chapter 21

He didn't cry for very long—and it probably had more to do with the fact that the floor was really the least comfortable place to be comforted.

With a sigh Ellis untangled himself from the other and scooted himself back onto the edge of the bed. Nick continued to kneel for a moment longer. He studied Ellis intently before he grudgingly got to his feet.

Nick moved to speak—to reassure Ellis, somehow, but the young man started to crawl to the head of the bed and then he turned back and gave Nick a pleading look. Nick tilted his head slightly but climbed in without comment. Before he had even managed to adjust the pillows so they could lean against them, Ellis had already latched onto him.

Nick fully expected Ellis to start talking, but instead the young man reached over for the tv remote and clicked it on. He was half-grinning, which looked rather silly considering his face was still heavy with misery.

"Hey… Phineas an' Ferb…" Ellis muttered.

Nick couldn't help himself. He let out a noise of disbelief, "Cartoons, Ellis?"

_I'm complex, I'm like an onion!_

"That's not even funny," Nick said flatly. Ellis, however, was giggling. Nick let out a sigh. Well, if the kid wanted to melt his brain with cartoons, then he supposed he'd have to let him do it. He tried to allow his mind to wrap around the show, but as more characters were introduced he found himself thinking more than letting his brain go numb—like it should when watching senseless kid shows. "There is something seriously wrong with this cartoon…" He grinned slightly. "I can understand why you enjoy it."

"Fff… it's funny… Ya should watch cartoons more often…" Ellis shifted slightly, nuzzling his face a little closer. "…Keith, Dave an' I would watch cartoons like… every mornin'. Even when we got inta high school an' stuff… Man… high school. Tha' really wasn't tha' long ago, wasnit?"

Nick snorted, "Maybe not for you."

"Ya ain't tha' much older than me, Nick."

"You wanna bet on that?"

Ellis tilted his head back, as if trying to get a better look at the conman. "Man, ya have ta be like only… five or six years older than me."

Nick laughed, hard. "Jesus, Ellis. I'm not a woman you don't have to try to flatter me."

"I ain't tryin' ta do nothin' like tha'. I'm bein' serious…" He shifted a little closer, eyes intently studying the older mans face. "…Uh… how old are ya then?"

"Thirty-five."

"Shit, man. Yer kiddin'."

"Love me less?" Nicks smirk was positively devilish.

"Ffff. Yeah, whatever. Ain't never woulda though', but it don' bother me none… When's yer birthday?"

"September. The sixth."

"Ah, man. Ya probably don' even remember yer golden birthday then! Thas depressin'."

Nick frowned. "What's a golden birthday?"

"Man, ya don' know wha' a golden birthday is?" Ellis shifted about excitedly and Nick had to adjust his arm so that the young man could inch closer without digging all kinds of elbows and knees into him. "Man, it's when ya are turnin' the same age as yer birth day. I was born February sixteenth, so when I had my golden birthday my Ma went all out. She got me a truck! It was the coolest thing ever. Keith even went with her an' stuff ta find me one. I mean, it wasn't no new car or nothin', but man, it was still perfect…" He trailed off for a moment before continuing fondly, "His Ma an' my Ma were best friends back through high school an' stuff an' so thas why we was always hangin' out. Man, we practically lived at each others houses. I remember how his Ma ended up buyin' me my own sleep-over stuff 'cause I always ended up jus' stayin' the night. Ma did the same fer Keith too. Shit, man, we was like brothers. I di'n't have no real brothers or sisters growin' up, ya know? So it woulda been pretty lonely if I di'n't have Keith… ya… ya know?" He looked as though he might continue, but there were tears in his eyes. He didn't trust himself to keep talking.

Nicks response was to tangle his fingers into Ellis' growing hair. He may have commented on how long it had gotten to distract him, but he didn't want to make any indication that he wanted it cut. He liked how he could lose his fingers in those soft curls.

The cartoon still played, sending colors dancing across the ceiling and their bodies, the voices almost distorted as their minds focused elsewhere.

"Man, Keith an' I did everythin' tagether," Ellis whispered. "I can't believe… can't believe tha'…" He let in a long breath before resting his face back against Nicks shoulder. "Wha' was it like growin' up where ya were from, Nick? In Omaha? Didja like high school an' stuff?"

Nick raised on eyebrow, frowning slightly. "I think I spent more time in the principles office than I did in all my classes combined."

"Tha' don' surprise me none… In fact I'd probably be surprised otherwise. Ya not like school?"

"It wasn't that. I didn't really mind it. I had a smart mouth and not many of the teachers appreciated it. And I cussed. A lot. Another thing that they tended to frown upon."

"Well, ya never really broke tha' habit none. Wha' were ya in school? The jock, the bully, smart kid?"

Nick snorted. "I don't know, Ellis. That was a long time ago."

"Ain't tha' long ago!"

"Honestly, Ellis. I barely passed high school I was in so much trouble all the time. I hardly ever even got to interact with the other kids."

"So ya were the troublemaker!" Ellis sounded pleased at this discovery.

Nick sighed quietly and had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. "Yeah, Ellis. I guess so."

"Well, man. So was Keith an' I. There was this one time fer our senior prank tha' we took a bunch of homemade roman candles an' set them up in the front lawn. All them other kids put like, spoons an' forks an' stuff, but we wanted ta make sure the class of '04 went out with a big bang, ya know? An' shit, man, when those things went off it was the coolest thing ever. They're gunna remember us forever… We also sorta scorched some of the buildin' too… Wonder if thas all still there..? But, man, the principle was sooo mad. He wanted ta, like, not let us graduate… but then I think he sorta figured he'd rather get us out then make us stay another year. We almost di'n't get ta walk though. I woulda felt real bad if we couldn't, 'cause Ma was real excited fer it… But it all worked out in the end."

_Most things seem to work out for you, don't they, Ellis? _But then Nick sighed. _Well, except for the whole 'everyone-you-knew-dying-or-going-crazy' thing. Some huge fucking shock, huh kid? Goddamn._

"Whas wrong, Nick?"

"Nothing."

Ellis studied him, reaching up with one hand to gently trail his fingers down the others stubble. Nick shifted his face slightly so he could watch Ellis' eyes greedily taking him in. He liked that look on Ellis. The mechanics fingers brushed across his bottom lip and then the young man sighed softly, contently.

"Hey Nick? Wha's Oak Ridge like?"

"Hmm…" Nick dropped his head gently against Ellis' "Well… let's see. Last time I was there it was still pretty quiet, peaceful. Not a whole lot goes on there. And I like it like that, you know, Ellis. It's a calming place," his voice became a little more stern, but obviously teasing, "a place where I go to relax."

"Ya ain't gonna be relaxin' much with me there," Ellis pointed out. Whether he was trying to be suggestive or not was hard to tell just by voice, but the grin that occupied those words made it very evident. The little grin promised _many_ things. He snuggled closer, "Tell me more."

"Ah... well… I live in an apartment-sort-of-complex. It's actually really a townhouse, but whatever. And it's not _exactly_ in Oak Ridge, but close enough… I'm honestly not there enough to really talk about it. I mostly just stay inside and drink when I'm there."

"Do they allow pets?" Ellis asked. He sounded hopeful.

Nick looked at him suspiciously. "I don't know, maybe. Why?"

"We should get a dog. Or a cat."

"I don't like animals."

"Wha'? How do ya not like animals? Man, I always wanted ta have like a dog or somethin' but we di'n't live in big enough of a house an' so my Ma wouldn't let me have nothin'. Keith though, man, he _always_ had like a bunch of cats an' a dog or two. It was cool though. Bein' able ta like play with 'em but then go home an' not have ta worry 'bout takin' care of 'em or nothin'." Ellis chuckled. "Keith use ta complain 'bout tha'."

"Can't we get a plant instead or something? And you can play with that. Water it and talk to it and stuff. You can even let it in inside during bad weather."

Ellis' face scrunched. "Tha' don't sound like no fun, Nick."

"Having a pet isn't fun, Ellis. They're all hairy, always demanding attention and you have to feed them, pick up after them… You have to spend money on them... That doesn't sound like fun to me. Sounds like a pain in my ass."

"Yer no fun. Why not a cat then, man? They don' really need attention or nothin'. Ya jus' have ta keep their litter box clean an' keep feedin' 'em an' so long as ya pet 'em every so often they're pretty content. Ain't gatta walk 'em or nothin'."

"That _almost_ sounds nice, Ellis. Almost." Nick's tone was littered with sarcasm.

"Man, are ya allergic ta 'em or somethin'?"

"No."

"Had a bad experience?"

"I jus' am not a fan of animals, Ellis."

"Wha' if it has short hair?"

Nick made a little noise, "God damn, kid. You really want this fucking cat?"

"Yeah."

"All right. Shit. You can have a fucking cat. But it's getting declawed, fixed and if it sheds one god damn hair I'm going to shave it."

"Aw, man, thanks, Nick!" Ellis drew the other into an excited kiss. "Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going to regret it, but you're welcome. And if you name it 'mittens' or 'boots' or something, I'll never let you have another animal again."

Ellis laughed. "Shit, man, I promise I won't do nothin' like tha'. But, man, that reminds me. One time Keith an' I caught this toad when we was kids an' we kept it an' stuff for awhile. We named it 'Fish' 'cause we kept it in an old aquarium an' my Ma alway's told us ta remember ta 'feed the fish'. We though' it was so funny… Then again, she kinda accidently killed it when she put a hot lamp over its cage… Though' toad's needed the heat…"

"Ellis, you just ruined the story for me," Nick said laughing.

Ellis chuckled, "Sorry. But, man, tha' had ta be the first time I ever got real mad at her. I di'n't talk to her fer like… a whole day."

"A whole day?" Nick blew out mocking whistle. "I really don't think I believe you. That just seems far too long."

"I got will, man," Ellis replied, grinning. "An' I was jus' a kid. Probably only like nine or somethin'. Thas a long time fer a kid ta go without talkin' ta their Ma. Man she was so upset though… I ain't never ignored her after tha'…" He sighed quietly. "Man I hated seein' her cry, ya know? I mean, she was my Ma… I'd do anythin' ta make sure she was all righ' an' smilin' an' stuff… I remember when we got inta a car accident when I was twelve or somethin'. Some guy di'n't stop at a red light an' hit us. Man, I ain't never seen her cry so much in my life. She kept sayin' she was sorry, but I di'n't know wha' she was so sorry fer. It wasn't her fault or nothin'. I got banged up pretty bad. Messed up my pelvis some."

"Jesus." The conman drew the other a little closer, probably unconsciously, but Ellis noticed. The mechanic smiled slightly.

"Yeah. It was okay though. I mean, it really sucked for a long time havin' ta do therapy an' shit, but it really wasn't so bad. I kinda started doin' shit I wasn't supposed ta be doin' righ' away an' tha' kinda messed me up some even today. But, it's okay. The faster I recovered the sooner it made Ma happy again. An' it don't hurt none, so it ain't really tha' annoyin'… Guess thas my story behind why I can't run well." He nudged the older man. Nick looked at him again. "Tell me a story 'bout when ya were a 'lil kid."

"Huh?" Nick blinked, taken aback. "A story?" He frowned. "I really can't think of anything."

"Think hard. I wanna hear a story 'bout ya. I've been doin' all this talkin' an' ya haven't said much."

"All right…" Nick squinted one eye, thinking hard. "Uh… Once when I was ten I fell out of our tree-house."

"Tha' ain't a story, Nick," Ellis said, frowning. "Thas a statement of a fact."

Nick snorted. "All right. I guess it is. Well, I didn't really _fall_ out, my sister pushed me out. It was stupid, really. I took one of her dolls or something and I was holding it hostage with my brother. And she got all mad that we wouldn't give it back and she ended up pushing me and I fell out. It really wasn't that high—like six feet up, but I guess I landed just right. Broke my arm. I had a cast and everything… My sister drew hearts all over it when I was sleeping. God I was so pissed when I woke up… But, anyways, that's the story behind why I'm ambidextrous."

"Nick…?"

"Please don't tell me I have to define ambidextrous."

"No, it ain't tha' Nick…" Ellis stopped. He looked like he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue but Nick gave him a slight nudge of encouragement. "Nick, I know ya left yer sister behind an' stuff, but it don' sound like ya really wanted ta leave _her_. I would give anythin' if any of my friends or family were… were okay… I… I really think ya should get back in contact with her. Catch up, ya know?"

Nick sighed. "Ellis."

"Please, Nick?"

"I'll think about it."

"Will ya really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay… Cool. I'd like ta meet her."

_Me too, Ellis. Me too._ But he didn't say that out-loud. He wasn't sure if he was ready to admit that to even himself.

Fifteen years was a long time for someone to change. He was living, breathing proof of that.

* * *

**A/N:** Goddamn thas alotta useless backstory.

The way this chapter went in my head was so flawless and fluid that I am just so frustrated that I can't remember it enough to write it in the same manner. I wanted to end this –cough- differently. But I think I'll work that in for the next chapter. =) This ended up being another one of those chapters were nothing really that exciting happens, but information is just sort of… thrown in there in a wannabe-fluid way so that the story can progress.

Sorry for missing an update day. Something came up and I didn't get a chance to write. Sadface.

Ellis runs funny. I had a discussion with someone about it once and I took the liberty to give a story behind it. XD Also, I guess Nick is the only survivor that is shown holding weapons in both hands and it's theorized that he's ambidextrous. Being ambidextrous myself I instantly accepted the theory and used the first chance to give a reason as to why.

p.s. I love how Ellis just rants. It's so much fun... also Phineas and Ferb FTW.


	22. Chapter 22

The tv was still on and it was talking to them, but they weren't really listening. It was just a background noise with pretty colors. Pretty little colors that painted the room like some passionately inspired artist. But it was calming, all the same. Ellis never would have thought he could ever feel so intensely at peace. It seemed contradicting, but it was the only way he could think to describe the gentleness in his chest.

"Nick…?" Ellis called softly. He scooted forward, one hand reaching up to press calloused fingers against the others cheek. Nick blinked at him, green-gold eyes, perfectly enticing, perfectly rapt, all focused on him. Nick had intense eyes, eyes that had at one time flustered Ellis; made him almost feel like those eyes could see right into his and read him like a book. Although that feeling he still got, it was no longer an uncomfortable one. Those eyes had a tenderness too… Almost a secret tenderness. Sometimes if you didn't look just right, you may miss it. But it was there. It was definitely there.

"Ellis…?" Nick questioned quietly, one eyebrow raising slightly. The corners of his mouth twitched, trying so very hard to keep that nonchalant mysteriously neutral smile. But Ellis noticed. He noticed that slight curve of his lips, that little smile that indicated he now had the conmans full attention. God, what a beautiful smile.

A flush spread across the young mans cheeks and he shifted onto his hands, hovering just over the other before placing their lips together in a soft kiss. Nick returned the kiss gently.

Nicks smile was becoming a little more of a smirk. "What's all this blushing for?"

Maybe it was because his heart was feeling so god damn good. Or maybe because he had this question on his tongue. It felt so silly to ask, really. But honestly he couldn't help himself. The young man drew in a quick breath, "Nick will ya make love ta me?" His flush deepened a little more, especially with how Nick tilted his head slightly—his smirk became more sincere, less teasing.

"Always," Nick said. Both of his hands lifted find the young mans face and he drew him down into another tender kiss. It was a kiss born of once-upon-a-time subtleties that had grown into one of profound understanding and rapidly growing affection and love. Nick had never kissed anyone with such gentleness.

Their lips left each other for only a moment before returning again and again, each kiss strengthening an unspoken bond that neither could have even hoped to describe.

Nicks fingers left the others face to gently trail down his body and then came to rest at his hips. Ellis pressed his body closer, as much as he possibly could. But still, it was like he couldn't get close enough. Gentle touches riddled in between ever-growing passionate kisses removed the mechanics shirt. Although all this perfect man-flesh was now at his fingertips, Nicks touches remained compassionate, almost delicate.

The conman shifted forward, hand coming about the others waist and urged Ellis to give into the movement. The young man willingly did and their positions switched. Nick took advantage of this new bodily freedom and his kisses drew away from the others lips to find sensitive nerves all along Ellis' throat and collar. It was as though each moist kiss was an invitation for Ellis' body to indulge itself with shivers of pleasure. With each warm shudder he let out a soft breath of appreciation. He knew Nick enjoyed each sound because he returned tenfold to kiss the spots where the more breathy moans had escaped from.

"Nngh…" Ellis mumbled, fingers trying to find the buttons that so greedily concealed his lovers body. Nick obliged to the young mans advances and pulled away only long enough to unfasten the buttons and remove the shirt. Ellis was almost embarrassed by how easily Nick did. He made a mental note to master those buttons in the very near future. The note may have escaped him, however, when Nicks mouth found his again.

The tightness now building within the clothes he still managed to have on was a little maddening. It didn't help that Nick seemed very aware of it. He kept allowing his own body to caress that stressed fabric with tantalizing off-handedness. And that was enough. Ellis needed the damn constricting things off. He fumbled at his own zipper but Nick smoothly stopped him.

"Easy," he whispered, kissing the mechanic's neck, "Slow down…" Another kiss. "I'll get there…" Ellis let in a shaking breath that threatened to become a whine. Nick smiled, letting out a soft chuckle. "Really?" Ellis nodded feverishly. "If you insist." The conman let his hands run down the inside of the mans thighs before he brushed them back up, slowly unbuttoning the pants. Ellis willed himself to stay patient, encouraged every particle in his body to enjoy each touch, each lingering stroke that evoked far more feeling and excitement in his body than he had ever felt before.

The quiet noise the zipper made when being undone forced a smile out of Nick so damn adorable that Ellis couldn't even wait for him to finish removing the cumbersome clothes. Ellis moved forward quickly, grabbing fistfuls of the others hair and kissing him almost to the verge of suffocation. Nick, however, continued to smile, hands still working obediently on his mission. It was a wonder how his mission ended in success, considering how distracting Ellis was being. But, he had no complaints. Ellis was naked and that was all that mattered.

Unable to help himself, Nick let his hands explore every inch of that exposed skin. Each touch now was meant to arouse, to send little goosebumps of excitement across Ellis' flesh and entice soft moans of pleasure. Nick felt almost dizzy with anticipation. Goddamn, there was just something so… so perfect about how Ellis' body reacted to him. So insanely perfect. Like he was meant for it.

Although Ellis had calmed considerably after being freed of his clothing, Nick was starting to feel the madness of being denied his skin against Ellis'. He tried to address the object of denial, but Ellis beat him to it. The mechanic's fingers curled inside of his waistband, knuckles pressing into his skin, kneading against him until Ellis seemed to finally find that elusive button. He threaded it free and his hands came around the loosened waistband to dive lower and grasp at the conman's flawlessly toned ass.

Despite the obvious distraction from getting freed of his clothing, Nick found himself not at all minding the detour. At least, for a while. He reached to grab at Ellis' wrists and to guide him back to their former quest. At being reminded, Ellis quickly brought himself back on track. It didn't take long for him to tug Nicks clothes off.

They came together again, bodies melting against each other in absolute unison, each curve filled with the others body, pressing them together like puzzle pieces.

The pressure in his body was building far too much for him to wait any longer and Ellis seemed more than ready as it was anyways. Ellis looked drunk with passion. His eyes were half-lidded and joined with soft smiles. His breath left him in heavy gasps that only made the conman smile.

"Ah, this stuff should be closer," Nick muttered, releasing the other and crawling across the bed to grab their quickly depleting lotion supply. The very thought that it was running out so quickly made Nick smirk, but also made him slightly apprehensive. Well, that would be one interesting scavenger hunt...

Nick barely even got the chance to slick himself before Ellis had pulled him into another distracting kiss. Though from the way he positioned himself it became obvious that this kiss was meant for multiple purposes. Nick re-adjusted his knees and after as long preparation as he could stand, he entered the other. Their lips drew apart, gasps and moans escaping them as Nick worked himself further inside. Ellis' body twisted under him, chest rising with deep breaths—each breath seemed to allow the conman to move a little deeper.

Ellis reached up clumsily, back arching with Nicks last effort to bury himself as far as he could. The young mans hand found Nicks and he locked their fingers together. It was in that instant that Nick realized that he wanted to make this moment last as long as he possibly could. Whether that was selfish or not, he couldn't quite decide.

And so Nick moved his body with a gentle firmness that rocked their bodies in a slow rhythm. Each time he pushed forward Ellis' eyes fluttered closed and he let out a soft noise. His thighs were pressed firmly on either side of the conman's hips and he could feel each muscle tighten and relax as waves of pleasure entered through the young man's body. Ellis' fingers, although locked with his did not hurt even though they gripped his so intensely. It was more comforting than anything.

This was probably the most beautiful feeling Nick had ever experienced—being the master behind such subtle movements that caused such immense gratification. And coming from Ellis it was almost unbearably pleasing to behold.

As their bodies worked together, still slow and sweet, an overwhelming sense of togetherness seemed to hit the conman. It was an uncontrollable feeling, a feeling that was not just marked with obvious pleasure, but something emotionally significant that it forced him to take in a startled breath. A breath that almost became a sob as tears found their ways to his. He quickly shut them, fingers clutching Ellis' harder. His body found a slightly increased pace and he felt Ellis compromising readily to the new rhythm.

But when his body finally gave into the pleasure, especially when he felt Ellis' body joining him he couldn't help himself. He began to cry—but it definitely wasn't from sadness or from pain. It was the most intense feeling he had ever been given the chance to experience. And it was all because of this southern man that he was able to witness his body, mind and soul coming all at once.

"Nick…? Nick?" Ellis' fingers left the older mans and he reached up to worriedly take his face. "Nick? Are ya okay? Nick?"

The fact that Ellis' voice was quivering with fear and concern made Nick come to his senses. He let in a few shaking breaths before grasping the hands that had been trying so hard to comfort him from a pain that didn't exist. He pressed Ellis' fingers to his lips.

"Everything is perfect, Ellis." He let out a little laugh, smiling. "Perfect."

Ellis blinked a few times, before smiling back. He rested back against the pillow and let out a sigh of relief. Oh and how those beautiful blues were so soft and kind, weighted with love that was beyond comprehension or explanation…

Dear, gods, yes. Everything was perfect.

* * *

**A/N:** So, this is the first time writing them together that actually made me a o/o face. Probably because there was no real funny-factor in it that I could distract myself and laugh over. I hope that it was sweet to read; that was my intent, anyways XD (Although I almost laughed at the end. Oh, Nick… That's not funny. I shouldn't laugh…pansy… NO. I don't mean that. I don't. I really don't. I'm sorry. That's inappropriate of me…. –snort-)

I randomly had this thought the other day: I bet their neighbors hate them. The thought of it made me laugh, really hard. Anywhooo.

Again, thank you so much for the reviews. Ya'll make me smile so much with your kind comments.


	23. Chapter 23

The conman blinked awake. He shifted slightly over, hand reaching out to pat the space beside him—only to discover that he lay alone. His lips parted slightly, eyes searching the bed where Ellis should have been… His heart shuddered and he shuffled himself to an upright position.

But he really needn't have worried. When Ellis noticed he had awakend the little mechanic sprang onto the bed, grinning from ear to ear.

"Jesus, Ellis!" Nick breathed, shifting slightly as the other wormed himself back into his arms. "…Wait, were you awake before me?"

"Yep," came the proud reply.

"And… and you're dressed?" Nick was unable to comprehend.

"Uh-huh."

Nick studied the other. "You sure are all smiles this morning. What have you been up to?"

Ellis smirked mysteriously. "Jus', ya know, gettin' some fresh air an' stuff. But, yeah. Come on. It's like already noon. I got some shit I wanna show ya."

"Well, you sure are romantic with all that fancy talk…" But then Nick paused. Noon? It was noon? He looked at the clock and stared. It read in big bold green lettering; 12:18 pm. Well, holy fucking shit. He couldn't even remember the last time he had ever slept in for so long.

Ellis nudged him. "Cooome ooon, Nick. Get up! Get up!" He bounced excitedly on the bed, all the while shaking the other insistently. "Niiiick~"

"All right, Jesus. What is wrong with you?" Nick untangled himself from the sheets. He was still naked from their lovemaking the night before and the feeling of their AC on his skin wasn't really that welcoming. "I am going to shower, please try not to explode before I get done."

"I wont! I promise~"

Now, all Nick could think of was what Ellis could _possibly_ be so god damn excited for. He couldn't help but be suspicious and his list of reasons was only growing longer and longer the more he mulled over the thought. And so he showered as quickly as he could and before he had even stepped out Ellis was already shoving towels and clothes into his hands.

Nick couldn't help but laugh, even though Ellis was practically bouncing off the walls. What in the fuck? As he dressed he kept making glances at the other. Ellis was rocking on the balls of his feet, grinning broadly. He seriously looked like he had just shot up on adrenaline or devoured an entire case of coffee in one sitting. Either way, Ellis was… well, being Ellis.

Nick barely got his shirt buttoned when the young man grabbed his wrist. "Come on, come on~"

"Can't I brush my teeth? My God, Ellis." The southerner let go of his wrist to allow the older man to attend to his teeth, but unable to be still Ellis ended up hugging the other tightly from behind, still doing that _almost_ annoying _I'm-so-excited-to-show-you-what-I-have_ bounce. Nick, honestly though, didn't mind. He was entirely fine with Ellis being overly-hyperactive instead sad-eyed like he had been the last few days.

He barely even got the toothbrush back on the rack before Ellis had snatched his hand again and dragged him to the door.

"Ellis! Ellis. Shoes. I need to put shoes on."

"Aagh. Shoes!" The southerner threw up his hands, searching the floor. "Ha!" He dove at them and then ushered Nick to sit on the bed. Nick didn't know what was more amusing, the fact that Ellis was putting his shoes on or the fact that he seriously sucked at tying shoelaces. It was the most godawful looking bow he had ever seen, but, shit, he didn't mind.

Again, Ellis insistently took his hand and they left the room in a hurry. All the while Ellis was grinning so much that Nick was starting to suspect that he may have actually really lost his marbles. Or maybe Jimmy Gibbs. Jr was on the vessel… or the Midnight Riders. Or maybe he found a slide. Or a kitten. Or some candy. Or—

"Ta-da!"

Ta-da? Well. That was one way to put it. Ellis had lead them to a private balcony overlooking the sparkling and calm blue ocean—and, holy shit, he even had a nice table decorated with fancy flowers (that HAD to be fake, considering), a few unlit candles and a couple of wine glasses. Wait… wine glasses?

Ellis sidled up next to him, holding up an unopened bottle of red wine. His grin was one of absolute satisfaction.

"You sneaky devil you," Nick breathed. "Where in the hell did you get all this?"

"I know a guy tha' knows a guy tha' knows a guy…" Ellis smirked. "Tha' knew a guy."

Nick was impressed. Definitely impressed—but most of all he was touched. He swore that he could easily melt into a puddle right here at the kids feet—which, really, was fucking weird. He had never felt that way before.

"Come here you." Nick shifted forward, taking the others hips between his hands and tilted his head down to press their lips together. He felt Ellis smile under the kiss and when he pulled away Ellis was still smiling. "I swear… you would make the best conman in the entire world."

"Ain't gatta con nobody though, Nick. Ya jus' gatta ask reaaaal nicely." Ellis stepped back and eyed the wine bottle. He twisted the cap off, but then seemed to realize for the first time that simply didn't render the drink accessible. He eyed the cork. "How in the hell do I get this open?"

Nick laughed. "You need to use this, Ellis." He reached over to pick up the corkscrew that the other had failed to see. He held it up for him.

"Oh... is tha' wha' tha' is? I was wonderin', ya know… I though' it was some kind of fucked up army knife…" Nick laughed. "Wha'? I ain't never drank any of this fancy stuff 'fore, so how was I suppose ta know…?" Eventually, though, the mechanic began to smile, even if he was a little embarrassed. "So uh… howdoya… Uh… Why don' you do it." He handed the bottle over.

Now, Nick had to be an expert of wine opening—this Ellis was convinced of. He burrowed the corkscrew in, twisted the bottle a few good times and then leveraged out the cork with a few coaxing tugs. It popped happily upon being freed of the cork.

"Tha' was cool," Ellis said. Nick chuckled in response. "Here, lemme. Ah, wait. I gatta help ya sit down!" The young man hurried to the table to set the bottle down and then ran back to the conman, offering his arm. Nick, of course, couldn't help himself. He began to laugh, but the grin that occupied his laughter only showed Ellis that he greatly appreciated the effort.

Not-at-all ashamed that Nick had found himself the 'girl' in the escort, he let the other lead him to the table and even let him scoot his chair in for him. In all his years he had never, _never_ experienced such attentiveness. It was odd that it had all spawned from the aftermath of probably the worst disease to ever hit mankind. But he didn't dwell on that fact. He simply enjoyed it for what it was.

Ellis poured them both a hefty amount of wine—and Nick began to suspect Ellis really hadn't had any before—but, shit, getting a little tipsy a quarter to one in the afternoon rather sounded enjoyable. Especially if he had Ellis at his side.

"Ah, shit. Almost fergot." Ellis dug into his pocket for some matches and then struck a flame to one before hurriedly lighting the three candles on the table. Again, Nick couldn't help himself but to chuckle. This was probably the most adorable and most ridiculous thing that he had ever had the pleasure to have happen to him.

The young man admired the flames for a moment to make sure they'd stay lit before he settled himself into his chair. Nick realized that Ellis had a really charming smile the more he studied it. It really was enticing—maybe innocent, but shit, it gave him goose-bumps all the same.

"Ellis… this…" Nick fingered the stem of his wine glass absently. God, how his heart pounded—but with almost alarmingly warm adoration. "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me… Thank you."

"Ya, Nick. O' course." Again with that charming smile. That irresistibly handsome and sincere smile.

"Ellis?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." His heart was thundering in his chest as the words left the safety of his teeth. But it was okay. Ellis' face softened.

"I love you too, Nick." Ellis lifted his glass, his voice soft, "Ta us?"

"To us," Nick echoed, gently clinking their glasses together. They drank to them and the wine was full of sweetness and promises.

It made Nick smile at the implications he found in that sweetness.

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter is a product of severe lack of sleep, too much caffeine to compensate and a huge desire to add some humor. I hope it was a good concoction. LOLOLOLOL

I almost made this longer, but I didn't know how to smoothly transition it without ruining the end chapter mood. So... I apologize this is rather short.

And Hol-ee shit, guys. This story is officially over 100 pages long. Thanks for sticking with me for so long!


	24. Chapter 24

Now, were they tipsy/borderline-drunk at two in the afternoon? You bet they were. As their glasses kept dwindling, Ellis had kept re-filling them back to the top and at first Nick had almost declined the obsessive refills, but after a brief moment he realized that they could both use a couple drinks… and if those "couple drinks" turned to three, four and now five… well, then fine.

Although Nick did greatly appreciate the whole romantic-candle light theme Ellis had put on, they still somehow managed to leave the table to sit by the railing facing the ocean. Their feet dangled over the edge and they crossed their arms over the rail, admiring the peacefulness of the Gulf.

However… Ellis was giggle snorting at nothing in particularly as he grinned goofily out at the horizon and Nick was starting to become very suspicious that the poor kid was drunk. It was only more obvious with how his face was flushed pink. But, shit he was cute as hell.

"Ellis, are you drunk?" Nick asked, finally voicing his suspicions. Ellis looked at him and his grin was lopsided, tongue pressing against his teeth in a manner so adorable that Nick could barely resist the urge to smoosh that grinning face between his hands. Oh, Ellis.

"I ain't drunk, Nick~" Ellis called. He quickly followed up with a series of giggles that betrayed his obvious drunkenness. "Ah, man… maybe I am."

"Well I better catch up then if I want anything to happen. Wouldn't feel right takin' advantage of you and stuff." Nick lifted his glass to his lips and took several gulps that were both richly flavorful and painful. Wine was meant to be sipped for a reason. "Ah, damn. That's good stuff." Before he had even set the glass down Ellis was already working on filling it again. Nick laughed. "God it's like you're trying to get me drunk."

"I jus' wantcha ta relax some, thas all," Ellis replied. He tipped off the glass and set the near-empty wine bottle back behind them. "So… uh… is it workin' an' all?"

"Yeah, El. It sure is…" Nick smiled gently. "Thank you."

Ellis smirked. "Can I have me a kiss then?" He leaned close without even waiting for a response and Nick obliged to give the other a firm but quick kiss on the lips. Ellis blinked. "Well, tha' was almos' a lil' too quick. Was wi'h tha'?"

"Like I said, Ellis. I've got to catch up with you before I start macking on you. Otherwise I won't feel right."

"Oo, gentleman are ya?" Ellis grinned slyly and then reached back for the bottle. He pressed it insistently into Nicks chest. "Well drink faster, 'cause I wanna be doin' some kissin' real soon here."

Again, Nick could only laugh and he took the offered bottle and set it beside himself. "All right, all right. I'm on it." Once again he retrieved his wine glass and downed the contents. He choked a little, clearing his throat, eyes watering. God, never would he had thought he'd ever be getting drunk off (let alone chugging) wine. That just went against his very nature. Then again, Ellis seemed to be encouraging him to do and feel many things he had never thought of.

"Drunk yet?" Ellis whispered.

"Not yet, getting there though." Yes, he had a familiar buzz that was starting to make his flesh warm and encourage him give little unexplained smiles.

"Hey, Nick?" The conman looked to the other. Ellis was frowning as he stared out towards the mainland faint in the distance. "I was jus' wonderin' this… ya know… 'Cause it don' bother me none no more… not really anyway… but… I was jus' wonderin'…" he trailed off.

"About what, Ellis?" Nick asked gently, elbowing him a little. He was alarmed by how Ellis didn't even look at him.

The mechanic licked his lips nervously and although he was still flushed with alcohol, he had an oddly serious look on his face. "When we was first tagether an' stuff, I wasn't sure if ya wanted it ta be permanent. Like… if ya really wanted it. I know I sound stupid an' like a girl an' stuff… But I guess jus' from knowin' ya durin' the Infection an' stuff… I never… I never really got the impression tha' ya wanted a relationship or nothin'. I mean... I ain't complainin' none… I jus'… I jus' wanna make sure tha' yer okay with this… ya know? I… I think ya are… But… I kinda… kinda want ta hear it… Jus' ta make sure."

Nick studied the other for a moment. God how those blues were so worried… But what for? The older man leaned closer, mouth twitching into a full smile. "Ellis, I'm pretty sure that I'm okay with this. Really okay… more than okay…" He kissed the young man, letting their lips linger together for a little longer than earlier—hey, to be fair he was a little more drunk now. He pulled away. "If you need to hear it, then I'll say it. I'm totally, one hundred percent okay with this. I'm all in, baby."

Maybe it was because he was drunk or maybe because he was really that happy to hear Nick so blatantly spell it out where he stood that made Ellis launch himself into the others arms. The mechanics mouth lead the movement and it found Nicks lips in a fierce kiss that resulted in pinning the older man to the ground. Ellis tasted heavily of the wine, sweet and soft.

Ellis drew their lips away. "Ya drunk enough yet?" His fingertips came up to press against the conmans flushed cheeks and he drew his hands down to touch his lips possessively. Ellis was breathing heavily, obviously overwhelmed with longing.

"Drunk enough," Nick replied, pulling him back into another feisty kiss.

Now the only problem with being drunk was that the whole 'hand-eye coordination thing' goes right out the window. And with the amount of alcohol Nick had consumed in the last half hour had pretty much destroyed any chance for him to be smooth. And so for once—Ellis found himself left with the task of unbuttoning the other mans shirt.

"No ruining it now," Nick muttered teasingly. Ellis leaned close, unbuttoning one slowly, grinning hard. Nick let out a little giggle—yes, giggle. All that wine was finally hitting him and Ellis was pleasantly surprised by how cute he looked with those drunken smiles.

"I almos' feel like I'm takin' 'vantage of _you_," Ellis purred. The last button came undone and he slipped his hands down Nicks sides, massaging his body with firm and greedy touches. "But I ain't gonna feel bad 'bout this none."

"Mmmhnn," the conman mumbled, clumsily reaching up to fasten his fingers into the others curls. Ellis grinned before his perfect teeth lowered to the others flesh, nipping and teasing it with shameless abandon. Under his touches and bites he could feel Nicks skin prickling with pleasure. That was a plus, always a plus. Oh how Ellis enjoyed Nicks warm body twisting and arching under his playful advances.

Now, did Ellis feel a sense of pride at getting Nick undressed first? He did. Immense pride. Here he was, still fully clothed while poor drunk Nick lay grinning and giggling like an adorable… well, drunken idiot. He seemed not at all concerned that Ellis was molesting every inch of him without any indication that he was going to stop anytime soon.

And the more Nick responded to those kisses, the more he gasped under those not-so-subtle grasps and gropes did Ellis become all the more braver. His kisses drew lower, detouring down the older mans chest, across his well-toned abdomen to his gasping sides, down to his hip and back across to his navel. Ah, how Nick was practically melting in his hands. Ellis loved every second of it.

Perfectly lush lips pressed together in an alluring pout and the young man lifted his head up enough to catch those green-gold eyes. Those eyes were heavy with desire, absolutely drunk with it. And that desire was obvious in more than one way. The mechanics fingers found the others hardened manhood and Nick practically withered under the touch, a soft moan leaving him. Not wanting to be a tease—but seriously enjoying how pleading those beautiful eyes had become—Ellis' lips parted to bring Nick fully into his mouth.

And away he went, suckling and stroking him in ways Ellis was pretty damn sure he hadn't learned anywhere until just now. Then again, practice makes perfect and Ellis was all about getting some practice in. Nick, honestly, didn't seem to mind at all… seeing as he was gasping pleasingly with each new experimental twist of the younger mans tongue, or stroke of his lush lips grazing up and down. In fact, Ellis quickly learned that he was pretty damn good at this. It was almost like molesting a lollipop… but without all the sugar and colors... and far more rewarding.

Nicks breath caught in his throat and his back arched, fingers digging into the others hair desperately. He tried to gasp out the others name, but no words could possibly form in between all of his pleased noises. Ellis knew though—and he probably would have continued had he not realized a slight flaw in his romantic evening. He seemed to have failed to remember their, well… lotion. But then Ellis had an idea.

His lips offered one last stroke as he pulled away only to be replaced by a very warm and eagerly stroking hand. Nick had no chance. With a shudder and moan his body gave in to a powerful orgasm that left him mewling and shaking with pleasure.

Careful to not lose his natural lubricant he now possessed in one hand, the young man hurriedly kissed his way back to the others lips. "Nick," he breathed in between several hurried and deep kisses, "I need ya… need ya ta get my pants off." Up came the conmans clumsy hands, grasping and tugging at them. "Nick," Ellis laughed, "Button, get the button firs'."

"Oooh." Nick tilted his head slightly, hands diving forward to catch the annoying little pain in the ass detail and slipped it free. The rest of his movements continued clumsily as he chuckled embarrassedly. "I haven't been this drunk since… since I was a kid."

Ellis snorted with laughter, adjusting his hips forward so the other could slide his clothing off more easily. And off they went, being thrown off to the side as Nick grinned naughtily. The older man flashed his teeth, clicking them together and letting out a soft purr of appreciation, hands roaming the newly exposed flesh. Ellis met that grin with another tongue-laden kiss.

When he pulled away he quickly put to use their impromptu lubricant.

"Aah, oh… Good idea," Nick mused once realizing exactly what Ellis had done. Well, kudos to him.

Because he hadn't minded being bottom before Nick willingly and unquestioningly allowed Ellis to take control again. The kid was god damn good at it, so no complaints here. And he was becoming rather expert very quickly with each time he was giving the reins of control. Then again not being top didn't quite leave Nick wanting to be so submissive—especially when drunk.

The older mans hands quickly found the others curls and he twisted those longs locks in between his fingers, pressing their lips together even as Ellis worked himself into him with gentle thrusts and rocks that left them both pulling away with gentle moans, only to have them crush their lips back together in effort to regain their dual of tongues.

Even with the ground being freakishly hard and uncompromising to the two men passionately making love on it, it was still surprisingly comfortable. It probably helped that they were probably too inebriated to even acknowledge any sort of discomfort. But all the same, they got their lovemaking on.

Despite being bottom Nick still managed to work them into a sitting position, having locked his legs around the others hips while Ellis rocked against him, knees almost _almost_ to the point of acknowledging the relentlessness of the ground. But in reality, everything else just felt too damn good to stop. Ellis swayed his hips with growing enthusiasm, compromising with the ground by moving his knees a little further apart to shift their weight. Their mouths met in breathless kisses that threatened to dissolve into outright moans.

Bodies grinding together, hands touching and grasping, lips and tongues searching each other brazenly, the two felt their pleasure peaking, threatening to send them into climax. Whether they were ready for it or not, it came in a powerful wave that forced their lips apart in moan of unified pleasure. They pressed their bodies closer, clutching and grasping at anything that would force them together, anything that would allow them to experience the rush of adrenaline and passion erupting through their lovers body…

They drew apart slowly, little grins touching their lips. If this is what Nick got to look forward to for the rest of his life, why in the hell would Ellis had ever thought he would have wanted anything differently? Silly kid. Smirking at the thought, Nick pulled the other into an admiring kiss.

That's right kid, forever means forever.

* * *

**A/N:** I really shouldn't have written this right now because I am in such a ridiculously excitable mood. I just downloaded the Disneyland ride for Pirates of the Caribbean map for L4D2 and I'm sooooo god damn excited to play it I can hardly contain myself. I'm practically exploding. Midnight Rider's screaming from my laptop isn't helping my poor L4D2 obsessed mind either. Gawd, I've got a problem… but I'm okay with it.

We all knew it was going to end in sex. Gawd, don't act so surprised. After all that effort Ellis put in, WHY NOT?

…I think my cat was judging me while I was writing this chapter… Awwkwwaaard.


	25. Chapter 25

A little over a week after their romantic evening, Nick received his very first piece of mail since the Infection. It was pushed under their door and taped in between two pieces of cardboard—and it was, honestly, the stupidest looking thing they had seen in quite a long time. They spent a good ten minutes simply laughing at it. The only thing that made them not toss it was the fact that it had Nicks name and room address written in big black sharpie across the top (or bottom, who knows). Otherwise, it looked like a piece of trash that someone had angrily shoved under their door for no particular reason. It appeared the military was forced to become more creative with their envelopes.

"Well, ya gonna open it?" Ellis asked, still chuckling quietly at the pathetic piece of mail.

"I suppose. I hope they didn't do a background check on me or something." The conman flipped the cardboard letter around in his hands a few times, trying to figure out how to open it. He settled with peeling off one of the corners. "Oh well, look at this. Real paper. How sweet of them." When he slipped the letter free, he took a moment to smooth out the crease and began to read. It was about three seconds in that his little grin disappeared and instead took on a look of utter panic.

"Nick?" Ellis voiced, concerned. "Wha' is it?" He leaned around the other and began to read:

Dear Nicholas J. Gates

We are pleased to inform you that your family member(s) _See List Below_ are in the process of being relocated from _Lincoln Mid-Western Evacuation Center/North Atlantic Vessel #3_ to _New Orleans South Evacuation Center/ South Atlantic Vessel #14._ Estimated time of arrival is between _January 25_ and _January 28_. Please keep yourself updated with arrival of new passengers and help keep the process smooth by locating your family member(s) on your own accord. If you find yourself in need of assistance locating family members please contact your closest Admissions officer.

Sincerely,

_Rita Gartner_

Department of Defense

_Family Members_:

Emily S. Welsh

Michael A. Welsh

Stacy R. Welsh

Erin A. Welsh

"Hol-ee shit." For lack of better words, that was really the only thing Ellis could think to say. Nick looked at him—he looked stunned. There was a long moment in which they simply stared at each other.

And then Nick seemed to snap out of his stupor. He threw the letter aside and bounded forward. "Ellis? Ellis, what's your last name?" He grabbed the other insistently and shook him. Ellis stared, wide-eyed and tried to speak but Nick was shaking him so hard his teeth chattered together when he tried. "Give me your last name and I'm going to go down to the office and change my last name to your last name."

"Huh? Wha'? Why?" Ellis grabbed Nicks hands firmly and Nick finally stopped shaking him. Ellis' face scrunched with confusion. "Tha' don' make no sense."

"Makes perfect sense, Ellis. Then they can't find me." Nick released the other finally and began to pace. One hand reached up to nervously worry his lips as his eyes searched the ground frantically. "This is no good. No good at all. It's just a mistake. They'll buy that. Just think that some name got scrambled up together. Right? I can fix this." He stopped pacing and turned to look pleadingly at the staring southerner. "Right?" he repeated, more instantly.

Ellis frowned. "Nick, yer actin' crazy…"

"No, nononono. Ellis. I'm acting perfectly reasonable!" He straightened, but in reality he only managed to look more insane. "Perfectly."

"No," Ellis said slowly. He stepped forward, patting the air delicately. "Ya need ta calm down, Nick. Le's jus' take a moment ta think here 'bout wha's goin' on."

"Ellis. Without my permission _you_ gave that thick-headed moron my god damn sisters name and location. And I can only, _only_ imagine that the reasons why she's moving from _there_ to _here_ is because of a certain notification that alerted her to my location." Nick didn't exactly sound angry, but more panic-stricken. He was talking so fast Ellis almost couldn't even follow his train of thought.

"Um… Wait… Okay, hold on. Ya don' wanna see her?" Ellis itched his cheek, confused. He frowned. "Why not? I though' tha' ya said yew'd think 'bout it."

Nick made a face before throttling the air. "_God,_ Ellis. We've gone through this. I can't just walk back into her life after fifteen years of abandonment!"

"But she's walkin' back inta yers," Ellis pointed out. Nicks mouth dropped open slightly, eyes searching the air in between them. He looked like he was really trying to find an argument in that fact. But he was failing miserably. His horrified gaze returned to Ellis. "Look," Ellis said gently, "her showin' up here is jus' showin' tha' she still cares an' stuff. I mean… Look." He picked up the fallen letter. "She's even got her husband an' kids with her an' stuff. Tha's cool. Yer an uncle, Nick. Hey, Nick? Where ya goin'?" The conman had retreated into the bathroom and closed the door. Ellis sighed quietly before moving to the door and knocking gently. "Nick?" He knocked again. "Nick? I'm comin' in."

When he moved inside Nick was curled up in the corner, wedge between the bathtub and sink. He looked pale, rather faint and really, really ill. Nick gave the other a long look before pressing his face into his upraised knees. "I have to fix this, Ellis. I can't do this."

Ellis frowned worriedly and sat nearby the older man. He prodded him gently in the legs and Nick simply shook his head in response. "Nick?" He prodded him again. "Nick?" Again. "Maybe this ain't a bad thing. Maybe it's a good thing. A chance fer ya ta get yer family back." Nick mumbled something into his knees. "Wha'?"

"I said," came the muffled reply. Ellis strained hard to make out the words. "_I don't want to._"

"Sure ya do. Ya jus' don' know it righ' now. Yer in shock is all."

"No."

"Nick." The young man lifted the letter, shaking it next to Nicks ear. "This lil' piece of paper here is God's way of sayin' tha' ya need ta own up ta yer past an' give new meain' ta tamorrow."

Nick lifted his face and he glared. "Let's not pull the God bullshit card. Especially after all this shit. I ain't buyin' that."

"Well, maybe it's _fates_ way of bringin' ya back tagether."

"No. The fault lies with you and Coach. Seeing as you two have knack for shoving your faces into other people's business."

"Don' blame us, Nick." Although Ellis said it seriously, he could feel himself smiling. He hoped Nick wouldn't get angry.

"I'm blaming you." It was odd. Nick was still glaring, but there wasn't any hatred behind that glare. It was like a pouty glare that a stubborn kid gave their mom when they didn't want to eat their vegetables or clean their room. It wasn't intimating at all and maybe that was why Ellis wasn't feeling guilty.

"Le's jus' think 'bout this 'fore ya go an' do somethin' rash."

"No." Nick buried his face back into his knees stubbornly.

Ellis had never had to play the parent role in any situation, ever. It was kind of strange that he found himself having to with Nick—of all people. It was like he retracted into a child-like rendition of himself. Which, oddly, made sense to Ellis. It was like he reverted back to that age of when he had left—that stubborn twenty-year old that was positive that the decision he made wasn't hurting anyone and was only benefiting everyone.

"Nick," Ellis shuffled closer, tugging at the mans legs. He pulled Nicks legs into his lap and Nick was forced to sit back, unable to hide his face in his arms anymore. The conman sighed heavily, dropping his head back against the wall. He refused to look the other in the eye. "Nick… This ain't a bad thing."

"Nngh," came the annoyed noise of retort.

"Wha' are ya so afraid of?" That hit a nerve. The older man flinched visibly. "She still loves ya, Nick. I'm sure she fergive's ya an' everythin'. She jus' wan's ta be with ya again. It's proof tha' she's comin' here. I say give her a chance. Le' her see her lil' brother in the flesh again…" Ellis reached over to tug at the others sleeve. "Come on, Nick. Give her the chance ta have her lil' brother back."

"I'm not a kid anymore, Ellis. And neither is she. This isn't going to be like a little family reunion between a brother and sister that hasn't seen each other over a few Christmas. This is… This is…" He shook his head. "This is fucking ridiculous, is what it is. This whole fucking thing is ridiculous."

"Jus' a lil' bump in the road s'all it is, Nick."

"Nothing phases you, does it?"

"Hate me fer it?"

Nick chuckled. "No… Of course not. But… shit, have a little sympathy for me, won't you? I really didn't want to do this. It's being forced onto me without my consent." He sighed, shuffling his legs and Ellis let him go. The conman freed himself from the corner he had wedged himself into and readjusted himself to sit beside the southerner. He let out a long sigh, hands wringing together nervously. "Jesus… I'm like… an uncle. I guess I never really thought about it… What are their names again?" Nick leaned close and Ellis retrieved the paper, holding it up for both of them to look at. "Stacy and Erin, yeah? Huh…" He sighed again, resting his head against the Ellis' shoulder in gentle surrender. "I don't even know what the date is today."

"We can probably jus' open the door an' yell at someone when they walk by."

"Why would you yell?" Nick asked, chuckling quietly.

"I nno," Ellis shrugged. "Keeps life interestin', I guess."

"Yeah? I think they'd probably think you went nutty demanding the date so angrily from them."

Ellis shrugged, grinning slightly. "So… Are ya okay with this? We don' gatta run down ta the office an' get yer name changed?"

"…I'm not committing to anything yet, but as of right now I'll just sit on the idea."

"Dang, it'd been like we was married or somethin'."

Nick smirked. "Ellis, we both know you're the girl in the relationship. You'd be changing _your_ last name."

"Well, I suppose if I ever gat ta marry ya, I suppose I ain't gonna complain. I don' think we can get married in North Carolina though."

"Let's talk about the "m" word later. For now, that word is banned from conversation."

Ellis laughed. "All right, all right. So… whatcha wanna do now?"

"I suppose we should… figure out what today is. It has to be around the twenty-third. Shit, their mail system really sucks. I get like two days to figure out what the fuck I want to do."

"Well." Ellis climbed to his feet and then offered his hands to the other. "We better get our asses movin' then."

Nick felt the corner of his mouth twitching into a smile and he took the mans hands. It seemed he could count on Ellis to smooth over just about anything.

Yeah… maybe this whole sudden reunion shit was actually a good thing.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for missing an update, guys. I was super sick yesterday and I didn't have the attention span nor the ability to sit in place long enough to write a coherent sentence.

When writing this, for some reason it was very animated and sitcom like in my head. –snort-

Note: This story will end when Nick and Ellis get home (yes, home XD). I figured that's probably the most reasonable (although consequently relatively long way to go) place to end.


	26. Chapter 26

Nick drew in a slow breath, eyes wandering to the hundreds of new faces mingling around on the ship's deck. How in the hell he found himself standing out here was rather a mystery. It was as though those three days ago while sitting with Ellis he had unconsciously made up his mind. And although they had never really discussed where he officially stood on the whole 'meeting your long lost sister' issue, they still found themselves checking the incoming survivor list daily.

It was today that they got the confirmation they needed. Somewhere in here… somewhere in this new mass of people wandering around, was his sister. And god forbid she'd spot him first. I mean… did he even look the same as he did all those years ago? Did she? Would they even recognize each other if they saw each other? What if—

"Nick?" He blinked once at the voice, feeling every muscle in his body tensing and then suddenly a wave of dizziness hit him. His legs trembled under him, but he somehow managed to turn to face the new voice. And, God. It was her. It was really, really her… She still retained that same prettiness he remembered, almost as though he had just stepped on that train for Chicago. There was no denying who she was. "Nick… is that you?" she quietly asked again.

He blinked slowly at the woman. His lips moved to form words but nothing really came out, just silent words that no person could have possibly hoped to understand. But it was his eyes that betrayed him. Those green-gold eyes so alike to hers that confirmed the words he couldn't speak. She let in a startled little gasp, one hand reaching up to cover her mouth.

"Hey, Emily..." It was the only thing he could think to say.

She dropped everything she was carrying—what little worldly possessions she had managed to obtain in this hellish Infection—and threw her arms around him in a desperate embrace. At first Nick simply stood blinking stupidly. What now? She hugged him tighter, sobbing as she did and he felt a shudder of guilt. In the corner of his eye he could see that Ellis was giving him an insistent nod of his head that pretty much said 'hugging-her-back-would-be-a-good-idea'. And so he did.

As he held her, he didn't now whether to laugh or to cry. But whatever he was feeling, his emotions seemed to pile together to form a bewildered state. He blinked widely and risked a few glances at her still-sobbing face before he let his gaze lift back up to stare wide-eyed into the distance. Well, holy shit. He could feel his heart thundering in his chest, it was almost painful.

Emily regained some of her composure and she finally removed herself from her brothers arms. She was smiling now and she brushed at her tears. "My God, Nick… Where have you been? Where did you go?" She reached up to touch his face affectionately, eyes searching his. "You've grown so much… It's been so long."

Was he supposed to answer those questions? He figured yes—but not now. "Yeah, it has been... some time."

There was a long silence as they simply stared at each other—trying hard to recall every half-forgotten memory that would remind them that they weren't strangers, but brother and sister. But shit… fifteen years pretty much made you a stranger, didn't it?

"Emily?" Well that had to be Michael. The man cautiously moved forward, two little girls in tow on each hand. Both of the children were staring at Nick and he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. He decided to not look at them directly; all considering he wouldn't even know where to begin.

"Oh, right." She laughed absently. "Nick, you remember Michael, don't you?" They gave each other nods of acknowledgement—although Michael seemed to have an underlying glare. Well, Nick didn't blame him. "And these are my girls, Erin—" That was the older one—practically a spitting image of her mother when she was that age; green-gold eyes, dark hair and a shy little smile. "And Stacy…"

"Are you my uncle?" Stacy asked, staring with wide-eyed wonder.

Nick blinked once. "I… I guess I am, yes."

Stacy beamed, waving enthusiastically. "Hi Uncle Nick!" Well, wasn't that just cute.

Nick smiled gently. "Hey there."

"Here's an idea," Ellis said suddenly. Nick looked to him, one eyebrow raised. "Uh… I'm Ellis by the way. I'm Nick's friend. I can help ya'll find yer room an' stuff. I mean, I ain't _tha'_ good at all them directions stuff, but I'll find it. An' while we're off explorin' we can le' Nick an' Emily here do some catchin' up."

_Ellis, you fucking asshole!_ Leave him alone with her? What the fuck! "Ellis…" Nick started in between clenched teeth, his voice low. "I thought we agreed you were going to stay with me."

Ellis shrugged slightly, talking through the corner of his mouth; "Changed my mind, Nick." The little southerner bounced to Emily's side. "If ya like, I can carry yer things ta yer room fer ya, Ma'am."

"Oh, yeah… " She reached down to lift her luggage. "Sure, thank you, Ellis…"

Her baggage in hand and grinning from ear to ear Ellis ushered the rest of the Welsh family away. "All righty, ya'all. I know exactly where ya'll gatta go—well, sorta. Yer gonna love New Orleans! Ya ever been here 'fore? I mean we's got some bad weather sometimes in the south, but really it ain't so bad. An' I don' mean ta brag, but we got the best food in all America an'—" Nick scowled as he watched the retreating group disappear off the deck.

"Nick?"

He jerked back to attention. Emily was staring at him, eyes softer now, more worried and filled with sadness. He felt another pang of guilt in his chest that made his heart hurt. "…Yeah?"

"Sit with me." She took his hand and lead him from the mingling groups and found a quieter corner. She sat herself on the deck and stared up at him, waiting for him to join her. He hesitated a moment before doing so. "Nick… where have you been? We thought you were dead."

Dead? He didn't think he left that impression at all, but come to think of it, falling off the face of the earth was pretty close to being dead, wasn't it? "I went east," he finally said. God, how that sounded so stupid.

She shook her head, very confused. "Why?"

He shrugged slightly. "I wanted to get away, I guess."

"From what? You just left… without a word. For what reason?" Was that a hint of anger? Probably.

"I guess I got sick of the fighting. I got sick of listening to Dad's bullshit or Mom crying. I just… couldn't deal with it anymore…"

Emily didn't say anything at first. She simply tucked her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. She stared off into the horizon in silence. Nick desperately wanted her to say something. Finally she shook her head once. She was smiling, but it was mirthless smile. "Dad died a year after you disappeared."

Nick felt his heart plummet and his eye twitched. "He… what?"

"He got in a car accident on the way home from the bar sometime around Thanksgiving." She shook her head slowly. "It was awful."

"Jesus Christ," he breathed. What in the fuck…? He probably should have been alarmed by his lack of caring that his father was dead, but instead he found himself more focused on the fact that his death had meant that at _any_ time he could have returned without the burden of his toxic presence. He let out a few shaking laughs and covered his eyes with one hand. All this time… All this fucking time… he could have just gone home… All this fucking time…

"And Mom wouldn't leave the house after you left. Not ever." Now there was definitely a hint of anger laced in her tone. Nick reluctantly met her gaze. "She would just sit on the porch every day, Nick. Just waiting for you to come back. She said she wanted to be there when you did. She wanted to make sure someone was there when you came home." Emily bit her lip, obviously trying to fight off tears. "Even when CEDA came and told everyone to evacuate, she still refused. It wasn't even a day after Michael and I took the kids and left that the Infection hit Omaha."

"I… I don't know what to say." And he didn't. All he could feel was overwhelming guilt and shame that was almost suffocating. God, how his chest hurt with misery.

Emily let out a noise of exasperation. "A 'sorry' would be a good start."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, painfully. "I really am. I'm sorry."

She sighed, tucking back a lock of her long hair that was so similar to his. God, growing up everyone use to think that they were twins. Even though she was older she had always been small and petite, making their five year difference almost incomprehensible. He wondered if people still thought they were twins as they sat side-by-side with that same almost mirror like imagery of each other.

"Em?" Nicknames still? Did he even have the right to call her that? She looked to him, smiling slightly at the nickname. "What… what about Eric?"

She sighed quietly. "Eric moved to California about six years ago. We haven't heard anything from or about him…" she trailed off. "He got his life back together after you left, you know. We spent three years looking for you… And he quit all that drinking just so he could actually help. It was sheer will alone that got him through it. I've never seen anyone so brave. The detoxing was horrible, but he stuck with it. You would have been proud of him, Nick… He did do it for you."

"Yeah…" Nick said softly, smiling. Well, it appeared that at least one good thing had come out of him leaving.

Emily shifted forward suddenly and gently gripped Nicks arm. Her eyes were pleading. "Nick? Come back to Omaha with us."

Omaha? He stared back. "I'm sorry, Emily… I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't belong there. It's not my home anymore…"

She sat back again, frowning. "I never would have thought you'd want to live in New Orleans."

"No, I was only in the south for—" he paused briefly, "—business. I just got caught up in an outbreak…" He hesitated again. "I live in North Carolina." Well, will be—but she didn't need to know about his lack of commitment to a real home all these years.

"Oh…" She seemed to think for a moment. "Where'd you meet that guy at then? He sounds southern… really southerner…"

"What guy—oh… Ellis?" Nick chuckled. "Funny story, actually. Got my ass literally stuck in the middle of an outbreak and when I tried to catch one of the evacuation helicopters, the fuckers left us right there on the top of a burning building. Ellis and I fought with a girl from Ohio and another guy. We came from Savannah to New Orleans." He grinned mockingly. "It was a fun trip."

"You… you _fought_ your way to New Orleans? From Georgia? What…? I don't understand?" She stared. "Why didn't you evacuate when you were supposed to?"

Oh, if only it had been that simple. "Savannah didn't really have a mandatory evacuation, I don't think so anyways. When the Infection hit, it pretty much spread instantaneously and with little warning. CEDA was so fucked up and disorganized that they ended up leaving hundreds, probably thousands of Survivors behind." He shrugged slightly. "Most of them died or became Infected themselves. Believe me, I know."

"I… I didn't know… I thought that most people got evacuated…" She blinked, searching the ground. "I guess I didn't know any differently. We were one of the first groups evacuated in the Mid-West. I guess I never dreamed that anyone had to… fight... their way through any of that. I've seen news coverage of the Infection… I can't believe you were in all that… I mean…" She paused awkwardly. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" he asked, smirking.

"You look… oddly content." She tilted her head. "I mean… when I saw you standing there you looked understandably nervous… But… you were standing with that guy and I _swear_ you were holding hands… And you looked happy." Nick flushed. "You were holding his hand, weren't you?"

"Well… In the south… They uh…" Well man-hand-holding wasn't exactly smiled upon in the bible belt here. That wasn't a good lie. "Well… That's… That's Ellis for you." To be fair, that wasn't exactly a lie.

"Are you in love with him?" He looked sharply at her, but she was smirking slightly. "Wow, I didn't think you were into that. But I guess times have changed. He is pretty cute. He seems like a real handful though." Nick continued to stare. "What? You think I care? I haven't seen you for fifteen years, Nick. The last thing I'm going to do is nitpick about your lifestyles. I really honestly don't care how you go about your personal life. You're my brother… and I love you." He still stared. "The proper response to that would be 'I love you too, big sister'."

Nick finally seemed to snap out of it. He grinned. "I love you too, big sister."

"Well, now that that's settled," she shifted over and with a little sigh drew him into another hug. "I'm so glad to have found you again, Nick."

He blinked once before a smile found his lips, "Yeah, me too."

He returned the embrace without any hesitation this time.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope Emily's not annoying. I really debated the whole bringing in an OC thing, but I figured it would have been incomprehensible to not have her try and contact him after figuring out he's alive. I promise to not involve her _too_ much since I understand that she's… not a L4D2 character and no one cares LOL. I reckon there's only about 5ish chapters left… then again, I'm bad at that estimating. Could be more or less lol


	27. Chapter 27

Nick learned a few things in the coming days. One—he was instantly cool because he knew what Phineas and Ferb was (Nick almost died laughing when Erin and Ellis began to excitedly recall their favorite episodes), two—he was now officially the coolest person in the world because he knew how to make amazing card-houses, three—being a kid automatically made everyone new their best friend (the girls had instantly taken on to calling him Uncle and barely a day after meeting, they had started to tag 'Uncle' onto Ellis' name as well (who about fainted with happiness the first few times)) and four—he was actually pretty damn good at the whole family thing. And it was only easier by the fact that Emily was more intent on making up for lost time instead of dwelling on it. Even Michael had lost some of his uneasiness after a few days together… Yeah, the last six days had turned out to be rather… relaxing…

Occasionally, however, Emily would press him on his life. It was obvious that she wanted to know a few more details about what Nick had been doing all this time (understandably). But he had usually managed to distract her with a new question of his own or by lightly touching on the subject enough to satisfy her curiosity. From what she had gathered, though, he had been something like a traveling musician that often liked to pass their free time with some good ol' fashion game of cards or pool…

Whatever she had pieced together, the answers worked enough to bring her questions to a minimum—however misleading and skewed of an image it was.

He had debated whether even telling her he had been married, but figured it was irrelevant. It had been so long ago and in his younger years. Talking about it would have been like recalling a dream from when you were a kid—a dream that had always vividly stuck with you as you grew up, but as the years went by the details became lost and replaced by whatever your mind figured best fit. Yeah… it was best to just leave her, all the gambling and conning out of it. At least for now...

And because the kids had taken on such an attachment to both Nick and Ellis, Michael had suggested that they let the two babysit the girls while they got a break from parenting for at least a few hours. It had been months since they had last spent time alone and, to be honest, Ellis was probably the best sort of babysitter you could possibly hope to find… Well, fun-wise. Which was why handing them over to _both_ Nick and Ellis was ideal—Ellis was the fun and entertaining one while Nick was logical and malleable. That would keep anything dangerous to an absolute minimum (considering Ellis seemed to really lack any good judgment on such things).

And so, the four found themselves sitting in a small circle, a pile of cards face down in the middle. It was a card game that Nick actually had to have _explained_ to him. Go Fish, despite being orientated towards small children—was actually pretty complicated…

"Uncle Ellis!" Erin called, "Do you have any fours?"

Ellis took a moment to intensely look over his cards before he grinned. "Go fishin'!" The little girl eagerly grabbed a new card from the 'ocean' and gave it a satisfied nod.

Now, although Nick was playing cards (it was still cards, damn it) with an six year old, eight year old and twenty-three year old it still didn't keep him from counting cards or mentally noting where every single card's chance of being was. It did, however, keep him from picking on his nieces. Ellis, though, got the full brunt of every attack.

"Ellis, give me your queens," he said absently, holding out his hand.

Ellis made a noise. "I swear, man. Yer always pickin' on me!" He handed over his three queens, sighing. Nick took them and placed them face up in front of him—now having all four smiling up for everyone to see. He was in the lead with 5 full suits.

"My turn, my turn!" Stacy called, bouncing excitedly. "Uncle Nick! Do you have any eights?"

"Well, look at that, it appears I do." He slid the two eights from his hand and handed them over to her. She beamed, ecstatic to have her very first full suit and laid it down proudly before them.

"All right… Nick." Ellis eyed the conman hard—as if looking at him with such intensity would give him sudden psychic abilities to see if the card he had in mind was actually in the Nicks hand. Nick raised an eyebrow, obviously not intimated in the least. "Do you have any twos?"

"Nope."

"Dang it." The mechanic sighed and grabbed a card from the pile.

"Uncle Ellis~!" Erin sang. Ellis groaned, knowing exactly what was about to come. "Do you have any twos?"

"Why is everyon' pickin' on me?" Ellis whined, handing over his twos. Despite his obvious lack of luck, Ellis was still grinning good-naturedly. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it! No one peek at my cards!" He bounced to his feet and ran to the door, opening it quickly. "Hi."

"Are you… Mr. Gates or Mr. Rafferty?" It was a military man holding a stack of papers in his hand.

"Uh… yeah. The second one."

"This is a notice from the Department of Defense. We will be moving to land shortly and anyone with known Immunities is being given approval to leave the military outposts and return to their homes. Information about the Infection and sanitation processes are included in the lettering. You and Mr. Gates have been approved to leave and it is greatly encouraged that when we return to shore that you will take that opportunity to return to your homes." He handed the letters over. "It will be in one week that all vessels will be returning to docks. Please consider returning to your homes as soon as you can." With a brief nod the man looked at his list and then started down the hall without another word.

Ellis blinked, closing the door. He eyed the letters. "So… we're Immune… so they wanna get us outta here so… tha' they got less people ta have ta worry 'bout? I mean… man, tha' was pretty quick, wannit?"

"Well, I would assume that they've spent the last few months…" Nick hesitated, aware that he had young ears in the room. "…cleaning out the Infection and I can only imagine that there's been a lot of effort into the clean up. They're probably only sending Immunes out right now because… well, we can't get Infected if there happens to be a few stragglers left…" He frowned thoughtfully. "I guess it has been months since the first Infection. I would guess a good majority of Infected simply," he shrugged lightly, "_perished_ from lack of… uh… food."

"Yeah, I guess tha' makes sense." Ellis returned to his spot on the floor.

"Uncle Nick, are you leaving again?" Erin asked.

Nick shuffled his cards in his hand to distract himself from those big-worried eyes. "Well, yeah…"

"But, we just got to meet you!"

Nick shifted uncomfortably. "Well… there's still…uh… Christmas."

"We just had Christmas, Uncle!" Erin reminded, not buying it. Stacy nodded in agreement. They both now stared demandingly at him.

"Um…" Nick looked pleadingly to Ellis who shrugged unhelpfully. God damn it… What comes next? December is Christmas… January is New Years, well shit, already did that. February… nothing… March… nothing… April… Easter? "Uh… There's always Easter?" He didn't even celebrate Easter.

"Are you gonna come visit us?" Erin asked hopefully. "You and Uncle Ellis?"

"Uh…"

"O' course we will!" Ellis chimed in. "Ain't nothin' more we'd like ta do. Though it's gonna be real hard movin' 'round fer a while, but we'll keep in touch an' stuff ta make sure we can see ya'll again real soon, okay?"

"Promise?" Stacy questioned, tugging at Nicks sleeve.

The conman let out a little chuckle. "I promise…"

"Cross your heart!" Erin piped.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Cross my heart," he said, making a cross over his heart.

"Now pinky swear!" Stacy insisted, holding out her pinky.

Nick laughed. "All right, all right. I pinky swear too." And he did. Satisfied, Erin nodded to her sister who nodded back, both convinced that they had just sealed an unbreakable contract with their Uncle. But, to be fair, Nick had no intentions of breaking their promise…

…Three Go Fish games later (Nick won all three and everyone had given up) and a half hours worth of cartoons in (something with a sponge talking that really made no logical sense to Nick's badly confused brain), Emily and Michael returned to retrieve the kids who had fallen asleep watching the television. With a few quiet thanks yous and promises to meet for dinner, they all left.

Nick quickly went to work picking up the cards and every other little thing the two (three) kids had managed to misplace. "Jesus, it's like they had to touch everything." He frowned, picking up their alarm clock that had for some reason ended up on the ground. He set it back onto their nightstand.

"Man, we'd be _such_ good parents, Nick."

"Uh-uh. That conversation joins the banned "m" word conversation too." Nick shuffled the cards back into their case and then tossed it onto the nightstand too. With a sigh he fell onto the bed backwards next to Ellis.

Instantly the young man reached over and began to thread Nicks hair through his fingers obsessively. "Nick…? Are we gonna like… leave when we get back ta shore? Jus' up an' go? Ya jus' got back with yer family an' stuff…"

Nick let out a suppressed sigh. "I know, Ellis. I know… I mean… I'm glad you talked me into not running away from seeing her again… But I can only handle it for so long, you know?" The look Ellis was giving him told him that, no, Ellis hadn't a clue what he meant. "I really don't know how you stand being around people all the time, Ellis," Nick said with a short laugh. "You're like a social butterfly. I can only grin and bare it for as long as I can."

"I though' ya was enjoyin' it though?"

"I am. I just need… breaks, you know? That's why families move out and away from each other and only come back during holidays. You love them, but you just don't want to be constantly entertaining them." Ellis itched the back of his head, frowning. He looked like he was trying very hard to comprehend exactly what Nick was talking about. "God, it's like you've never gone a day without talking to your family."

Ellis blinked down at him. "I di'n't."

"…Oh." Nick frowned slightly.

Ellis leaned down and kissed the other on the forehead. "So, ya better have a good phone an' all, 'cause Imma be callin' yer family all the time. Okay?"

"Fff… Well, who knows if the phone lines even work… Jesus, I still can't believe they're already trying to kick us out into the streets again." He tilted his head around so he could look at the papers lying on the nightstand, still unopened. "Why don't you grab one of those and see what bullshit they've got hidden inside."

Ellis stretched across the bed to grab one of them and then tore it open, handing it to the other. Nick read it in silence, making a few noises of ridicule the further into the letter he got.

Finished he huffed and waved it in the air. "Jesus. So I guess they're practically giving incentives for anyone willing to leave the safety of the military outposts and begin to help with the clean-up and whatnot. They'll provide a vehicle of transportation as well as a month worth of supplies… Although they're still pretty unwilling to hand over any firearms… But, fuck that, I'm not going anywhere Infection or not anymore without a god damn gun." He shrugged at Ellis who gave him a puzzled look. "Everyone's crazy now, Ellis. I don't trust people."

"Ya _never_ trusted people."

Nick shrugged again. "But… yeah… wanna get a jump-start on the masses?"

"Sure." Ellis shrugged slightly. "How are ya gonna get into the house though?"

"Break a window?"

Ellis rolled his eyes. "Nick."

"I left my key with my landlord… Though whether he's still alive or not I guess is the question at hand… I'm sure we'll find some way to get in."

"Well… okay. If ya wanna go, then we'll go. Sooner we're home the better…"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Ellis smirked, leaning down again to kiss the other softly on the lips. "An' don't ferget my cat."

Nick laughed. "I wouldn't _dream_ of it, Ellis."

* * *

**A/N:** I summed up a lot of their 'family time' because it's way too many OC's to be burdening the story with and it's really not that significant to the storyline.

They played go fish where you have to get every single suit of the number before you get to lay it down. I personally like the pairs one… but it seemed easier to Nick to pick on Ellis when you had to have all four. LOL


	28. Chapter 28

"You're leaving?" Emily asked flatly, staring.

Nick shifted uncomfortably. Her gentle eyes had suddenly become piercing with suspicion and he found himself oddly intimated. Well… he couldn't exactly say he blamed her for reacting the way she was. "Uh… yeah. That's sort of the general idea."

"Again?" She didn't sound pleased.

"Well… I'm telling you I'm leaving this time…" He tried to smile and hoped he could make a bit of a joke out of the whole thought of him leaving, but the look she gave him told him she wasn't very amused. "Look, I'm going to this address right here." He tried to hand her the address but she didn't take it. She just continued to stare. She almost looked betrayed. "I swear, Emily. I'm going there. When things start to settle down and phone lines and shit get back up, call that number. Or give me yours. Whatever." She was still staring hard, jaw clenched. Her eyes searched his for any signs of deceit. And God, Nick was starting to feel guilty. "Emily," he said again, firmly. "This is for the better of everything."

"And why is that?"

"The military can't possibly keep taking care of all of these people—"

"—That's not your concern, Nicholas. What if there are still Infected out there, then what? What happens if you get caught up in the middle of another outbreak?"

Nick shrugged slightly. "Then I guess we fight our way through it again. We've done it before." She crossed her arms and shook her head, biting at her lip. There were tears in her eyes again. Goddamn it. Why is that women thought they could always pull that crying shit to get their way? "Emily… Come on, I'll be fine. I've got Ellis with me so it's not like I'm traveling alone. I know he comes off as a moron, but he's actually pretty sharp… Em? Come on…" He scooted forward, giving his best smile and holding his arms out for her. With a resigned sigh she shuffled into his arms before hugging him tightly.

"You promise that you're going to be okay? That you're going to call? That you'll be safe and not do anything stupid? Do you promise, Nick? I've lost you once. Please don't make me go through it again. Promise me…"

Nick placed a firm kiss on the top of her head. "I promise, Em. Cross my heart…" He paused. "Should we pinky-swear on it?" He grinned down at her confused stare, but after a moment she smirked back.

"You can't break a pinky promise, Nick," she reminded mockingly, holding up her pinky.

"Exactly," he said, linking them together. "Your kids already informed me of the rules of pinky-swearing."

She laughed. "Oh good. Then you know what you've gotten yourself into." Emily brushed away a few lingering tears before snatching the paper away from him. She held it up for him. "If you don't call, or if this address is wrong; you're going to have one angry woman on your ass."

Nick laughed. "Wouldn't be the first time."

* * *

It was an amazing sight as all of the cruise ships turned their bows northwest. On either side of their ship they could see vessels beginning their journey back to the mainland and it was a rather comforting sight to behold.

At least a dozen ships (and more that were too far away to make out) all sailed smoothly back to New Orleans and although it was difficult to make out any real faces, each ship seemed to be packed full of Survivors on the decks—all hoping to catch glimpses of life besides their own. It was almost like in that moment everyone seemed to come together, forgetting that they were strangers and instead smiled and wept with the realization that so many more had survived. It was really the first time any of the vessels had seen each other. It was the first time they were reassured that all those names really did have a face and a Survivor behind it. It was impossible to deny now—there were still _thousands_ of Survivors and together they would have to rebuild their beloved country.

"Hey, Ellis?" Nick asked quietly, elbowing the mechanic gently. The young man distractedly tilted his head towards Nicks voice, but didn't let his eyes stray away from Vessel #13 cruising beside them. "We need to go down to the Department of Defense and get our ID's so we can leave when the ships dock. They let the Immunes who are going to leave the outpost out first."

"They kept our stuff?" Ellis asked absently.

"Yeah. It said so in the letters. Ellis?" The southerner finally looked at him and his eyes were wide with wonderment. "…Are you sure you want to go? There's a chance it's still dangerous. I don't want you to leave unless you're all for it."

"Hey, man, it's all good." Ellis tapped his palms on the railing. He was smiling. "I mean, it can't be too bad out there if they're sendin' us out already, ya know? An' besides, I wanna get our lives back ta normal as soon as we can…" He shrugged, smiling still. "So, yeah, Nick, I'm ready ta leave when ya are."

"All right… Good." Nick offered his hand and Ellis grinned before taking it. Ellis let the older man lead him towards the offices.

It ended up taking a relatively short time to make their way through the ship, seeing how most people were gathered on the deck. The only ones left inside totaled, maybe, a couple of hundred. They were either too uncaring of the outside world to bother with the spectacle taking place outside or they were trying to get permission to leave the ship upon docking.

"I can help you here," a man said, waving them over as they entered a small and sparsely occupied room. "Have you been given permission by the D.D. to leave?"

"Yep," Ellis chimed. "Both of us."

"All right. I'll need your full names, birthdates, social security and signatures here noting that you have read the letters and understand the dangers of leaving the military outposts."

It took them barely ten minutes to fill out a sheet of questions and information pertaining to their release and when they were finished the man gave them each a silver bracelet that locked in place with a strange little magnetic wand.

"You won't be able to take that off for quite awhile," the man said. "It's for security reasons. When you get to the docks show it to whoever is maintaining the gates and they'll provide you with a vehicle and supplies for the trip. They will give you information on where supply outposts will be along the highways you travel as well as the supply outpost closest to your homes… Let me grab your personal belongings. One second please." He turned around to another window on the other side of the room before grabbing two small boxes. He returned. "This is for… Mr. Gates," he handed the box to Nick, "And this is Mr. Rafferty… Is everything in order?"

The two opened the boxes and found that the only real objects that had been deemed worth keeping were their driver licenses, credit and debit cards and anything else that could have been washed cleaned and sanitized. Any and all money had been replaced with a piece of paper indicating the amount of money confiscated and a check from the military for the amount. (Although Nick doubted that most people would get refunded, considering how ridiculously poor the country had to be now after all this Infection bullshit).

Nick was also mildly surprised to find that his rings had been returned to him. He lifted them up one by one and examined them fondly before returning them to their rightful places on his fingers.

"Well I got everything worth keeping, I guess," Nick said.

"I ain't got my hat…" Ellis said, sighing with disappointment. "Man… tha' was from our shop too…"

"Sorry, sir. All clothing was burned," the soldier said, smiling apologetically.

"Yeah, I know." Ellis sighed again. "Still a shame though. Tha' hat was with me fer a loooong time. Imma miss it."

Nick would have teased Ellis that it was 'just a hat', but the hat—despite how silly Nick thought it was—held significance to the kid. So instead of giving him a playful jab the conman gently patted the other on the shoulder sympathetically. Ellis half smiled at him before moving all his belongings into his pockets.

"All righ', Nick. I guess we jus' gatta wait now."

"Yeah… I guess so."

Nick took Ellis' hand again and he lead them to the area designated for all Immunes departing upon arrival. At least he had said goodbye to Emily and the kids already. Nick found an odd painful ache in his chest at the thought that their departure was coming to finalization. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to say a goodbye to them without shedding a few tears… It had been hard enough with Emily and the girls crying (as well as Ellis) during the goodbyes. Now that he thought about it, he wondered why he hadn't cried. It was obvious that he was going to miss them… But with a sigh, Nick realized that crying would have just made it _that_ much harder to leave. Well… He was going to see them for Easter. That thought made him grin and Ellis looked at him curiously.

"Wha'?" Ellis asked. He grinned slightly, unable to help himself as Nicks smile became a little more noticeable. He bumped his hip gently against Nicks when the other didn't respond. "Why ya smilin' like tha'?"

"Because I want to," the conman replied, flashing a perfect smile at the other.

Ellis seemed satisfied with this answer because he grinned back before lifting the others hand in his and kissed it firmly.

…It wasn't much of a wait. They seemed to have timed everything perfectly because it was barely twenty minutes after they had come into the waiting room before the cruise ship had docked and a group of military men and women began to direct the hundred or so Immunes out onto dry land.

It was a very odd sensation upon having their feet on ground again. Nick had become so accustomed to the gentle rocking of the ship that he felt almost like his body was still trying to maintain that gentle sway. He felt strange walking on dry land and he could tell that Ellis was having a difficult time too since he kept staring at the ground as though he was trying to get a better read on why his body was acting so funny to the lack of movement. Well... at least he wasn't the only one.

At each new fenced off area they came to, they were asked to show their bracelets and it had to be about five exits later that they came to the 'gate' as promised.

"All right, bracelets please," a woman said. They showed it to her and she read the number across it. She flipped through several pages on her clipboard. "All right. You two are traveling about 800 miles to North Carolina." She unclipped the paper and handed it to them. "That's directions from New Orleans to Oak Ridge, you'll see that there are several spots marked where you can find military outposts and resupply. I highly suggest you follow the directions because for sure those highways have been cleared for travel. There is enough food and gas in the vehicle to bring you to your destination. You are still encouraged to stop at the outposts to check in with the military so we can track your progress, but feel free to skip some of them. Please be sure to listen to any and all instructions from military personnel, do not argue or act suspiciously when they confront you otherwise you will be detained. Do you have any questions?"

"Uh… how reliable are these vehicles?" Nick asked.

"They've been fully inspected by our mechanics and have been adjusted for your travel needs and lengths. Also, when you near your city of..."

"…Oak Ridge," Ellis offered brightly.

"Yeah, Oak Ridge, you'll have to check in with the closest outpost. They'll trade in the military vehicle for a different one that is capable of traveling smaller distances so you can resupply when needed until your city becomes capable of providing provisions for itself. You will be escorted to your destination from this outpost."

"What happens if we run into any Infected?" Nick asked.

The woman paused in thought. "I would suggest not leaving your vehicle and driving to the next military outpost. You must report any Infected you may find. Although I am doubtful that you will find any."

Nick snorted. "Well, being doubtful doesn't make it impossible."

She smiled patiently. "No, but we have been very thorough with our sanitation process. Regardless of that fact, you have read and understood the risks of leaving the outpost, correct?"

"Yeah, yeah. All right. I get it. Let's just see this vehicle."

She led them through hundreds of parked military vehicles—some were in better shape than others and it seemed obvious that the farther away you were traveling the better condition of a vehicle you received. The longer they walked the more complex they became. And then they came to a stop.

"All right, here you are." She motioned at a desert camouflaged Humvee that looked strange as hell in New Orleans. "Please follow the directions inside and do not exceed the speed limit asked. You destination is approximately twelve hours away. If you don't meet the last outpost checkpoint in three days, we will be notified and the GPS system in the car will locate you. We will be able to give assistance if you need it…" She paused. "Or a stern warning to move faster. I implore you to try and make this trip as short as possible."

Ellis, however, wasn't listening. He stood staring at the large Humvee with a look of absolute awe. At least Nick was listening. He nodded a few times as she spoke and when she finished he took the keys from her. With an exchange of good lucks and thank yous, the conman turned to their designated vehicle. Ellis was still staring in opened-mouth admiration.

"Man… I've _always_ wanted ta drive one of these. Can I drive Nick? Please?" He turned to the other and began to bounce excitedly, tugging at Nicks clothes insistently. "Oh, please, please, please, Nick. Please!"

"All right, you can drive," Nick laughed, handing the keys to the other. Ellis was beyond himself with excitement. He dropped the keys twice as he ran to the drivers side and it took him almost a full minute to get his shaking hand to place the key into the ignition. Nick rolled his eyes and took up the passenger seat. "Ellis. Don't make me regret this."

Ellis looked at him and he was grinning so big that Nick could only laugh loudly in response to that grin. "Where we headin', Nick?" the young man whispered excitedly.

Shaking his head, Nick flipped opened the directions. "It says to follow the signs to I-10 East. We'll be on that bitch for a hundred thirty-four miles."

"Ah man," Ellis whispered, hands gripping the steering wheel excitedly. "This is gunna be _awesome_! I _love_ road trips!" Ellis looked at Nick and his smile became soft. "Time ta go home. Ya ready?"

Nick smiled back. "Yeah. Let's get started."

Ellis was more than happy to oblige.

* * *

**A/N:** I would assume that most people got onto ships and stuff before they were in direct contact with Infected, thus why it's hard to determine if they're 'Immune' or not. Anyone being released has had known physical contact with the Infected and screened for the Infection and confirmed to have Immunities. I'm sure _everyone_ was checked for the Infection, but if they hadn't been exposed to it I can imagine it's probably harder to tell for sure if they can become Infected or not…(the more I think about this, the more flawed it seems LOL don't think too hard about it!)

Yes, I really sort of 'rushed' the whole meeting his family and then moving to land—but again, it's because all if it really isn't significant to Ellis and Nick's relationship per se… and so it's not important enough to spend more than a couple of chapters on. I hope it was at least fulfilling enough to satisfy your curiosities.

NOTE: I spent like an hour researching military vehicles and the only one that I could find that made any sense for long-travel and decent speed was the Humvee. I lawled, but… yeah. So please, if it makes no sense, just roll with it. I really tried to do some research. Also, let's assume that at one point they gave the military the info of where they were going so that they could determine all the supplies/gas and shit that they needed. Thanks guys XD


	29. Chapter 29

It was about fifteen minutes into Alabama that Nick began to become aware that he had a sudden and burning desire to strip Ellis naked and fuck him right there in the Humvee. And, well, in his defense Ellis was being _incredibly_ sexy (and sort of annoying and shutting him up would be a nice consequence).

The moment they had crossed into Alabama the kid had started singing _"Sweet Home Alabama"_ over and over as though the song hadn't lost its _oomph_ the first four times. He was smiling enthusiastically as he sang, radiating such a charming and endearing vibe that Nick really couldn't help himself but stare (and the best part was Ellis actually had a pretty god damn good singing voice).

The mechanic drummed his hands on the wheel to keep the beat and he let his accent melt perfectly with the song. He was moving around playfully with the words in an oddly attractive fashion that was impossible for Nick to not notice. Had it been anyone else singing the same song over and over, Nick probably would have opened the door and shoved them right out of the moving car without a second thought. But, damn. This was Ellis and Ellis was being fucking sexy.

Nick felt his heart rate climbing and his breathing became a little more labored—eyes darkening as he watched that adorable little southern belt out another line; "Sweet hoooome Alabama, where the skies are so blue. Sweet hoooome Alabama, Lord I'm comin' home to yoou~" God damn it…

Nick let out a frustrated noise and began to unbutton his shirt, not looking away from the still singing man. "Ellis, pull over," he demanded.

"—Huh, wha'?" Ellis asked, looking quickly over to the other and then back to the road. "Why? Wha's wrong?"

"Pull over," the conman said again. Ellis did as he was told and put the car in park.

"Nick, whas wrong with—" But he never got the finish the sentence. Shirt discarded now the conman had moved across the console separating their seats, grabbed the back of Ellis' head and forced him into a deep kiss as he climbed into his lap. Ellis rolled with it, hands coming up instantly to press the mans warm sides into his palms. When their kiss ended, Nick quickly unbuckled the other and his hands dove instantly to Ellis' zipper. "Gawddamn Nick yer really—"

"Too much talking," Nick breathed, pressing their lips together to silence the other. To be fair, Ellis _had_ been talking or singing practically non-stop on their trip so far. Nick didn't particularly mind that fact, but if Ellis got to talk then he got to have his fix too. It was only fair.

It was ridiculously awkward trying to get the kids pants off in the drivers seat and the wheel kept stabbing into Nicks back as he twisted and tugged the damn things off but he still managed. He threw them into the passenger seat, hand going instantly to cup the others now exposed cock. His fingers flexed and stroked him eagerly and Ellis pressed himself back into the seat—not to get away, but to brace himself for the shudders of pleasure now riddling his body.

Ah, but how the simple stroking motion was so god damn complex in their limited space. Nick let out a irritated sound, readjusting himself—hands forced to reach out to steady himself and consequently putting an end to his half-complete handjob. As he tried to find a comfortable position his backside pressed against the steering wheel again and a ridiculously loud horn sounded—it startled them both.

"Oh for fucks sake," Nick said—he was half laughing and half sincerely pissed off. Ellis only laughed obnoxiously and Nick grinned down at him. The older man now knelt painfully over the other as Ellis tried hard to remove his pants. Again, it became an awkward coaxing and tugging match as Ellis tried hard to figure out which way was the best to remove them. It was almost unsuccessful but Nick ended up crouching in an oddly contorted way to get the stupid things off.

"God fucking damn it," Nick snarled, twisting about. "Not enough room…"

"Make room!" Ellis insisted, adjusting in the seat to try and give the other the space he needed. Nick let out a little chuckle. How eager. How cute.

The older man grabbed Ellis' waist and pulled him closer, "Over here… against the window…" Ellis immediately compromised and with a few adjustments of his legs and arms he found himself pressed up against the cool surface. He half hoped Nick wouldn't get too passionate and crash him right through it… Then again, weren't these things made for—Ellis train of thought disintegrated as Nick readjusted his ankles up onto his shoulders. "Well now…" Nick said, grinning. "I didn't know you were so flexible."

"Uh, yeah," Ellis said, wiggling into a position that was less stressful on his hips. "This won't last long, so ya stop bein' a tease an' hurry the hell up."

"Uh-huh," Nick replied. He brought a small bottle of lotion out from seemingly nowhere and uncapped it.

"Well tha's gonna go far," Ellis replied sarcastically, noting the travel-size proportion.

"Yeah, yeah, at least it's going to good use." And to emphasize his meaning he inserted two full fingers into the other without warning. Ellis' hips bucked involuntarily at the sudden intrusion and let out a little whimper, wincing and gasping. "Ah, I'm sorry," Nick said softly. He placed a gentle kiss against the others calf flexing against his neck. "Thought you were more ready for that."

Ellis clenched his teeth as the other continued to work him in a fashion that was bordering being cruel. For whatever reason, Nick seemed all for watching the young man wither and moan against him, almost struggling to get away from his not-quite-pleasing probing, but not wanting to escape since it wasn't exactly uncomfortable either.

"Oh, fuckin' damn it, Nick," Ellis gasped—and there was a hint of annoyance in his voice. He would have grabbed Nicks hair and tore at it with frustration had he faith he wouldn't slide right down the window into an impossible position of getting fucked. So instead he tensed his arms against the little crevices he had worked himself into and thrust his hips insistently. "Jus' fuck me already!"

Nick did as he was told—not because Ellis sounded so angry (that was actually a rather turn on for him) but because Nick was starting to feel the full effect of his adrenaline rushing through him, making his body swell with anticipation and longing.

And so he entered the other with one smooth motion that was only possible from the ironically awkward position they were in. Nick let out a little laugh of surprise—well, that was easy. Ellis wasn't at all for giggling. Now that it was safe to assume he was now pinned in their love-making position his hands came up to snare into the others hair. And Ellis wasn't at all too pleased from being teased for so long and it was obvious when his legs shifted down from Nicks shoulders and his knees came up to squeeze just under the other mans arms, forcing them into a position that barely allowed any breathing room for either of them.

"Can't really…" Nick muttered, trying to rock his body in and out of the other—but he barely had any room to sway—Ellis was keeping him in a position that was almost maddeningly uncompromising… Oh… Nick felt a grin touching his lips and he winced as Ellis tore at his hair—the kid was smiling wickedly in between his heavy breaths. That was the point… Well fine then. The only thing Nick could do now was press himself in _further_, instead of drawing himself out and pummeling back as he was planning to. He would be forced to make each dip of his hips firm if he wanted this limited movement to work.

And god damn, it did. Ellis' fingers had long ago stopped tearing into Nicks hair and now they pressed against his lovers shoulders, allowing him to arch his back and keep his hips in a better position. Any lingering annoyance that Ellis had from being teased earlier simply melted away as Nick penetrated him so deeply that it was practically forcing him near orgasm each time he moved inside him. And he let Nick know _exactly_ how good it felt. Ellis moaned loudly, gasping and mewling with pleasure with each plunge of their hips.

Each time Ellis came close to orgasming, he would squeeze his legs a little tighter to limit Nicks motions, just enough to bring him just a step below release again and then he'd relax, letting Nick work him back near his climax again. He must of forced Nick to slow down at least six times.

Ellis exhaled until his lungs hurt, absolutely enjoying everything. His shoulders were pressed against the now fogging window and his body rocked and swayed gently against Nicks, leaving him crying out with almost unbearable pleasure. Nicks lips stilled somehow managed to have enough sense to place kisses and nips into the curve of his neck. The flush of their heated and bothered skin was enough to leave them panting and sweating. Oh, yes, this was just… incredible… almost too incredible to bring to an end.

"Nick," Ellis gasped—and oh how Nick _loved_ the way Ellis' voice trembled. He almost lost his rhythm he was admiring the sound of it so much. But then; "Ni-Nick, don' ya dare stop now." Ah, right. Apparently Ellis had taken all he possibly could—and Nick himself was already willing to bring their loving to its peak. The young man moaned under the building pressure but this time he didn't make Nick stop.

The intense euphoria resulting from finally cumming was well worth all the teasing. It was almost debilitating it was so intense. It left their muscles twitching and quivering. They collapsed against each other and tried hard to catch their breaths, hands still absently stroking at each others moisten skin.

Finally, Nick pushed himself up onto his knees and Ellis shifted enough to free himself. "Well…" Nick panted, "No more car sex."

"Bullshit," Ellis replied instantly. His eyes were already darkening with lust and Nick tilted his head slightly, surprised. "Tha' was too fuckin' awesome." The mechanic jerked the other down into a lavishing kiss.

Well… come to think of it—Ellis was probably living his fantasy right now. Being taken in the drivers seat of a big badass Humvee with the smell of everything associated with a car faint all around. Well… being a mechanic Ellis probably found himself in the most ideal place for him to _ever_ get laid. Ah, well… Despite the fact that being jabbed and prodded by all kinds of little mechanical bullshit in the tight space was annoying as fuck, Nick had to admit—the sex was well worth it.

Nick shifted forward, hands trailing down to grip at Ellis' arms. "So much for that twelve hours, huh?" he asked, grinning.

"Nick we got _three_ days ta get home." Ellis shifted himself into a better sitting position and grinned. "Ya ain't gonna pass up on this sorta road trip, are ya? I mean, ya did start it."

Nick frowned thoughtfully, nodding in agreement. Well, the kid had a point. He pressed their lips together firmly—he didn't need any more convincing. This road-trip was definitely going to have to take three days.

* * *

**A/N:** So when I was looking on mapquest for references of cities they were going through/by I happened to catch an "Ellisville" in the corner of my eye on I-59 in Mississippi. I did the gayest little clap/bounce/giggle known to man. I had to share that—not me being gay, but Ellisville. I wanna go there. It sounds _amazing_… -cough- anyways.

I don't know the anatomy of a Humvee inside. Roll with it. XD I listened to Sweet Home Alabama at least 15 times while writing this LOL


	30. Chapter 30

"So, Ellis," Nick said absently as he examined the map. "We can detour a little to Montgomery and spend the night there in a military outpost _or_ we can link up with the I-85 and keep heading to Atlanta. If we do that then we won't be able to stop again until we reach Atlanta city… which is in about," he shrugged slightly, mentally calculating, "another two or three hours…"

"Well… It is gettin' kinda late…" Ellis said, shrugging. Although they had left New Orleans around noon it had taken them almost eight hours to travel a distance that should have taken them almost half that time… But neither one of them were going to complain, considering it was all for worthy reasons. The only downside was they had lost several hours of good daylight. It was dark now—uncomfortably so—especially since there were no other headlights coming or going. It was like a ghost-town and they were the only ones left alive. "Well… I kinda wanna see wha' shape the cities in, ya know? Jus' ta get a read on how things are comin' 'long. Maybe we can get some info on how things are goin' 'round the rest of the country."

"All right," Nick agreed. "I have no idea what sort of accommodations they've got going on, but it's probably better than trying to sleep in this god damn thing." His gaze drifted around to scowl at the very—in his opinion—ugly ass interior. It was amazing that the military had the balls to entrust civilians with all that fancy equipment.

"It ain't so bad," Ellis said defensively. "I kinda like it."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure that this is going to be tons better than whatever piece of shit car they give us at the last checkpoint. I swear to God, if I got stuck in a minivan I'm going to kill someone." Ellis chuckled and Nick looked at him. "You laugh like I'm not being serious."

"Well," Ellis let out a little noise, "here's to hopin' tha' it ain't gonna be a minivan, 'cause Imma be pretty pissed at ya if ya start killin' people over a car."

"Not any car, Ellis. A minivan. I would rather be in jail than be caught driving in one of those."

Ellis rolled his eyes. "It ain't gonna be a minivan, Nick."

Nick snorted. "You never know with these—ELLIS STOP!"

But it was far too late for the mechanic to do anything to stop the monstrous vehicle. The tires screeched as they attempted to come to a halt. Instead of coming to a clean stop, there was a loud sickening crunch as the Humvee caught a figure stumbling into the road. The Humvee jolted to a halt, sending the two jerking forward painfully, making their seatbelts lock annoyingly into place.

Ellis stared wide eyed out into the darkness, fingers gripping the steering wheel in a vice-like hold that left his knuckles white. "Wha'… Wha' jus'… Nick? Wha'd I… I jus'… I di'n't see it… Nick… I di'n't…" Ellis' face twisted with horror and he reached up to tear at his hair. "Oh God, Nick… tha' was a person wasn't it?"

"Stay here," Nick said firmly, unbuckling himself.

"But Nick!" Ellis called—he looked like he was about to burst into tears.

"Just stay here. Don't move." Nick reached into the backseats and pulled out a flashlight before cautiously opening the door. Light leading, the man stepped around the door, focusing the beam towards the ground.

Ah fuck… the first thing the light hit was a pair of legs. Well shit. He moved around quickly, light shining up and down the now-corpse. But then he let out a sigh of relief.

Despite the fact that the body had sustained some pretty serious (obviously fatal) injuries—it was still evident that the sallow, slack-faced and festering-skin all belonged to a very malnourished and ailing Infected. The conman cautiously prodded it with his foot and then rolled the badly disfigured corpse over. Yep… definitely an Infected—and if it wasn't, it mine as well have been. Underneath all the blood from the blunt trauma, it was already sporting decaying flesh that was hanging from its withered skin. Cloudy white eyes were rolled back into its head and a glob of curdled blood and spit dripped down its gaping maw. Well…

Nick gave it one last careful prod before grabbing it by the ankle and dragging it to the side of the ditch. Well, it wasn't exactly like he could do anything for it… and well… It wasn't like he was about to give the thing a ride.

He wiped his hand onto the sun-damaged grass and then climbed back into the Humvee. Ellis stared desperately at him but Nick nonchalantly put the flashlight back and clicked his seatbelt back in without a word. There was a long silence as Ellis continued to stare.

"Nick?" Ellis whispered fearfully.

"Well," Nick finally said. He looked at the other. "Looks like they weren't as 'thorough' as they said they were. I guess we're stopping at Montgomery no matter what."

Ellis face twisted with confusion. "I… wha'?"

"You roadkilled a zombie, Ellis. Good drivin'."

"It's—wha? I did wha'?" He shifted forward in his seat and seemed to try hard to look out into the darkness. "I though'…" He hesitated. "Are ya sure?"

"Yeah, Ellis. It was a zombie—get back in here. Hey. Listen." Ellis reluctantly closed the door again. He hunched forward and gave Nick a miserable stare. "It's fine. Just like old times… except you used a big fucking car to exact your revenge." Ellis let out a shaking breath and tried to smile, but he only managed to make himself look even more despondent. "Do you want me to drive?"

"Yeah, man. I'm shakin' so bad righ' now."

And so they switched places. Nick made sure Ellis climbed over the console instead of trying to go outside and 'confirm' that he had hit an Infected. Zombie or not, it was still a person (once upon a time) and Ellis seemed extremely distraught over that fact.

It took Nick a moment to adjust to driving the Humvee, but he caught on quickly. They continued towards Montgomery in silence until;

"Nick, are ya sure it was an Infected?"

"Yes, Ellis. I'm very sure," Nick replied patiently. "I think I've seen enough Infected to be able to tell one when I see one."

"…Wha' do ya think tha' means then?" Ellis asked softly. "I mean… like… if there's still Infected 'round an' stuff… ya think they'll be another outbreak?"

Nick would be lying if he said 'no', but at the moment it seemed better to be reassuring than logical. "No, I think that was probably just a straggler." Well, that at least, he thought was true. "And besides only Immunes are allowed access to land right now, so even if there are a few Infected here and there, we can't get Infected ourselves." Assuming it doesn't mutate or it doesn't bypass security and get to the masses.

"Yeah… Yeah yer probably righ' Nick…" Ellis let out a shaking sigh. "Man… Wha' are the chances I'd hit one of them though?" He laughed uneasily. "Like… Tha's jus'…" Ellis shook his head slowly, eyes wide, "Unlucky as shit on my part."

"Well, to be fair we're on the outskirts of a big city. I'm sure whatever Infected that may be left have been wandering for days now." Nick squinted. "Speaking of which, I think I'm starting to see lights up ahead. I think it's the outpost…"

…Now, Nick would have thought that the military would have been grateful to be informed of one less Infected they had to chase down (being as it was now lying dead somewhere off Interstate 65 in a ditch) but as it turned out—they were _pissed_. Absolutely livid. In fact, Nick was surprised they weren't shot right on the spot.

The second they had uttered the word "Infected" and it was pieced together that they had been in contact with one, a barrage of men in hazmat suits came pouring out of a building while all around them a very unnecessary series of alarms sounded.

"Well, goddamn, all this for us?" Nick asked sarcastically. Ellis gave him a wide-eyed stare before he disappeared in a wave of very pushy men. Nick had half-the mind to not struggle—vaguely recalling the lady back in New Orleans advising them to not disobey any orders else they'd be 'detained'. And it didn't help that they had about a dozen or two guns aimed in their direction. Nick wasn't stupid; he'd play nicely. For now.

About six men shoved him into a quarantine tent. "Get in there and take your clothes off," one of the suited men said—and it was impossible to tell where it had come from.

Nick turned to the general direction of the voice, grinning. "Dear God. Buy me dinner first, you dog." They weren't at all for laughs and instead pushed him more insistently towards the chamber. Nick sighed. "Come on, I got one of these bracelets on," he lifted his wrist, "I'm not going to get Infected—"

"You've had contact with Infected—" That voice came from behind him this time and Nick cautiously turned his head towards the new voice—growing annoyed by how disorienting it was trying to figure out who was talking. "—you could be carrying the Infection on your clothes or skin. Get into that room, take off all your belongings and put them through the slot."

All right, fine. Nick did as he was asked, scowling all the while and grumbling as he removed his rings. Jesus, he had gotten his rings back for what—half a day? Well fuck they should have just kept the goddamn things. He shoved his belongings through the slot and watched in mild amusement as a man carefully placed everything inside a hazardous material bag as though it were about to explode.

And next came the mist. Now call him paranoid, but Nick was fairly certain that this 'mist' was meant to kill him. He jerked back against the wall, unable to do anything but watch as the white smoke-like-cloud lifted up from vents along the ground. It carried a bad smell with it and he choked, eyes watering.

"Hey, what the fuck is this shit?" he asked, coughing helplessly.

"You're fine," one of the suited men responded. "This process will take about five more minutes and then we will move you into another room and you will have your blood drawn and tested—just to be sure. You and your companion will be kept overnight for observation."

"Do we at least get a hot meal and a nice warm bed?" Nick asked, annoyed.

"Assuming your blood work comes back clean, yes." Oh goodie.

After suffering the awful smell of whatever the fuck was 'decontaminating' him, Nick was given a very unfashionable pair of sweatpants and a tank-top that had to be _at least_ two sizes to small for him. But, whatever the fuck got him out of this little room was well worth squeezing into.

Oh, and having his blood drawn was about as pleasant as getting teeth pulled. The asshole that was assigned to Nick missed his vein not once—but three times. And each time they simply laughed it off with a 'oh it's been awhile' that made Nick want to throttle the life out of him. He didn't think having a needle digging into his vein and stabbing about painfully was really 'haha' worthy, but he was too busy grinding his teeth from the pain to really complain. His death glares sent the message that he couldn't verbalize. The man taking his blood eventually grew quiet and finished drawing three vials of blood in silence. When he was done he almost forgot to bandage Nicks arm.

"HEY!" Nick snarled as the man grabbed the vials and about sprinted away. Nick jerked his head towards his upraised arm that was only not sending spurts of blood everywhere because he had enough sense to apply pressure with his fingers. The soldier stuttered incoherently for a moment before grabbing a cotton ball and bandages. He very hastily bandaged the conman. Then, vials in hand, he hurried out of the room.

Dear _God_ it was as though the only people left alive in the country were a bunch of fucking morons. Well, thanks evolution. You've been kind.

Nick sat in the large and very sparse warehouse like room for what had to of been an hour before someone had the decency to return. That someone looked to have walked out of some medical sitcom—if he were a doctor, he looked about as knowledge as an eight year old. Nick stared.

"Well 00342186," the doctor said, "you are negative for the Infection."

Nicks eyes narrowed. "I have a name, thank you."

"Uh… oh, yeah." The doctor squinted hard down at the paper. "_Nicholas J. Gates._" Nick continued to glare coldly, even when the doctor finally looked up. "Yeah. Okay, you're going to be moved into the observation area."

"Right." He followed the talkative little man (Nick tuned him out in about 5 seconds flat) outside, through another building and finally to the observation area where not to his surprise, he found Ellis already waiting for him.

"Jesus Christ," Nick huffed. "Why do you _always_ get through this shit before me."

Ellis shrugged slightly, grinning a little but then his tiny grin became a smirk as his eyes wandered up and down the other. "Um… Nick… ya look really funny…" Nick glowered back as if daring the kid to go any further with the comment. Not at all phased by the look, Ellis continued; "Tha' really don' fit ya none. Like… size-wise or like… well, anythin' wise. Ya look really funny."

"Yeah, yeah, ha ha. Get your laughs in while you can." Nick looked at the doctor who was smiling stupidly as he glanced back and forth between them. "You can go," Nick said flatly.

"Oh, okay. Enjoy your stay!" Enjoy your—? Nick snorted and rolled his eyes as the goofy doctor found his way out.

And so it was back to just the two of them. Nick grumbled as he moved to sit next to the mechanic and he looked over at him, eyes narrowed as he took in the very baggy clothing the kid now wore.

"You're kidding me," he growled. "Ellis, switch clothes with me."

"Uh…" Ellis flushed slightly, "Why?"

"Because they're obviously idiots. You're smaller than me."

"Uh…" Ellis flushed a little darker. "Wha' if… they're… watchin'?"

Nick stared. "Ellis, I am not even going to begin to describe how much more uncomfortable it is wearing clothes two sizes too small."

With a little chuckle Ellis nodded. "All right… okay…"

And so they set to the task of exchanging clothes. If Ellis hadn't been so damn convinced that the whole 'observation' room meant that they were being 'observed' constantly he may have actually let Nick turn their clothes exchange into a more interesting task. However, it became very obvious that Ellis was far too aware of prying eyes to begin to exchange even flirty smiles.

"You know," Nick said, adjusting Ellis former tank-top on his body absently (it fit much better, thankyouverymuch). "For them to be thinking we still have a chance at Turning, it's not very nice of them to put us in the same room. I mean, what the hell would they expect us to do if one us Turned?"

"Um…" Ellis frowned. "I think it's jus' an extra precaution… I don' think they really think we're actually gonna Turn…"

"Well… No, probably not. But that's not the point." Nick stretched, glancing about the small rectangular room. There were four beds, all closely pressed together in the tight space. That was ironic—four months ago Nick would have killed to find any place that had four beds considering he had been traveling with _four_ people. But alas, fate had never been kind. They had always been short at least one bed—always.

"So…" Nick gently elbowed the other and Ellis blinked over at him. "Despite the fact that they totally lied about giving us food—I'm sort of all right with it. I'm tired and we've been blessed with beds…" He smirked slightly. "I would offer to make sure you slept well tonight, but I have a feeling you'd decline." Ellis flushed red. "You southerners and your properness. So disappointing." He sighed mockingly, before climbing across the bed they were sitting on and flopping onto it.

"Oh—ah, okay, um…" Ellis quickly followed suit, still red. "Well… um… I'd hate ta disappoint ya…"

"Oh yeah?" Nick mused, one eyebrow raised. "And how do you suppose you'll make it up to me?"

Ellis smiled shyly. "I'll think of somethin'…"

Well, despite the whole being-thrown-into-a-quaratine-room-and-then-forced-to-donate-blood-and-then-shoved-into-an-uncomfortably-small-room-for-overnight-observation Nick had the feeling that it may all work out to his advantage in the very near future.

Nick smirked at that sunny prospect before kissing Ellis' forehead gently. The kid somehow managed to turn a shade darker and Nick couldn't help but grin.

* * *

**A/N:** I totally drama-uped this chapter. Felt like it needed somethin'. –snort- But then my ability to concentrate went like WOOSH right out the window and you ended up with this SHITtastic chapter. I. Am. So. Sorry. LOL I REALLY hate this effing chapter.

And sorry fer missin' an update day. I was busy at work like insane last night and I promised a friend we'd work on beatin' all the L4D2 levels on expert for an achievement right after I got off work. So I had no time to write.

Probably like… a handful of chapters left (isn't that like the 4th time I've said that?) I'll probably spend maybe 1 or 2 chapters of them getting settled in before it's over. I'm actually trying to keep this going as long as I can (I go back to the dorms August 18th and I'd LOVE to be able to have something to occupy my time until then).


	31. Chapter 31

It may have been the fact that they hadn't seen an Infected for so long that made it impossible for Ellis to stop thinking about the one he had… well… roadkilled that night… But it seemed more likely that his thoughts were unable to quiet down because of one simple fact; he wasn't the loud obnoxious 23 year old who had fought from Savannah to New Orleans several months ago anymore—at least not in the same ignorant way.

When fighting to New Orleans killing Infected had turned into a challenge—a game, really. He had no qualms about tearing bullets into Infectious crowds—and why not? His entire mentality had been 'I can't wait to tell everyone about all this'. But it wasn't until he reached safety that had learned that he hadn't had anyone to tell anything to all along. It had been unchallenged and wishful thinking on his part. And he knew that now.

He didn't have that same childlike attitude today; this wasn't a game anymore. Too many lives had been lost… And worse was the realization that all those Infected he had killed had been people too. They had been brothers and sisters and moms and dads, friends and neighbors… He only hoped that his friends and family received mercy after their Infection—not mowed down with gleeful giggles and cackles by some ignorant child. In fact, he prayed that they had died peacefully—unlike the lives he had taken. Just prayed as hard as he could.

And maybe that was why he cried now—lying there with his face pressed into the pillow to muffle the sounds as he tried so, so very hard to pray to a God he wasn't sure he still believed in. Oh, but how he had started out so strong—asking for forgiveness and for peace, praying for the lives he had taken and for the lives that still remained—but then his mind eventually brought up a question; 'is anyone even listening?'

And at first that question had startled him. He hadn't really thought his faith was shaken, but the more he thought… the more he simply laid there and helplessly wondered, he came to two possible conclusions; there was no God or God had abandoned them. Neither was a comforting thought. It made him feel hollow, misguided, cheated and confused. What then? Who do you turn to after such a conclusion? Who do you ask for forgiveness from? Who do you pray to in hopes of peace?

It was impossible, impossible to _ever_ know for sure if his doubt was well placed. Faith was untouchable, intangible. If it was lost, he was the only one that could find it again—no one could hand it to him as though he had simply misplaced it. And, God forgive him, he wasn't sure if he _could_ find it.

"Ellis?" Ellis let in a little hiccup of breath before trying to will himself to be still. He still trembled and shook as he tried hard to keep his weeping in control. He wasn't fooling anyone—especially not Nick. The older man scooted a little closer, hand reaching up to take the young mans shoulder. He squeezed it gently. "Ellis? What's wrong?"

Ellis swallowed thickly and searched helplessly in the dim light. What to say? How to say it? He shuffled under the sheets and turned himself to face Nick before he buried himself into the others arms. Nick unquestioningly enveloped him, gently caressing his hair with gentle fondness.

Ellis relished the feel of being comforted in silence for several minutes, but he knew he couldn't leave Nick worrying. "Nick…?" he finally ventured quietly. Nick didn't reply, but Ellis knew he was listening. "…Do you," Ellis already knew the answer before he even asked, but still, he couldn't help himself, "do you believe in God?"

Nick let in a slow breath, trying to decide how to handle the question delicately. "Once upon a time…" he answered softly.

Ellis nuzzled a little closer, hands coming up to clutch at Nicks body. They were pressed together tightly, but it was more comforting to Ellis than anything. If Nick was uncomfortable it wasn't obvious. "Did ya stop 'fore or afta the Infection?"

"Before." Nick sounded so nonchalant about it. "Why were you crying?" Well, be blunt. Ellis was easily distracted and if he wanted to know why the kid was upset, being direct was probably the only way to ever know.

"…Nick, we sure killed a lot of people when we were goin' ta New Orleans… I never though' much of it at the time—" Ah, this shit?

"—and you shouldn't have, Ellis," Nick said firmly. "You did what you needed to do to survive."

"Yeah, I know. If I had though' of 'em as people it would have been too horrible… I probably… Probably woulda…" Ended up like Keith. "I woulda… not been able ta do it. But I can think on it now… an'… I feel bad 'cause I probably would of never though' twice 'bout it except tha' I killed tha' poor fella today… an' it reminded me 'bout how many people I've killed."

"For one thing, Ellis; it was a zombie. You did it a favor by killing it. Who knows what the military does when hunting them down. But whatever they do, I'm sure they're not kind about it."

Ellis sighed helplessly. "Nick, I _know_ he was a zombie, but he was a person at one time too. He use ta have a family an' everythin'… an' I jus' feel like I never woulda even though' about tha'… Ya know? Like sat down an' jus' realized tha' _damn_, that coulda been me."

"What's done is done. You did what you needed to do."

Ellis let out a frustrated noise and clutched at Nicks clothing. "Damn it, Nick! Why can't ya jus' hear me out on this? Wha' it if was yer Ma tha' I killed? Or yer brother? How would ya feel then?"

Well, that seemed to put it in perspective. Nick was oddly quiet and Ellis would have thought he was mad at him for suggesting such a thought, but Nick was still holding him in such a comforting and gentle manner.

Finally Nick sighed. "And what exactly do you want to do about it, Ellis?"

"I wanted ta pray for 'em… But I don' know if anyone's listenin'."

Again Nick was quiet—struggling hard to stay sensitive even when his logic was screaming loudly that now was the opportune time to kick Ellis' nasty God-fearing teachings right out the window. That would save him these sort of conversations in the future if they were both atheist—but honestly, Nick couldn't bring himself to destroy what little… innocence... the kid may still have.

"What do you want to believe?" Nick asked gently.

Ellis shook his head slightly. "I'd like ta believe tha' this whole zombie apocalypse thing was our own doin'… not a punishment from above… I'd like ta think tha' He still watches over us an' hears our prayers…"

"Well, then pray, Ellis. There's no harm in that." Nick pressed his lips to the others forehead. "I'm sure He'll listen."

"Ya think so?"

"Yeah, definitely. But if you start hearing little voices saying that us being together ain't right, you ignore that shit, got it?"

Ellis chuckled, grinning wide as he pressed his forehead against Nicks. "Yeah, man, I'll definitely do tha'. Ya ain't gatta worry 'bout tha' none."

* * *

It was at 6:45 in the morning that the military awoke them for some testing. It took them nearly two hours to be cleared and when they were, they were immediately returned to their vehicle (well _a_ vehicle that was similar to their last one but obviously exchanged for one that lacked zombie brains in the grill) and sent on their way.

It wasn't until they were a half an hour out of Montgomery that Nick came to a rather amusing realization: "Hey, Ellis? You know, we never did get to look around the city at all or ask how things were going about." He peeked over to Ellis who was sitting in the passenger seat with the map laying forgotten in his lap as he stared blankly out the window.

The young man shrugged slightly, still not looking over. "I guess we di'n't," he replied absently. Nick frowned as he glanced over. Ellis was being so… uncharacteristically quiet and unresponsive. Odd..

Nicks gaze unwilling returned to the rode. "I say if things go well, we mine-as-well drive all the way to the last outpost. I think it's Charlotte." Maybe getting a real roof over his head would brighten Ellis a little. "We can probably be there by four or five tonight… given we have no…" he cleared his throat, "distractions…"

Ellis smiled slightly—at least that had gotten a reaction. "Okay, yeah… We might wanna do tha'…. Considerin' it ain't tha' far from yer… our house from there." He risked a glance to Nick and he could see that the conman was grinning slightly—but, really, it was hard to tell from what. "Hey Nick? Does it snow in Oak Ridge?"

"Not really. It snows in the mountains though. Why?"

"I ain't never seen snow 'fore…" The young man shrugged slightly. "Though' maybe I'd see some in North Carolina."

"I think we'd have to travel more west for that… And besides, if you really want to see snow, we can go and visit Omaha sooner than April. You'll definitely see some snow then." Nick grinned. "Although I remember awhile back when I was a kid it ended up snowing three feet in mid-April. It was great. We got three days off from school."

"See, Nick, ya do remember things from when ya were a kid. An' 'fore ya were tryin' ta say ya di'n't." Ellis grinned and Nick was relieved that the kid seemed to snapping out of whatever depressive mood he had gotten into—that was Ellis for you. "But, man, we ain't never got no snow in Savannah but we got some pretty bad storms tha' made the schools close. Tha' was always awesome—except, well, when things started ta flood, 'cause tha' ain't ever cool, ya know? But it di'n't happen very often—big floodin', I mean. But school got closed a lot from storms."

"For rain?" Nick asked, confused.

"Yeah, man. Rain. Ya've seen tha' shit 'fore! Don' tell me yew'd wan' yer kids goin' ta school in tha' shit."

"For one; I don't have any kids, nor ever plan to." Nick looked to Ellis pointedly and said flatly, "Ever. And secondly; rain is rain. Snow is a different story. You southerners are just too god damn pampered. There were times when we went to school in blizzards, kid. Blizzards! You try driving in a whiteout. It's absolute shit.

"One time when I was eighteen," Nick couldn't help but realize he was staring to sound like Ellis with his 'one time' stories, but he continued nonetheless, "our school decided to stay open with a coming blizzard—now, I lived about twenty minutes away from the school, not long really, but it turns into an absolute nightmare in bad weather. You'd have killed to still be riding the bus at that time, but I was one stubborn little bastard and it didn't help that my little brother insisted I'd drive him every day. God, we got stuck in a snowdrift for hoooours and all I could do was sit there as my brother bitched and whined the _entire_ time. Ungrateful brat." Nick chuckled quietly before sighing. "Eric never did let me forget that… Ah well, that's Nebraska for you."

"Yeah," Ellis replied quietly. He began to fold the map absently as he spoke. "Ya know, I only seen artificial snow an' stuff, but I think it'd still be cool ta be in a blizzard an' all. I mean, I don' wanna be runnin' 'round in it, but watchin' it from inside would be so cool. An' seein' it all on the trees an' stuff would be real awesome. My Ma went ta Canada once when she was a kid an' she use ta tell me 'bout the snow an' how beautiful it was. I always wanted ta take her back there one day on vacation or somethin' but I… I never really got the chance ta." He fidgeted with the folded map, frowning.

Nick tapped his finger against the steering wheel for a moment—aware that Ellis had gone uncomfortably quiet again. Then an idea struck him. "So, Ellis. It's a nice day out, it's near lunchtime and we're coming up on a nice field. Wanna picnic?"

Ellis flushed slightly. "Ya… ya wanna have a picnic? Now?"

"Sure." Nick shrugged, "If you want."

"Okay… Yeah, sure."

Now, Ellis had to admit—he was incredibly amazed by how that simple little picnic seemed to lift him from his despair. Just sitting there in the sun on that badly worn blanket beside Nick who was doing his best to make their not-quite-gourmet meal into something enjoyable by simply being his witty and sarcastic self was… comforting. It was obvious that Nick was trying very hard to distract him from his anxious thoughts… and really, it was working. Wonderfully.

Ellis may have still not been sure if his God had abandoned him or even existed, but he still had Nick—and he had a good feeling that Nick would always be there; zombie apocalypse or not.

* * *

**A/N:** I figured the whole "God" issue had to come in at one point or another, and because I was feeling dramatic this morning I thought I'd try to work it in. Meh, it's good conflict at least lol

This chapter was paaainnful to write, thus why it ended so suddenly. I couldn't make myself write anymore.

Sorry for not updating yesterday. I was waaay too busy to write. That and family was over and it's impossible to write with family babbling at me all the time. Jesus.


	32. Chapter 32

And so they laid there, side by side, staring up at the sky in mutual silence. The sky was lacking any real clouds, but that didn't really matter. It wasn't as though the only reasons for lying back and relaxing in a field of gently rolling grassland was only so you can stare at clouds and point at funny figures to your companion. As far as Nick was concerned, blue as far as the eye could see was perfectly fine. The sun was still shinning and there was a gentle wind that made the air maybe a little brisk (it was February, Alabama or not) but nothing that was uncomfortable. The air was crisp, clean… untainted.

Everything was just… gentle. Quiet. There were soft sounds of birds all around, but it lacked any real noises. There were no cars or airplanes, no loud and obnoxious human activity that drowned out everything Mother Nature offered. There were just the undisturbed sweet and friendly calls of songbirds in the distance. It was almost too strange, almost too quiet.

It was hard for Nick to decide if the 'unnatural' quietness all around was a sad thing or not. Sure, it meant that things were still far from normal, but it was also oddly serene. He had spent much of his life in the big cities and the constant loudness of it never really bothered him… but he had a home in Oak Ridge for a reason too—it was quiet and simple. But, still, this was a different sort of silence. They were the only people around for probably miles and miles. Was that unsettling thought? Should he be upset or worried? Or was this an opportunistic time? Nick being Nick settled on the latter most.

"Hey…" the conman said gently, tilting his head towards the other. Ellis was lying there so cutely with his arms crossed over behind his head. Ellis blinked once and looked to him, beautiful blues all focused and rapt with attention—all that attention just for him. Nick felt a smirk on his lips. "So… did you ever figure out how you were gonna make up for last night?"

At first Ellis looked confused. His eyes narrowed with thought, one eyebrow lifting slightly… but a few seconds later a sudden grin stole his lips. The young man chuckled embarrassedly. "Ah, man, I almost fergot 'bout tha'..."

"Well… it's just the birds and bees around," Nick said, trying to sound offhanded and matter of fact. His eyes returned to the sky above and in the corner of his eye he could see that Ellis was starting to get his drift. The young man rolled onto his side to face the older man and he began to play with the grass between them.

"So, Nick… are we jus' gonna talk or…?" The little mechanic was smiling shyly as he twisted the grass between his fingers and when he lifted his gaze Nick was smirking back at him; Nick said nothing and made no indication that he had any desire to become intimate. Slightly confused, but more intrigued than anything, Ellis let out a little laugh. "Are you bein' coy, Nick? Seriously? You?"

"You're the one that promised great things," Nick replied mysteriously.

Ellis let out a little laugh before reaching over to tilt the mans face towards him and then he placed a gentle kiss to his lips. Each time he pulled away and returned, he scooted just a little closer until he found himself climbing on top of the other. Both of his hands threaded obsessively through Nicks hair as he kissed him over and over.

Now, Nick had meant that Ellis was left to do _everything_ and at first Ellis found it frustrating by how Nick simply laid there as he smothered him with kisses. But then Ellis realized something; he was being given _full_ reign of their lovemaking. Ellis was going to make the best of this absolute power.

And so Ellis took his sweet time—it may be hard to believe, but Ellis could be patient when he wanted. The fact that Nick was watching him so intently made everything seem more dramatic, more arousing—but Ellis didn't at all feel pressured. Quite the opposite in fact. He basked under the intense stare of those oh so lovely green-gold eyes, delighted by the fact that they greedily took in every little movement he made.

Ellis' lips came to Nicks neck and pressed a warm and wet kiss there before drawing away and placing another one a little further away. And now that he wasn't so pressed to tear Nicks clothes off, Ellis found his ability to undo those annoying buttons _greatly_ increased. In fact he didn't break any, not one!

Upon having his shirt unbuttoned fully Nicks breath seemed to pick up slightly. His chest rose and fell with deep slow breaths and Ellis dropped his chin down onto the exposed flesh, eyes searching Nicks. Nick tried to not smirk under that gaze, but it was impossible. Ellis just looked so god damn… naughty.

Ellis grinned back, kissing Nicks chest once, eyes unwavering as they held the others gaze. Then he slowly drew himself up onto his hands and knees—Nicks body between him—and leaned down to kiss him on the corner of the mouth, then down his jaw and finally just below his ear. He felt Nick shudder under him—ah, so that was a sensitive spot for him? That was good to know. Ellis teased the area with several hot and wet kisses before giving it a parting nip. He sat back, straddling the others waist. He paused in his movements, grinning down at the man lying so compliantly under him. It was so interesting to find Nick being so submissive….

Now, Nick was a patient, patient man—but there was something so impossibly irresistible about Ellis. Ellis shifted his hips slightly against his just to test him and the little teasing smile betrayed the intent behind that subtle movement. Oh, and how his eyes were so seductive. It was just too fucking much.

Nick drew in a shaking breath and his hands reached up for the others waist but to his surprise the others hands came down to grab his wrists and pin them back to the grass.

Ellis shifted closer, licking his teeth slowly. "Uh-uh. Patience, love."

Nick chuckled. "I'm being about as patient as I can possibly be, _dear_."

"Then be more patient," Ellis said, shrugging slightly—oh and how he grinned. Nick decided he could wait for a little longer… maybe. But then again, he didn't seem like he would need to wait too long. The moment Ellis undressed him completely, their pace had changed quiet quickly—and it was probably because Ellis found himself suddenly overwhelmed with all that naked skin at his fingertips. It wasn't about patience anymore—but need. And Ellis' needs were great.

Ellis reached down for the other and pulled him into a sitting position and when he did there was a moment when Nick hesitated—as if _asking_ for _permission_ to move. Unable to stop himself from grinning Ellis nodded. Instantly Nicks hands shot out to grab the ends of Ellis' shirt and he tore it him in one smooth motion—leaving Ellis' hair a fluff of tousled curls. Nick grinned broadly at those beautiful locks. Nicks hand strayed to brush them from his eyes and the slightly surprised look Ellis gave him upon the gentle gesture made him have to kiss the kid fiercely.

In a flash of clothing the rest of Ellis' garments were tossed away and Nick all but devoured Ellis in kisses. He pinned the young man to the grass, hands roaming and grasping, touching and fondling aggressively. The air was cold on their naked skin, more so as sweat began to glisten on their flesh as their heart rates climbed and their bodies began to pump out adrenaline along with feelings of pleasure and excitement. But shit, despite the goosebumps and shivers from the soft wind—neither could really complain; it was kind of sexy.

Tongues clashing still, Nick tugged Ellis insistently so he could move closer to his pants lying nearby. He reached blindly out for them and his fingers caught them and he racked it closer, free hand immediately taking up to searching through the pockets until—well-ah! He found exactly what they needed.

Nick forced them apart and Ellis still tried to come at him eagerly, way too engrossed with their fondling to even begin to think to stop. "Ellis, Ellis, what are we—" Ellis snatched the lotion right out of his hands before he could finish. Without a word Ellis returned his mouth to Nicks as he initiated a very fiery tongue lashing, all the while slathering a handful of lotion up and down Nicks stiff member. Well, there was his answer.

Again Ellis pulled away, tugging at Nick until he had coaxed the conman onto his knees. He pressed their bodies back together and Nick took the opportunity to graze his teeth across Ellis' throat. Ellis reached up to take Nicks face between both hands and kissed him roughly before he pulled away again and turned around.

Nicks hands moved to guide Ellis' hips back. He entered him with barely any preparation as Ellis pressed hard against him, eager to be filled with his lover. The young man let out a soft hiss that sounded pleased and his back curved enchantingly as he pressed his shoulders blades against Nicks chest. Ellis let out a soft groan and dropped his head against his lovers shoulder. Instantly Nicks arms came about his chest, pressing him as close as he could as his lips found Ellis' neck over and over, gently nipping and sucking.

Although bottom, Ellis was far from being out of control. In fact he ruled their entire lovemaking position. It was his movements, his firm and unrestrained rocks, his dip and jolt of his hips that set the pace. Ellis grinded their bodies together, one hand coming back to wrap about Nicks neck and his fingers gripped the mans hair in a vice-like hold that practically forced Nick to draw his lips away from Ellis' neck just so the kid didn't tear his hair out. But that was fine, Nick pressed his forehead into the back of Ellis' head, face nuzzling into the curls, hands grasping Ellis' warm, toned flesh in his palms, feeling every tremble, every little gasp the man took. And dear God, he couldn't have asked for a more sensual lover.

Did they have any regrets at all as they made love in the middle of an abandoned field barely a stones-throw away from a main highway? Nope. Not a single one. In fact all that open space simply seemed to beg for them to be as loud and vocal as they possibly could be. And Ellis was all for that, absolutely _all_ for it. Call him a screamer for it, but he didn't care; the louder he seemed to be the more emphatic their movements became. It was well worth a hoarse voice later. Absolutely… Absolutely worth every single passionate moan…

* * *

As they continued their way towards Charlotte, North Carolina, Ellis was back in the drivers seat and Nick was back to faithfully giving directions. Nick was very satisfied with the fact that Ellis had returned to his chatty never-done-talking-barely-even-taking-a-breath self. The more Ellis blathered on about nothing in particular, the more Nick found himself grinning. A lot of his mirth had to do with the fact that Ellis' voice would often crack and the young man would clear his throat and continue undaunted.

And although his chances of experiencing silence again for the rest of their roadtrip was probably near zero, Nick found himself perfectly content with that fact. Ellis was back to being Ellis, and that was exactly how Nick preferred it.

* * *

**A/N:** ALWAYS LUBRICANT CONVIENENTLY NEARBY! I said it before and I'm sticking with it—we won't talk about how long I spent trying to find some thing other than what they usually use as a substitute… It became way too much of a project and a distraction. Nick's prepared. Like a boy scout… but… that sounds creepy… Just… just never mind.

…It seems that I can't go a handful of chapters without them banging… I'm not sure if I should be apologetic about that or not LOL… Then again, I'm not really that fond of this chapter C_c


	33. Chapter 33

"Ah, man ya never been kite surfin' 'fore?" Ellis asked—and this was probably the hundredth random question he had asked in the last couple hours. Nick had to bite his tongue to keep himself from laughing. Jesus, Ellis seemed to be making up from his few hours of silence earlier with story after story after story. Nick wasn't about to complain though. He just smiled patiently as the kid continued to rant.

"Well, one time Keith an' I went kite surfin' over by Tybee Island—now I ain't gonna lie an' say I was real good at it or nothin', 'cause I wasn't. But Keith—fer some reason he _really_ though' tha' he was gonna be real good at it an' stuff righ' away, an' so righ' after we rented the shit he jus' like paddled his ass out there an' started ta try an' catch waves an' wind an' shit. Man, I ain't never seen no one break one of them things 'fore, but somehow Keith managed ta do it.

"He like, tried ta do some fancy shit, but he ended up flippin' the whole thing an' then he hit a big wave—an' man, didja know tha' water really ain't tha' soft ta land in? I mean—well, it wasn't really the water tha' he landed on anyway. He managed ta somehow get himself caught up on some rocks an' shit… an' man tha' thing like exploded all over the place an' the lifeguards were all pissed off 'cause then he was stuck out there on this little rocky area an' waves an' shit kept hittin' 'em over an' over. They had ta end up goin' an' callin' a rescue helicopter. Keith said all them days in the hospital was worth it though—said ridin' in one of them coast guard 'copters was totally cool. Come ta think of it—" Nick took in a sharp breath, rolling his eyes but Ellis continued as though he hadn't noticed (and he probably hadn't), "—I wonder if it was anythin' like the 'copter we got in at Whisperin' Oaks? I mean they look a lil different an' stuff, but a 'copters a 'copter, righ'?"

"I really don't know, Ellis…" Nick said, chuckling. "But I'm sure they're very similar…"

"Ah, man, speakin' of Whisperin' Oaks, we gatta go back there one day!" Ellis bounced excitedly and consequently jerked the wheel slightly, sending them lurching suddenly to the left. Nick let out a hiss of surprise and grabbed at the door instinctively. He glared at Ellis. "Sorry," Ellis replied and continued without missing another beat, "An' then we can actually ride them rides properly an' stuff. I mean, they'll be lines 'gain an' shit, but it'll be worth it."

"Sure," Nick said, straightening back in his seat. "But no Tunnel of Love."

"Ah, ya ain't no fun, Nick! An' I was hopin' I could mack on ya some." The young man grinned suddenly. "Hey, man ya ever been ta Disneyland or Disneyworld or anythin'?"

"Uh, no. I grew up in Omaha, remember?"

Ellis chuckled. "Oh, righ'. Well I've been ta Disneyworld 'fore, an' man tha' shit is _awesome_. I mean, Whisperin' Oaks is cool an' all, but it ain't no Disneyworld. The rides there are sooo cool, we should totally go one day! My favorite ride has gatta be Thunder Mountain! It's like the coolest shit ever! I loooove rollercoaster. An' man, when I was there with Keith—now he acts like he's all big an' brave an' shit—but he ain't a huge fan of heights an' so when we was goin' up on some of the hills he'd be screamin' bloody murder an' stuff—an' it was funny 'cause we wasn't even movin' much, but like, doin' that slow crawl an' shit… an' he was screamin' so much he was like scarin' other little kids on the ride. Man, it was pretty funny. Except, well, when he puked on the ride. Tha' wasn't so cool at all, man. I almost puked too. An' I swear… pukin' does stuff ta people. One person goes an' like _everyone_ does too. Man, I di'n't ride another rollercoaster ride for like… a whole day after tha'. But I got over it pretty quickly 'cause ya jus' learn ta get over tha' shit 'cause we was havin' way too much an' stuff an'…" Silence.

"…And?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow at the other. Did he just give Ellis permission to keep speaking? It sure seemed like it. Ellis, however, gave him a befuddled stare.

"Huh?"

Nick snorted with laughter. "Jesus, Ellis, did you lose your own train of thought?"

Ellis chuckled embarrassedly. "Yeah… I guess I did… wha' was I talkin' 'bout again?"

"Hell, I don't even remember. Something about vomit and roller coasters."

Ellis absolutely glowed—and Nick was afraid to ask why, but Ellis started to rant again and it became clear; "Hey, remember tha' time when we was on the Screamin' Oak an' tha' Boomer puked all over Coach an' he almost fell off? I mean, tha' really wasn't funny, but after we got into tha' safe room, it was pretty hilarious."

Nick shook his head, letting out a noise of disbelief. "He smelled like shit for a week, Ellis. It was disgusting."

"Yeah," Ellis shrugged lightly, "but it was still kinda funny."

"Uh-huh… Well, look at that." Nick gestured towards the coming sign. "Looks like we're only about twenty more miles from Charlotte… And we're making such good time. We'll probably be there by seven. At least."

"Good thing too, 'cause it's gettin' dark…" Ellis gripped the steering wheel, frowning. "I ain't a fan of the dark no more…"

"Well, I'll be sure to find you a nightlight."

Ellis huffed. "Thanks, Nick. I really appreciate tha'."

"Aw, I didn't hurt your feelings, did I? I'm sorry baby." Nick reached over to rough Ellis' hair—which was hard considering how ridiculously large the distance between them was. Because of how much of an effort Nick had to make to playfully ruffle his hair, any and all annoyance Ellis may have harbored disappeared instantly. The kid gave Nick a lopsided smile. "Just think of it like this—this is the last night you need to drive. After that, it'll be home sweet home. And I promise, I won't make you drive after dark if you don't want to."

Ellis chuckled, "Well, thanks, Nick. Yer too sweet."

"Uh-huh. It's what I do," the other replied, smirking.

* * *

When they entered the outskirts of Charlotte, Nick couldn't help but gape. It was a wonder as to why the military had decided to even bother making it an outpost. It looked like a warzone—an absolutely fucked up beyond belief warzone. Any building as far as the eye could see was either leveled, fire damaged and/or tattered beyond repair. It was eerie and uncomfortable. It seemed like they had come into an area that had been bombed to hell and back with no regard for any uninfected still cowering from the horrors outside. In fact, that probably wasn't far from the truth. It seemed as though Charlotte had faced the same fate as New Orleans.

Ellis swallowed thickly, leaning forward and letting his eyes scan the rubble all around as they entered farther into the city."…We ain't got much a choice but ta stop here, huh?" Ellis asked quietly. The Humvee came to a slow crawl, headlights shinning off all kinds of rubble that left some awfully sinister shadows.

Nick nodded slightly, flicking on the flashlight to look at the map. "Yeah… we have to do our exchange here…"

Ellis frowned, coming to a stop at a large menacing gate barricading the highway. Somewhere to their left they could see a group of military men (guns in hand) unlocking the gate and moving towards them cautiously.

"I really don' think I wanna stay the night here, Nick…" Ellis whispered quietly watching as the three men moved towards them as though they were surely going to burst out of the vehicle and try to eat them. Zombies driving military issued Humvees? Well, shit, these people sure had some pretty goddamn good imaginations. Or they were just paranoid as fuck.

Nick frowned as he watched the men creep closer. "Yeah, I agree. We'll just get our checkpoint registered and see if they'll 'escort' us tonight. Not that we need one, but whatever."

The leading solider tapped on the window and Ellis quickly lowered it. He was greeted by a barrel pointed directly at his face. The southerner swallowed thickly, trying his best to smile—but he found himself a little too alarmed with the thought of a loaded gun pressed into his face. Ellis' mouth moved wordlessly, eyes focused with terror on the barrel.

"Hey," Nick called angrily. "Lower your fucking guns, Jesus fucking Christ. What's wrong with you?"

The soldier hesitated a moment before drawing the gun away, "Identifications." And so the two offered their bracelets and the soldier read the number off Ellis' before looking through a clipboard full of pages. "Yeah, you're the ones that left Montgomery today, right?" He frowned before looking back up at them. "What took you so long?"

"…Uh," Ellis flushed. "We uh…"

"Got kinky," Nick offered matter-of-factly—Ellis turned completely red at this and gripped the steering wheel between his hands, staring hard at it and said nothing. "So, anyways, when the hell can we get out of here? No offense, but Charlotte looks like shit and we're not feeling the love here. Can we get an escort tonight?"

The soldier frowned down at the clipboard again. "I'll see what I can do. You're only about an hour away so it probably won't be a huge deal and your vehicle and supplies are already waiting. I'll see if I can find anyone to escort you. Drive up to the lights over there and wait for someone else to come get you."

Ellis shifted the car back into gear and slowly crept to the designated area. Nick was amused that Ellis was still a fierce shade of red. The southerner shifted the car back into park and sat back. Nick continued to eye the other, still grinning in amusement.

Ellis finally looked at him. "I can't believe ya were a con-artist, Nick," Ellis said helplessly. "Yer terrible."

Nick laughed loudly. "You'll get use to it."

"Jesus." Ellis pressed one hand over his eyes and laughed. "Ya give way more information than I ever woulda." He peaked through his fingers and couldn't help but grin back at the older man.

"Well, you're far more modest than I am. But I'll ruin that eventually." Ellis shook his head at this, but he was smiling widely. "Well, looks like our soldier friend is here."

It seemed that the military was far more than willing to shuffle Immunes along as fast as they could, because within fifteen minutes they were given a different car (Nick was happy it wasn't a minivan, but instead a Ford Explorer—even if the god damn thing was older than Hell itself). They were escorted by two vehicles and it was sort of strange to be driving on the highway with another human being consider they hadn't seen anyone on the road since they had left New Orleans. But at the same time… it was… comforting.

Ellis had gone strangely quiet—which Nick found to be odd. He wondered if maybe he had embarrassed the kid into silence, but when he glanced over he saw that Ellis was sitting there in the passenger seat, smiling so gently, eyes so focused and eager. It was like… Ellis was trying to take in everything—trying so hard to remember this last stretch—this tiny expanse of road that would lead him to his new home. Unable to help himself, Nick began to smile too.

_That's right Oak Ridge, little town nestled in the middle-of-nowhere. We're coming for you; so please, please still be waiting there for us. I don't want this kid to ever stop smiling._

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** I alllmmooost wanna just end it here… ALMOST, I couldn't do it because I still have some ideas for them settling in. SO. BARE WITH ME I'M SORRY. /sob

And again, thank you so much for all the reviews and for reading this. I appreciate it so, so very much. Ya'll have been too kind.


	34. Chapter 34

_This is the first day of my life,_

_I swear I was born right in the doorway. _

_I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed;_

_They're spreading blankets on the beach._

The military entered the apartment first—making sure that the two stayed in the car and waited. They had to make sure the apartment and the surrounding complexes weren't hiding any potential Infected. At least they were thorough; it took them about a half hour before they returned and gave them the 'okay' to move.

"I think breaking down the door was unnecessary," Nick said flatly, pushing on the door that was now stripped of its lock. He let out an annoyed noise. "Well… whatever." He glanced to Ellis who was standing closely behind him, eyes wide and staring into the dark apartment. Nick moved inside and flicked the light switch up and down several times. Nothing happened. "Well, I guess we don't have any power right now." He clicked on the flashlight. "I guess we can fix that in the morning…" His hand dropped down to find Ellis' and Ellis gave him a wide-eyed stare, mouth dropped opened slightly. It seemed he was still in a state of shock to finally be standing in the doorway of his new home, like his dream had finally come true. "Wanna look around? It's dark as hell and even though I haven't been here for a few months, I still know my way around." He grinned in the darkness and Ellis could barely make it out. The young man nodded.

And so with one hand in Ellis' and the other leading them around with a beam of light, Nick began damage control.

For the most part everything was left undisturbed. The windows had been boarded up (Nick noted to thank his landlord if he were still alive) and a few things had been overturned and misplaced—but Nick figured that most everything was left untouched and that meant whoever had been in here last had probably been using the place to hide-out. Come to think of it, the landlord and some lady he hired to keep the place tidy while he was away were the only ones with a key besides himself. And since the door had _just_ recently been ruined it seemed likely that one of those two had last used the place… He wasn't going to complain, he had barged into more than one house himself over the Infection.

"Aaaand," Nick said, sweeping his hand into the next room, "The master bedroom. Lovely, ain't it?"

Ellis' face scrunched cutely as he squinted into the darkness. "I can't see much."

"Nope, and you won't until the morning." Nick pressed the flashlight into Ellis' hands. "God knows who or what last slept in my bed so I'm getting some new linens and blankets. Hold the flashlight on me, thank you." Ellis didn't at all mind focusing the light all over Nicks body. The young man actually found himself smirking as he eyed the other up and down. If Nick noticed his not-so-subtle eye molestation unfolding behind him, he didn't act like it. The conman simply tore off all the sheets and blankets and then moved to the closet.

He pulled out a new (hopefully clean) sheet, and being Nick he smelled it suspiciously. "Sure smells clean. But I don't want to think too much about it. I'd hate to think someone's been in my closet."

"Nah, jus' you 'til ya met me."

Nick couldn't help but grin. "HA! Ellis, you're _hilarious_." He shook out the folds in the sheet. "Smartass." Ellis giggled and watched as Nick moved around the bed to tuck in each corner of the sheet into place. He returned to the closet for the second sheet (probably mismatched, it was hard to tell) and in one fluid motion draped it across the bed.

"Yer good at tha'," Ellis said, smirking. "Yer more an' more the girl with each comin' day."

"Says the screamer." Ellis flushed and he was happy that it was too dark for Nick to satisfy himself with the knowledge that he had managed to make him blush. "And, now, my love…" The older man smoothed out the rest of the new blankets. "We sleep. Together. In our new home… For the first time. Will you join me?"

"Uh-huh!" Ellis clicked off the flashlight and bound into the bed. He reached out blindly to grab at Nick and pulled the other into the bed. Ellis wiggled about as the older man shuffled the blankets over them. Nick pressed him close, face resting gently against Ellis'. After a moment, Ellis closed his eyes and with the warmth of the other so securely nearby, he fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

_Yours is the first face that I saw._

_I think I was blind before I met you._

_I don't know where I am,_

_I don't know where I've been,_

_But I know where I want to go._

Nick awoke to find that Ellis had already gotten up. Frowning the conman rolled onto his back and squinted up at the ceiling. He half yawned but it caught in his throat when he came to the realization that his alarm clock was on, blinking annoyingly, but it was on nonetheless. He sat up slightly. So… the power was back on? He frowned.

Grudgingly he climbed out of the bed and moved to the light switch. Each time he flipped it up the bedroom light came on. He just stood there frowning at it as he flicked it on and off several times. That was… odd… Why would it suddenly...?

"Ellis?" he called, stepping out into living room. He tilted his head slowly—Ellis was… was….

The young man turned around and then grinned. "'Morning, Nick! I flipped some switches an' got the power an' water runnin'. So I took a shower… I couldn't find nothin' ta put on so I… I hope ya don' mind me wearin' this…" Ellis shifted slightly, noticing how Nick seemed to be frozen in place—eyes wandering up and down him in blatant surprise. Ellis chuckled nervously. "Do I look tha' bad?"

Bad? Look bad? Nick had to catch himself before he drooled. The kid looked fucking… just… delicious. Sure, he was wearing one of Nicks suits which was a little too big on him… But even so, just the very look was so becoming on the younger man. It was a black suit—buttoned up with obvious attentiveness, covering a dark gray dress shirt—and gods, _the tie_. It was a dark maroon, actually perfectly tied and straightened. Everything was perfectly in place. Fucking… just…

"Nick?" Ellis asked quietly—he was beginning to grin. Nicks face was no longer that of a stunned stupor—but instead a ravenous stare. His lips were curled back to form a wolfish grin that may have been intimating had Ellis not trusted Nick so much. And those eyes—oh how those eyes were half-mast with lust and desire. It appeared Ellis had started Nicks morning off on the… well… right foot.

Nicks eyes continued to roam up and down the other as he moved closer, making one very slow circle around the young man. Ellis stood, hands on hips, grinning broadly all the while.

"Are ya done yet, Nick? Had yer fill?"

Nick came to a stop directly before the other and Ellis had to tilt his head back so he could look him in the eye. Nick reached up slowly, touching the top of Ellis' shoulders, running his hands down his arms, fingers drifting to his hips and the back up to the collar. He adjusted the collar ever so slightly, admiring how fucking _perfect_ Ellis looked.

"How am I ever going…" Nick took in a slow breath, eyes dark with lust as he shifted slightly forward, "to get anything done? With you wearing this?" His fingers found the tie and he slowly brought it into his hand, fisting it and then pulled Ellis closer. Ellis felt himself blushing under those intense eyes, but he held the older mans gaze evenly. "Whatever will we do about this?"

Ellis pursed his lips together, eyes breaking away to mockingly search the far wall for an answer. "I don' know… Fulfill any fantasies ya migh' have?"

Nick tugged Ellis' tie again and this time into a kiss. He was firm with the kiss, deep and lustful—mostly tongue than anything else. Ellis felt himself melting against the other, hands coming up to grasp him and pull him close. Oh and how Nick bent him backwards with a forceful kiss that made his body ache with longing. Nicks hands came up—as if to tear Ellis' clothes right off—but then they changed course and went straight to the southerns belt. He practically tore it and then his pants off without even so much of a pause.

"So," Ellis breathed as Nick grabbed his bare ass in his hands and forced his body against his. "Ya really like this suit, huh?"

"You have no fucking idea." A series of forceful kisses and pushing brought Ellis back into the bedroom where Nick gave him one last shove and he toppled backwards onto it. Ellis moved to pull off the rest of his suit but— "No!" Nick said quickly, pouncing him. "Ellis, leave it all. I'll let you fuck me in any way you want. Just leave it on."

Ellis flushed furiously. "I—oh? You…" He shifted himself up onto his elbows and his lips met Nicks gently. "Anythin' I wan'?"

Nick let out a shaking laugh that was filled with tremors of uncontrollable desire. "Yeah, but I wanna look at you when you do it."

"All right." Ellis shifted forward, arms coming to wrap about the others neck and he kissed him again. "Then let's get tha' clothes of yers off."

Nick did as he was told without any complaint. Did absolutely anything and everything Ellis directed him to do—and how could he refuse? He had an eyeful of absolute perfection playing him like a talented musician. Oh, yes, Ellis was masterful with his movements—coaxing out moans and gasps with powerful thrusts or gentle rocks—whatever he felt like doing. And Nick let him do it, let him do whatever the hell he wanted.

Nick shifted his hips slightly, toes digging into the bed as he angled himself a little differently, hands reaching out to touch and clutch at Ellis' clothes. God how he loved the look of that suit on Ellis, the feel of it—the softness of the dress shirt contrasting against the roughness of the suit—oh God, yes. Oh and how beautifully Ellis was smiling, his hands gripping the older mans hips, guiding himself in and out with an intoxicating rhythm.

Nick was sure he was going to faint from the bliss—just absolute melt into oblivion. He hardly noticed that his eyes had closed as he pressed his head back into the pillow, back arching, biting his lip between his teeth to suppress low moans that he couldn't even begin to hope to contain. Ellis must have really liked that, because his hands left his hips and moved to either side of the older man as he shifted forward into a position that allowed him to move more freely, more firmly, more hurriedly.

"Ni-Nick, I... I wanna… wanna hear… hear ya…" Ellis was flushed with passion (didn't help that he was still half-clothed) and panting. Why would Nick torture him by keeping all those noises to himself?

Nick smiled in between his soft gasps—wanted to hear him? All right. If that's what he wanted. He'd do anything for Ellis—even though he was almost positive that this was a roundabout way to somehow get back at him for calling Ellis a 'screamer' the other night. But, whatever Ellis wanted he would get.

Unrestrained, pleased and throaty moans left Nick—and he was almost surprised by how… well, vocal, he could be. Ellis shuddered against him almost immediately in the throes of an orgasm—too overwhelmed by his lovers satisfied noises to withstand another moment of passion. And Nick didn't last much longer either, especially not when his eyes caught that little goofy smile—that so very satisfied grin, flushed cheeks, swollen lips and lovely blues. Oh, how Ellis smiled as he felt his lover trembling with release under him. Just smiled, so brilliantly, so god damn lovely, so perfect—so fucking beautiful.

_This is the first day of my life. _

_I'm glad I didn't die before I met you._

_But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you_

_And I'd probably be happy._

/end

* * *

**A/N:**. I am incredibly depressed ending this (I feel so lost with the thought that it's over T-T)—and I almost feel like it's not complete enough and so there may be an epilogue to follow this; I haven't decided yet. If I can make one that doesn't sound cheesy, I'll post it. If not, this is goodbye! HEARTS!

The song verses are from "First Day of my Life" by Bright Eyes. I felt it was appropriate to end with another song (parts of it) considering this story was born on lyrics of depression and helplessness… Thought ending it with another song—but brighter and sweeter would be appropriate.

And I must thank you all from the bottom of my heart for reading, reviewing and sticking with me through this journey. I have no words to describe the gratitude I have for you all. Thank you. So much.


	35. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_September 6th, 2010_

Over the last few months Nick had made some pretty intense promises. Did he regret any of them? Not particularly. So far he was 3 for 4.

He had kept his promise to his sister—when his phone had rang for the first time in late February he had answered. He had answered it every time since—and Ellis had returned more calls than he could possibly keep track of, but whatever made the kid happy… he would let him do whatever he wanted.

By early March they had traveled to Omaha and Ellis had seen snow—rather, he had dove into the first snow bank he had seen and then reemerged with a shocked expression and a proclamation of 'Damn, man, this shit's cold!', of which, Nick had spent a good five minutes laughing until his sides hurts. Guess the kid really hadn't seen snow before.

They had spent the rest of March all the way through Easter in Omaha—and that had kept his promise to his nieces. Hell, they had stayed until late May. It had been… odd. Spending so much time with the same people. Sure, he had done it before in his conning. Knitting new weaves of friendship, only to destroy or cut them later. But this was different… This time when he had left, he had had no intentions of severing these lines… And shit, he still had _him_ at his side. He never would have thought he could stand being so close to someone for so long.

But Ellis… Ellis was much different than anyone else he had ever met. Then again, he had never really been in love before—so maybe that's what this was. This need to always be close, to hear that voice, see those smiles… He had never wanted to be there for someone so much... His heart hurt too much when they were apart… Shit… was that cliché of him to say? That he was lovesick? Maybe… regardless, it was true. He needed Ellis. Ellis was his addiction.

By July the rest of the Survivors had returned. You may have thought that these returning folks would be cautious and cold—afraid of what tomorrow would bring—another outbreak? A different one? More death, more losses…? More suffering and pain? And although what had made them all human may have suffered and been lost during the Green Flu outbreaks, it wasn't a permanent loss. It had never been. In fact, if anything, all that humanity had returned tenfold—maybe to make up for those days in which empathy had been replaced with callousness and indifference. When neighbor saw neighbor, alive and well, there was no suspicious scowls or dogging cautiousness, but tears and laughs in between embraces of someone that could have very easily been a stranger before the Infection, but today was nothing short of family.

It was obvious in the fact that Nick hadn't even the slightest clue of who had lived near him. Oak Ridge hadn't been a location he had wanted to exploit and so he had countered his conniving nature by simply ignoring what was without his home. What he didn't know was out there, he couldn't con. But that had all changed—and maybe it had been Ellis' fault that he now knew the names and faces of his neighbors, but shit… This made it more like a home, right? Being able to stroll next door, tap on the door and find a familiar face that was just glad to have company, right? Yeah, I'll borrow some sugar, thanks, but first tell me about the kids, how things are going for you, did you get that room painted? Did you hang up those photos on your bedroom wall?

Nick couldn't even begin to count how many people Ellis had simply walked up to and asked if they needed any help cleaning up their homes or getting things working again. At first it had annoyed him—mostly because he had somehow always ended up having to go with Ellis—maybe because he was still a little paranoid—but mostly because the way those big blues eyes had blinked so innocently at him, but at the same time asked that little 'wanna come to, Nick?'. Of course he did. He always did. He could never say no. Being apart was just not an option.

It had surprised Nick by how easily he accepted this new lifestyle. People were interesting… he had always thought that, known that. That was probably why he had enjoyed face-to-face conning instead of stealing identities or some other shit from afar. He had enjoyed that interaction—studying people, learning what made them tick and where their weaknesses fell. Figuring out the easiest way to charm them, to steal from them, to hurt them and to leave them still trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened… that had been thrilling for him.

But, it was different now… Sure, habit had forced him to calculate people like math problems, but he wasn't that practitioner anymore. He had no more desire to break these people…but to learn more than just how to fuck them out of whatever he wanted. You didn't always have to know someone's hopes and dreams, heartaches or joys to con them. Sometimes just a winning smile was enough… People had turned out to be more interesting than he had originally thought.

Yeah, Ellis sure had changed him. For the better though. Nick was still Nick—a stubborn asshole who often gave more than he could take, but he was different in the sense of patience. Well… maybe heart was a better way to say it. He was still Nick, but his heart wasn't as heavy and cold as it had once been. Yeah, he had changed. Probably for the better. Well… definitely for the better. Yeah, no doubt for the better. It was good to feel; to feel dizzy with adoration or faint with love. That was okay. He wouldn't trade this feeling for anything else in the world…

* * *

He had been planning this for weeks—months, actually. He had left early in the morning to sneak out of the apartment—which had felt sort of strange since he had never done so with Ellis (other people, sure, but not El)—but he had returned before the man had awakened. And that was exactly what he had hoped.

Nick leaned in the doorway of his—their—bedroom and smiled fondly at the mechanic. Ellis was so god damn cute as he laid there, tangled in blankets, his face pressed into the pillow with a half-smile that never seemed to go away. God damn… He could stand here forever admiring that beautiful man… But he had one last promise to fulfill.

The gambler padded across the carpet until very gently sitting himself on the edge of the bed. He leaned towards the mechanic and lifted one hand that held a sleepy-eyed and quietly mewling kitten. The little thing let out another little noise as it was placed beside Ellis' face and it gave a few awkward steps on the bunched blankets until it was directly before Ellis' face. It gave the new object a curious look—but what was this? A slight twitch of Ellis' eyes caught the kitten's full attention and delicately it raised one paw to prod curiously at the little movement.

Ellis' eyes blinked opened and at first he didn't quite seem to understand what he was looking at. He blinked hard, shaking his head slightly and tilted his head back, but the kitten was relentless—following his adjustment with more awkward little steps. And then Ellis let out a little squeak and a grin stole his lips. Nick laughed.

"Ah, man, Nick!" Ellis said, eyes wide, his grin so god damn big it _must_ have hurt. Ellis lifted one hand to gently run his fingers over the kitten. It mewled contently and brushed insistently against his hand. "Aw… man, Nick…" Ellis pushed himself up onto one elbow and continued to pet and scratch at the affectionate little kitten. The young man grinned at the other. "Man… Are ya really lettin' me have this little guy, Nick?"

"Wouldn't bring it in here otherwise." Nick said. He looked immensely satisfied at himself. Those green eyes watched as Ellis shifted onto his back and lifted the little kitten onto his stomach. It was so little in his hands, but it seemed so unaware of how vulnerable it was. It just kept its intense purring, little paws lifting to grab onto Ellis' hands and gave the mechanic a few playful bites. "Well… any names? I got a kitten specifically that didn't have any damn white paws. So no lame names."

Ellis chuckled and tilted his head slightly as he studied it. The kitten let out an insistent meow and Ellis chuckled, petting it obsessively. "Is it a girl or a boy?"

Nick almost laughed. "Far as I know, it's female." And if it wasn't, he was going to kick someone's ass.

"All right…" Ellis chewed at his lip thoughtfully, one eye squinting hard. God damn it, he was so fucking cute as he did it. It took everything in Nick to keep himself from crawling across the bed and smothering Ellis with kisses… Not that Ellis should mind too terribly much, but it'd be nice to let the kid bond with his new pet. "I think… Elise."

Nick quirked an eyebrow, "Elise? Why that?"

"'Cause it's the first song I heard ya play." Ellis grinned slightly, but he was blushing hard. "I think it was when I first began ta fall in love with ya…"

Nick opened his mouth to stay something, but then he just smiled and leaned over to place a kiss at the corner of Ellis' mouth. When he pulled away he rubbed the kitten's head affectionately. "All right. Elise it is."

* * *

"Hey Nick?" Ellis asked as he padded out into the living room. He had been listening to the man play for quite some time and when he actually found himself _watching_ Nick play his piano… well… Ellis felt a new flutter in his chest.

"Hmm?" Nick glanced over his shoulder. "You finally put that kitten down." It had been _hours_. To be honest, Nick had been betting on the kitten lasting longer than Ellis, but, he probably shouldn't have been surprised to find the mechanic meeting him outside instead of that silver-eyed kitten. Not that Nick would complain. He was actually starting to grow a little jealous.

"Yeah…" Ellis shuffled up behind the conman and wrapped him in a hug from behind. His lips met Nick's nape. "Nick? Yer givin' me presents today… But, it should be the other way 'round."

"Oh yeah?" Nick shifted slightly, enjoying how Ellis' hands had worked up under his shirt to knead across his stomach.

"Uhhuh…" Ellis pressed his body closer, pressing his lips against the others ear, "Happy Birthday, love."

Nick blinked once, glancing up. He blinked several times. Well, holy shit. That really snuck the fuck up on—

Ellis' fingers lifted to brush down the conman's arms then to his hands and interlaced his fingers with his and the sound of the melody fell away on a few lingering notes that drifted seemingly all around them. Nick felt a grin tugging at his mouth. Ellis' hands rose to press their interlaced fingers to Nick's chest and he tugged insistently at him and so Nick obliged to that tugging and got to his feet. Ellis guided him away from the bench.

"Where are we going, Ellis?"

"Places." Ellis purred, and began to walk the man backwards.

"Oh yeah?" Nick quirked an eyebrow. "What kind of places?"

"You'll see, Nick."

Although he trusted Ellis completely, Nick still couldn't help but wonder _where_ they were going. But it was becoming obvious… so very obvious.

"Close yer eyes, now, Nick." Ellis whispered. "An' no peakin'…" Nick clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, but he did as he was asked. One of Ellis' hand's released his, and with curiously good smoothness twirled him about so that they were facing each other. Ellis, stepped close, shifting them in a half circle and once again Nick found himself walking backwards. The back of his legs hit the bed and he felt Ellis move closer, lips met his throat and both of the mechanic's hands guided him down onto the bed.

"Can I open them yet?"

"No."

No? Nick began to grin. However his grin soon became a smirk as Ellis' fingertips traced down his face and his neck to come to meet at the first button of his shirt. Slowly, carefully, each button began to come undone. Fingers traced across his exposed front until tickling to his shoulders and sliding the garment away.

And then Ellis was climbing into his lap and the mechanics' hands rose to tilt his face upwards and their lips met. Nick reached up slowly to rest his hands on Ellis' sides. He was greatly pleased to find that Ellis was already shirtless.

Ellis' kisses drew away from his lips until tracing a line down the gambler's jaw line, smothering him over and over, hands running across all that exposed flesh greedily. But then those hands found his face again.

"Nick…" Ellis whispered softly, inquiringly.

Nicks lips parted slightly and his eyes twitched, wanting so badly to take in that other man. "Yes, Ellis?"

Ellis lips pressed gently against his closed eyelids, first one and then the other. "Ya can open 'em…"

Nick's eyes opened, intense, green, striking and intent on taking in those beautiful blues. Their eyes held each other for a long moment until Nick shifted forward ever-so-slightly to brush their lips together. He could feel Ellis' warm breath exhale against him and the young man smiled at the faint touch. And god, he looked beautiful as he did.

Ellis had gone all out by decorating the room with as many candles as he could find. Nick didn't mind the fact that, really, nothing matched, but… Christ. Ellis was beautiful in that faint hue, in those flickers of light, the way shadows danced across his skin, how it played with the sparkle in his eyes… Ellis was perfect. He always had been and always would be.

Nick's eyes drifted slightly downward before he coaxed Ellis out of his lap and promptly switched positions with him. It was his turn to climb so adoringly, obsessively and lovingly into the others lap. Ellis flushed faintly at this, but he was grinning too. And that was good.

Nick's fingers lifted to Ellis shoulders and then his eyes drew downward again—to that splash of blue, that little intricate tribal tattoo that had been the disdain of his jokes far too many times. Oh, how he had teased the kid about it… but in truth, he wouldn't change a god damn thing about him. Never would. Ever.

He tilted his head to meet Ellis' shoulder and then butterfly kisses danced down his arm until kissing every inch of that inked skin. When he was finished, his lips left it, but his eyes did not. In the corner of his eye he could see Ellis was grinning slightly at him.

"I though'… ya di'n't like it?" Ellis asked hesitantly, blinking.

"What's not to like?" Nick asked, eyes meeting those blues again. Ellis squinted one eye closed in thought, lips twisting with thought, but Nick quickly met that adorable man with another powerful kiss. "I like everything about you. Let me rephrase that." He shifted his legs so he could press himself even closer. "I _love_ everything about you. Don't ever forget that."

Ellis smiled. "I won't, Nick."

_Good, because I'll never stop loving you, even if one day you change your mind about loving me back._

But he didn't dare say that out loud—maybe he was too afraid that voicing such concerns may put ideas into Ellis' mind… but, at the same time, he knew it didn't need to be said. He was pretty confident Ellis wanted this too. Probably forever.

Ellis tilted his head slightly, almost as if he could tell what Nick was thinking. And if he did, he knew exactly what he needed to do. He shifted closer and placed a tender kiss to Nick's lips; a kiss of gentleness, of love, of longing, desire, need and want.

Yeah, definitely forever.

* * *

**A/N:** I've been meaning to write this for a long time. And I needed to finish it; because I am a selfish person. I'm sorry.


End file.
